How to Survive Being a SAHM

There seems to be an idealized view of what it's like to be a stay at home mom. We wake up for homemade breakfasts of fun shaped pancakes topped with healthy fruit that our children devour with glee. We take picnics at the park with whole wheat bread. We share giggles under blanket forts. Maybe we do a lot of these things, but we also have plenty of work as well. There's a reason daycare is so expensive—kids take a lot of work throughout the day!

So, here is my advice on how I keep my sanity as a stay at home mom.

1. Find time for yourself. As a stay at home mom, there is no clocking out or lunch breaks and everyone seems to consider you unemployed and available for any task needed. It's important to carve out a window where you are not the one responsible for the kids. I'm not talking about a nice bath when the kids are supposed to be asleep because we all know kids will sense you are in the bathroom and get out of bed to ask "What ya doin'?" You have to get out of the house. Away from your children. Read a book at the park, go to a movie, have a drink with a friend. But do something that you can't do with your kids in tow. If you don't already have one, pick up a hobby. Learn to play guitar
2. Don't try to be a Pinterest level success. You have to find a parenting style that works for you and raises the kids you want to have. Kids really don't care if their salad came in a jar. Don't worry about making food pretty or if the toy area is organized by color. Our playroom has a few smaller bins for HotWheels, superhero figures, and Legos, but the bulk of the toys go into a larger bin where I've given up sorting out all the different types. It just isn't reasonable for young kids to sort out their toys into so many containers—and isn't the goal to teach them to pick up after themselves? And even still, rooms are going to be messy. If people think being a stay at home mom means having time for an immaculate house, they've never cleaned up after a toddler! They make messes faster than humanly possible, so just do your best.
3. The big downside of being a stay at home mom is giving up an entire person's income. It's a big decision to give up your career. My biggest advice for this hurdle, is sit down with your budget and decide what do we really need. Do we need cable and Netflix? Can I make cuts anywhere else? And there are a ton of opportunities for stay at home mom's to make a little extra cash. If you are a quick typist, consider a place like Rev.com which captions or transcribes videos. The pay isn't going to buy your way to financial success, but it can be enough to afford some extras. I would stay away from the craze of ItWorks or other jobs that require you to pay to start and rely on bothering family and friends. Maybe you can babysit for some extra money. One thing I did for a while that worked well was cleaning businesses in the evening when my husband was home to watch the kids. It's good money and not as messy as cleaning people's homes.
4. Make it fun. My kids remind me to see the adventure in every day. Sure, plenty of days we don't leave the neighborhood, but a walk down the street becomes a hunt for buried treasure. Even educational activities don't have to be a burdensome event where you beg your kid to please try to say the alphabet! Maybe that treasure was acorns we picked up on our walk and now we need to count them to see how much pirate money we have. What if I wanted to buy a new pirate had for two acorns, do I have enough? Incorporating learning into the games you are already playing means your kids are challenging themselves and loving it at the same time. Really a win-win for everyone.
5. Get out of the house! Kids get cabin fever too. There are plenty of cheap or even free places you can explore and shake up your day to day life. Museums, parks, nature trails, walking down to see the shops, basically anywhere that isn't your home will feel like a great place to explore.