Fussy Little Eaters

I'm no expert when it comes to food, but I have weaned two little boys and I have learnt a few lessons along the way.

My two boys could not be more different to each other when it comes to most things and food is no exception. When I had my oldest, I literally couldn't wait to start weaning him. I waited for the signs and he was ready at just over four months.

I started with the vegetables but he pulled his nose up at nearly everything I gave him. I kept on giving him a mixture of warm and cold, mashed and finger food and mostly savoury at first. Besides the initial expressions of distaste, he took to food like a duck to water. Then, he got eczema when he was five months old.

We soon discovered that he had an intolerance for cow's milk and so we changed his formula. But to my greatest disappointment, he also suddenly stopped eating most things we dished up.

He didn't want to try new food and ate only a very specific brand of store bought food. We also discovered that he is allergic to egg, strawberries, kiwi fruit, and nuts. Going out for meals turned out to be a nightmare because you can never be sure of what is in the kitchen when food is being prepared.

My youngest has no allergies and will practically eat anything. He will stuff his cheeks with broccoli and is known for grabbing his brother's plate and polishing his untouched food which usually ends up in my oldest crying.

Lessons I have learnt from weaning two boys who have been introduced to food in the same way but ended up having very different diets.

Keep putting it on their plate.

When they don't like vegetables, keep putting it on their plate. I know lots of moms will highly recommend hiding it. I certainly have a lot of hiding going on when it comes to our meals, but I also keep giving them individual types of vegetables. One day, my oldest son surprised me when he suddenly started eating the baby carrots on his plate and even asked for more. I didn't make too much of a deal about it although I was shouting with joy on the inside!

Sometimes manipulation is key.

We have a rule that you don't have to like food but it's always good to try it. I have a terrible confession to make. Once I was so fed up with my oldest refusing food that when he cried, I shoved a spoon full of cottage pie loaded with veg in his mouth! Terrible I know and I really wouldn't recommend it because it was mean but it worked. He cried a bit more until he realised that it was really nice and then he sucked on it for a while before swallowing it. I put the plate down and said: "Well done! You've tried it and you don't have to eat it. But, do you like it?" He nodded yes. I asked if he wanted more and he nodded yes. I then explained that if he never tried it he would never have known how nice it was.

Sometimes my husband and pretend to whisper something to each other which is meant to fall on little ears. Don't ever think that those ears miss anything that is said. So we will have conversations like this:

"Daddy, do you think that he is ready for dinosaur food or do you think we should hide it from him?"

"I don't know. I think we should hide it from him for a bit longer." At this point my son came running in and said "I want dinosaur food!" We explained that broccoli was trees and the reason it looked so small was because he was now such a big boy. He tried it and didn't like it so we didn't push it and praised him for being so brave anyway.

Another one of our tricks is to pretend that he can't have any. I will set the table and say to my husband "Hm, would you like some of this yummy food?"

He would answer yes and ask if my son could have some and I would say "I don't think he would like this yummy food." He almost always says he would like some of the yummy food and we then ask if he's sure because if he is, he is welcome to have some.

Whenever my oldest son says he doesn't want his food, we say: "It's fine, we will eat it then or give to your brother." He usually jumps to eat his food.

The latest is that we pretend that we can see how he's growing as he is eating his food. We told him that if he doesn't eat his food he might grow smaller and then he has to swap clothes with his younger brother. Being a competitive little boy, he wants to be the biggest and he will eat almost anything to avoid growing smaller. Usually when he eats we tell him that we can see how he is growing. We even showed him photos of when he was a baby and told him that he had only grown so much because he is such a great eater.

Let go of food mess.

Another thing my oldest hated was touching food of different textures. He always liked porridge but the day he finally squished it between his fingers was the day he started asking for seconds.

In my husband's culture, it's normal to eat with your hands. Breaking food like bread and cheese and dipping it into sauces and olive oil is done without a second glance. In my culture however, kids are expected to eat with cutlery and eating with your hands is slightly frowned upon.

