“I Can Make Time” — a Love Language

For most of us, 2020 wasn’t a good year. We’ve suffered in our ways. However, it gave us the biggest life lesson so far — the crucial need to devote your time to loved ones.

In a world where people are constantly running faster than the clock, relationships had taken a back step until 2020 dropped a bomb on us — a time bomb.

It took uncertainty to make us realize what we really should care about, that materialism won’t do any good.

. . . . .

Spending Time With Your Loved Ones Is Directly Linked To Health

A study by the US National Library of Medicine

National Institutes of Health, states:

Both work and family have high demands and intensive time commitments requiring “devotion” from participants and the blurring boundaries between work and home forcing individuals to make constrained choices about how to allocate time and energy.

As a result, many of us were forced to prioritize work over our personal lives. Such an imbalance strained intimate relations.

However, when the pandemic struck, I felt a drastic change in my mental health. Since I worked from home, my interactions with family and friends increased with what is referred to as “quality time”.

I had a chance to let loose.

Shared meals, weird jokes, and group workouts became a part of my new routine.

I was happier and as a result, healthier.

I wasn’t the only one to feel such a change.

Backed by research conducted by Massachusetts General Hospital (the original and largest teaching hospital of Harvard Medical School and a biomedical research facility in Boston, Massachusetts), spending time with loved ones will lead to better overall health.

. . . . .

Replace “I’m Busy” With “I Can Make Time”

I used to say it every time no matter if I was busy in reality, or not. From ignoring my friends’ get-togethers or lunch invitations to not sharing a meal on the family table, I’m guilty of them all.

I took people who love and care about me, for granted.

Instead, I relied on materialism out of sheer boredom. Retail therapy was my best friend for years. It was like a drug.

I was empty. It damaged me.

It took a pandemic for me to come to this realization.

Don’t try to fill an emotional gap in your life with spending. No object will ever satisfy your soul — Dave Ramsey, Author of Total Money Makeover.

At the end of the day, we as humans need other humans to be there for us not just when the need arises but for the sole reason to exist as a unit in a society.

You can make time if you want. If you feel the need. You’ll never be too busy for priorities.

Make them your priority.

The thing is, when we complain about being busy, we’re telling them they aren’t that important. This directly implies that we have other important things to do than to be with them.

We are prioritizing something never-ending — the need to make more money. Yes, it can make you feel happy, temporarily, by buying vacations at plush resorts. The question is — who with?

A mountain of evidence states that constantly trying to make more money won’t ever make you happy. How you plan to save and spend it, will.

Alternatively, you can enjoy your money and save it too.

You don’t need to replace your existing gadgets just because a desirable upgrade is available (or because everyone else is doing it) to look cool.

Truth is that there will never be a time when this need (or greed) will “free” us. It clings to us till we allow it to happen.

By telling them you can certainly make time for them and following it through your actions, you’re investing in the only thing that matters, the only thing you will cherish for life — an authentic bond.

Don’t let social media convince you otherwise. Don’t let the mindless scrolling replace time to be spent with friends and family.

Consumerism won’t take care of you when you’re old or sick. Love will.

. . . . .

Small Efforts Which Don’t Cost A Dime, Only Your Time

Setting Boundaries at Work: A corporate slave like myself, was burdened with work. The thing is, I failed at setting boundaries which made the bosses and colleagues see me as a dumpster for their work.

The next time you are expected to complete a task, submit it by the time-frame and not before that (else you’ll end up with more work than you can imagine!).

Try to not work “overtime” when not required. You will get that promotion (or the raise you’re eyeing). Replace quantity with quality.

Shamelessly, request your colleagues to cover for you while you take small work leaves for trips or vacations. Reward them with a “thank you” present when you’re back. This is a Japanese technique to take some time off which is unheard of, at least in my country (and company, until I used it).

Having At Least One Meal Together: Sounds like generic advice? Well, because it always works!

Since my brother had online classes and group calls, most of his time was spent on screens. I forced him to be “present” when we had to have lunches together. At dinner, I made sure there were no electronics in the room or on the table.

It took several angry looks from my brother (who tends to stay glued on his iPad), to make this a habit.

Personalized Gifts of Appreciation: No materialistic gifts, instead send them an e-card, e-mail, handwritten letter telling them how thankful you are to have them in your life, or cook a simple dish (a delicacy they love the most).

For years now, I’ve been testing my baking skills on my best friend. The deal is simple — I experiment with my baking and in return, he gets to eat all the cookies, bread, and brownies after he reviews them.

My brother is an artist. He makes personalized handmade presents for everyone in the family and his friends on birthdays.

Even if you don’t have a creative bone in the body, you can make use of your technical skills to help a loved one in need. They will appreciate surely appreciate your time and effort!

. . . . .

We certainly, don’t need another pandemic to teach us the value of time.

From Priyanka Chopra Jonas to an average 23-year-old lawyer turned writer like me, have the same 24 hours to manage work and personal life.

They are doing it, I learned my lesson — did you?