Hired Hearts

She was simultaneously my best friend and biggest annoyance. I could share every secret, every dark thought or bright light that went through my head, but only with her. We supported each other in our deepest despairs. And we poked and prodded at every sore spot along the way. It’s what twins do.

Today she is simply shining in her role as a splinter in my foot, digging deeper and deeper with every step we take through our office parking lot.

“I just think you should go to that group I found for you. You haven’t been the same since last year, and I want you to feel better.” She is having trouble keeping up with my long strides. I don’t falter. “Kane, slow down! I just want you to give it a try, you never go out, it’s not healthy to hold onto all of this.” I stop. How dare she tell me what I need? We have had this discussion a multitude of times, and it always ends the same way.

“Portia, I don’t know how many times I can say I don’t want to go to a damn support group. Maybe if I wanted to wallow in misery with a bunch of morons who can’t figure out how to live any more. Sounds thrilling.” I turn to take another step, but felt her fingers grasp my wrist. Why is she forcing me? Why can’t she stop?

“Kane, please hear me-

“STOP IT!” I roared and shoved her back with my free hand. She tumbled to the ground. We both froze. I had never pushed Portia before. It’s true, we quarreled frequently. But only as siblings do. I’m not a violent person. I would never… I silently extend a hand towards her, but she crawls back towards the car parked behind her.

“Fine, wouldn’t want Miss Prissy Pants to stoop so low as to accept help from a shut-in like me.” I turn abruptly and march the rest of the way into the office.

Portia really soured my day. I had already been dreading work. My boss, Craig, had been running me ragged. And every moment I spent away from my desk, he had an opportunity to visit my sister at hers. Craig was a Grade A creep. While it was true that Portia has this charismatic glow about her, he just couldn’t seem to understand that a girl like her could never be interested in a balding 48-year-old man with a beer belly and a smoking habit. Portia is clean and beautiful- at a young 26 years old, she is our company’s first female floor manager under the age of 40. She loves animals and tutoring neighborhood kids in her free time. I shouldn’t have pushed her. I just lost control for a split second. How could I have hurt her?

“Kane, did you hear me?” I look up. I had just arrived at Craig’s office, only he isn’t in it. Miranda from down the hall is standing in the doorway.

“I’m sorry Miranda, I missed that…” Does she think I wasn’t listening because I was checking her out or something? Or maybe she thought I was just dumb. I am basically a glorified secretary after all.

“I said, there was a message from Craig that he is out sick today. He emailed you some instructions, errands to run I think.” She pauses. Is she waiting for a response? Social cues aren’t my strong suit. That’s where Portia excels. Why did I push her?

“So…are you good? I’m just dropping off this spreadsheet…can you let him know it’s in his inbox?” She pauses again. I wish I had some witty response ready. Something a man in power would say. Instead I nod and scurry back to my desk.

I power on my computer and glance up to see Portia finally make her entrance. She has clearly stopped by the restroom and pulled herself together. Her eyes sparkle and she bounces with every step. A ding from my computer pulls my focus back to my screen. There they are, instructions from my ever-loving boss.

Kane-

I’m out sick today with some sort of bug. Miranda was supposed to drop off a file for me this morning. It is very important that I get it right away. I need it here now!

C

Another delivery mission. Unfortunately, as a stock broker Craig deals with all sorts of financial security. Which means, I can’t just scan the document and send it to him. It will need to be hand delivered. He only lives a few minutes away…it shouldn’t take long. I glance at the clock. 9:20. I could be there and back before 10:00. But maybe I should go apologize to Portia first. He can wait. He deserves to wait.

I stand up and begin the journey over to her office. I’m only ten steps away from my desk when Misty pops up from her desk. Misty is our office intern but in all honesty, a baby deer would do a better job. I try to avoid her but she has planted herself directly in my path. What is this idiot’s deal?

“Kane…can I ask you a question?” That’s how it always starts. I release the breath I was holding and step over to her desk. Ten minutes later, I resume my quest to patch things up with Portia. I make my way over to her office, only to find that she isn’t there. Her whiteboard outside her door says “Meeting- back at 11:00”. I hesitate- what must she think of me after this morning? Is this something we can just talk out tonight, like all our other fights? Or does she need some sort of heroic gesture to clear the air after a heroically humiliating moment like her fall in the parking lot? A note will have to do for now. I sit at the table near her office and write.

By the third draft, it’s somewhat passable. I slide the note under her door and glance up at the clock. 9:50! Craig is going to slaughter me. I dash back to his office, grab the document and my keys, and exit the building. Portia says I drive like a maniac- like a coffee addict with a death wish. Maybe I am one. As my car veers through traffic, I watch the minutes tick by on the clock. At 9:56 I pull into Craig’s driveway. Pretty good time if I say so myself. I jog up to the door and knock.

Craig yanks open the door. “Where have you been? I’ve been calling you! I said right away!” I realize my phone was on silent and I never checked it once I got to work.

“Well here it is…” Man up Kane! This slime ball has been preying on your sister…

“You need to get back now Kane. You can’t miss anything important while I’m out today. Go!” He slams the door shut. As I get in my car fuming, I wonder what illness is plaguing him today. Half the time he stays home it’s from a hangover. He didn’t seem particularly ill.

I’m two minutes from work when I hear sirens. I pull over to the side of the road and three firetrucks and an ambulance race by me. I glance ahead and see plumes of smoke rising into the sky. From this angle, it almost looks like it’s from the office. What a wondrous thing it would be if someday Craig’s home caught on fire…I pull back onto the road, watching the black billowing wings expand. As I drive, i realize that it is from the office! I pull into the parking lot and tumble out of the car. The whole top half of the building is glowing red and coughing smoke.

Portia…

To Be Continued