Having My House Professionally Cleaned Made Me A Better Mom

I’m no Danny Tanner (for those who grew up watching Full House) when it comes to house cleaning. I have papers and notepads on every inch of my desk, dirty countertops, and the floors are full of cat hair. But despite what my parents say, my house isn’t a disaster nor a pigsty. It’s simply not up to their standards of cleanliness.

The role of motherhood comes with an immense amount of joy but also a terrible amount of guilt. Parents are under extreme pressure to be perfect including having a spic and span home.

Since becoming a working parent, a spic and span house is at the bottom of my list. But the guilt of not having sparkling appliances still eats at me. My son mom-shames me when he picks crumbs off the floor for me to throw away. Recently, we finally decided to splurge and have our house professionally cleaned.

The fridge has never looked shinier, not an ounce of crumbs on the countertops, and hairless floors (for about 2 minutes until I let the cats out of the room). I’ve always been frugal and never felt the need to spend money on things I could do myself. Having my house professionally cleaned was a luxury that I could never afford.

At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

I thought I would be filled with guilt after the cleaners left. But having my house cleaned by someone other than myself or my husband has surprisingly made me a better parent.

A huge weight is lifted off of me

When the house is sparking clean and tidy, it’s much easier to maintain that level of cleanliness. A quick wipe and a swift vacuum job will do the trick. Plus I just want to keep the house cleaner. Maintaining a clean oven is less overwhelming than cleaning a dirty one from scratch.

Wiping the counters is nothing but when you add on vacuuming, dusting, laundry, toilet scrubbing — it becomes overwhelming.

But now, cleaning the house doesn’t feel like such a chore. That’s a huge shift in mindset because when tasks don’t feel like an obligation, you’re much motivated to get them done. And those small tasks still amount to having a clean house. Parenting is full of joy but also full of obligations. Having the house professionally cleaned has been a huge weight off my shoulders.

It eases my mind

My son is now 2 years old which means he’s putting everything in his mouth (like the cat’s tail) and licking everything. As much as I try to keep the house as clean as possible, he seems to find cracks and crevices that I didn’t even know existed. And those unnoticed cracks and crevices are DIRTY AF! Dust, water, bacteria! Ugh! The thought of all those germs going into his little body makes me sick. I’m not a clean freak but he definitely should not be licking the pipe behind the toilet (just kidding — he hasn’t done that…yet).

My mind is so scattered some days. The details of everyday life can monopolize a lot of brain power especially as a working mom. Having my house cleaned helps ease my mind that my little monkey won’t get sick without me knowing what caused it. He may have a strong stomach but if he’s going to be licking that toilet pipe, I’d rather it be sparkling clean.

It’s a form of self-care

There aren’t that many things I’m willing to spend on. A professionally cleaned house was a luxury I didn’t think I could afford. I’ve always been taught to be self-sufficient so if I can do it myself, why pay someone to do it for me?

But having someone clean my house doesn’t mean I’m not self-sufficient. It means I’m finally learning to take care of myself. Being a working mother has its tolls. If I’m not working then I’m taking care of my son. Even when I do have some time for myself, some of that time is spent cleaning or grocery shopping. Not until after the chores are done that I can feel at ease about spending time on myself, mostly in the form of writing.

All parents need to take the time for self-care regardless of whether you’re working or stay-at-home. Being a parent, there aren’t a lot of luxuries I will spend on myself nor is there a lot of time to myself. While having my son is a great joy in my life, I miss both those things. So when I’m able to find something that will reduce my stress level and provide a benefit to the family, I’m definitely going to sing its praises.

I can only do what I can do

Unfortunately, there’s a lot of judgement from others when it comes to parenting. This belief that we need to do everything perfectly as a parent makes it much harder to ask for help. I still find it hard to admit that I need help but I can only do so much.

Moms are really just human beings disguised as superheroes.

We always fill our plates but they don’t always have to be full. Sometimes, the best option is to give away what’s on our plate especially when we’re already stuffed to the brim.

Final thoughts

As a working parent, I’m often wearing myself thin and trying to do too many things at once. And if I can’t accomplish the things I set out to do, I take myself on a big guilt trip. But as a parent, the most important thing I can do is to be present for my kid. Even though this is the first time we’ve had our house professionally cleaned, it won’t be our last.

Sacrifice is an element of parenting that we accept once a child comes into this world. In order to give the best to our children, we need to sacrifice a part of ourselves.

But what if we didn’t have to sacrifice anything?

We can take back our time and decrease our stress as parents. All we need to do is give ourselves permission to do so.

Hiring someone to clean my house doesn’t make me a bad parent. Trying to do it all makes me a bad parent. The time spent doing chores I hate means less time to spend with my son or writing. When we spend time doing something we hate, we become the worst version of ourselves. If paying $150 allows me to be more present and engaged with my son for 2 weeks and gives me time to write, I consider that money well spent.

This story was originally published on Medium.