Happy Birthday Jill

I want to begin by wishing my big sister Jill a very happy 58th birthday.🎈 My sister has Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD), which is a highly genetic form of dementia. She has had this disease for a few years now. My mother also had this disease. Jill's health has deteriorated over this year but that is the way this horrible disease works. Every year gets a little worse. Fortunately, she still recognizes all her family and close friends and for this I am thankful. I don’t think she will understand that it is her birthday but our family will still celebrate it with her and try to make it a happy day.

Jill’s daughter will go out of her way to decorate, have all kinds of snacks and, of course, a birthday cake. Jill will be dressed beautifully, her hair and her nails will be done and, of course, she will be wearing her favorite jewelry thanks to her husband and children. Everyone will take her presents, most of which will be candy, because we all know that’s what Jill loves most now. We will all do our best to make sure Jill has a nice day even though we all know how much she is suffering. I’m sure people with family members who are also suffering from FTD and similar diseases will understand.

I know there is no gift that I can buy her that will make her excited and happy like she would feel on the birthdays when she wasn't suffering from this disease. Jill always loved getting clothes, jewelry and anything "sparkly" for her birthday but she no longer gets excited about anything at all. As everyone gets older they realize that birthday parties aren't about the presents anyhow, they are about getting together with your family and friends. But I consider this a wonderful day because she is still with us and her family and friends love her so very much.

I remember all the good times and birthday parties we celebrated throughout the years. My mother always had fun parties for my sisters and I when we were children and she even made sure we at least had a birthday cake when we were adults. Jill was always such a popular girl who was the "life of the party" anywhere she went. She loved to have a good time. I wish so badly to have those days back.

April 25, 1963, will always be one of the greatest days to me. It was the day my big, sweet, wonderful, fun-loving, party animal of a sister was born! I wasn’t born yet, but I have seen the pictures. She looked just like my dad, a little Italian girl with almond-shaped eyes, an olive skin tone and black curly hair! She was born Jill Marie Anderson. My dad often called her "Jilly Willy." Actually, he still does, trying to get her to smile. She was an absolutely adorable baby. She was a quiet, reserved girl when she was young but as she got older she really loved to socialize, party and dance!

I wanted to write this article as my way of comemorating this special day because it is special even if she can no longer understand it. I tell her, I hug her and I show my excitement but she looks at me with a blank stare. She also likes to twist my wrists and give me a few pokes and pinches but I’m sure I deserve it because when we were young she was so gentle and I was the "not so gentle" one. But that is okay Jill, I understand. I want to try to make her birthday special even though I will never know for sure what she is thinking. Even if she feels just one ounce of happiness then it is worth it. One thing my sister does still enjoy is chocolate cake with peanut butter icing so I am hoping that will bring her some joy. Just like with my mother when she had this horrible disease...I will try my hardest to make Jill feel happy until there is absolutely, positively no chance left at all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILL...Your family and friends love you and we are thankful that God gave you another birthday!🎈🎂❤️