The day I embraced the fact that my kids are in fact half Eastern European, I stopped making a fuss about them eating with their hands and this has contributed to them enjoying their food more. My oldest son will tell me when he's made a mess because he knows I would like to clean it up but I don't make a fuss over it and he never gets told off for it either.

Set an example.

Kids will model your eating patterns. If they don't see you eating vegetables, they won't eat it. If they constantly see you eat fruit and veg, then they will want to copy the behaviour.

When my husband or I don't like a specific type of food that is on the table, we will still offer it to each other. Instead of saying that we don't like it, we will say that we're full or that we will get some later. If children know that their parents don't like something it gives them an instant excuse to opt out of trying it. As I said already, I don't expect them to like everything, but I encourage them to try everything.

I know it's easy to say but I try to eat with my kids when they're eating rather than having my food when they go to bed. They learn that eating is part of a social culture and that it's something that all people do and not just something that is expected of them to do. It's also good for them to see that food can be enjoyed.

On a practical note, sometimes they don't know how a specific food should be eaten. If they see how you eat the dish that's on their plate, they are more likely to follow in your footsteps.

Make food fun.

At some point my oldest son stopped eating bananas. Then I saw a friend cut it into wheels so I tried it. I gave him a plate of fruit and said, "hey check out these banana wheels!" He loved it and to this day he asks for banana wheels.

Cut the crap.

If they see you eat rubbish, then they will want it too. I don't know how we have managed this, but my kids don't like burgers or fries even though I lived on burgers as staple food before I had kids and still eat it whenever I enjoy a meal out without the kids.

I never added any sugar to porridge although sometimes I will add a tiny bit of honey and cinnamon to our porridge. When it comes to chocolate, we never banned it but my clever husband came up with the idea to introduce them to the very dark bitter chocolate which is practically ninety percent cocoa, first. Now they both think it's a massive treat and it's the healthiest version we could possibly give them.

Neither of them like jelly sweets or marshmallows. Every day they are served a plate of selected fruit for snacks.

I know some parents don't allow their kids to eat anything besides what is served as a meal. If my kids want porridge for dinner, they can have it. In my experience and with my kids, (and I know it is different for other children) this has lead to my son being less fussy rather than more fussy.

Involve them in preparation where possible.

I know there are more limits to this than opportunities while they are toddlers, but I allow my son to stir the porridge or butter his own bread and he is also allowed to help feed his brother.

Being involved gives them a sense of purpose and when they feel that they are contributing to a meal, they are more likely to try it.

Always have a good selection of snacks and rotate them often.

Who wants to eat the same food every day? Certainly not me! I have found that if you change snacks often enough, they look forward to seeing something when it's on the menu again.

Also, if I know my son really loves something specific, next time I will add one vegetable or spice to it that I didn't have in there before to slowly start getting him to try new things.

Always have something familiar on the plate when introducing new food.

I have found that introducing too many new things within a short space of time is overwhelming for their developing senses. Trying one or two new things per week with other familiar food on their plates is like have a pacifier. It really does work!

Both my boys love olives. Although I avoid giving it to them often because it's so salty, I like serving it when we are trying something new. They usually stick the olives on their fingers and play monster!

Kids seem keen to try food they see other kids eating.

Whenever we visit friends, I've noticed that my son is open to trying new things that he sees other kids eat. I then go and buy or make whatever he tried and give it to him while he still remembers eating it at so and so's house. This works really well when you know that other children eat vegetables.

I also talk to them about visiting the friend while serving the food to remind them that they ate it together.

Keep them hydrated.

I've noticed that they eat better when they're hydrated. They also tend not to be so grumpy and it prevents constipation.

Pick the best time for meals.

We have our breakfast at 8am. This is within an hour after they wake up but not the first thing they do either. We have two hours between meals and snacks and they usually sleep first before they have their lunch.

They don't go to bed on an empty stomach but usually wake up happy and hungry.

I'm sure there are many more great tips but these are the things that have worked for us. Good luck!