Fruits of Life

I remember now it was about fifty years ago today, it was a beautiful hot summer day in August.  I wanted to spend time with the love of my life, Mari.  We walked and talked holding hands like two teenagers on a very first date. The heat was getting unbearable we needed to find some shade, so from a distance, we saw a beautiful and shapely pear tree perfect to give us some shade.  We talked for hours under that pear tree.  We lost track of time just talking about life, love, and our future.  Mari was just 18 years old and I was 20.  Mari wished that someday she would be married with 3 children living overseas. We were a perfect match.  We could finish each other's sentences without even trying. Mari wanted to have three children but I only wanted a boy and a girl.  She laughed and we both smiled and we agreed on three children.  Many years passed and we never got married, she went off to college in Paris.  I couldn't tell her don't go, it was a dream of hers.  Who was I to kill her dreams, she spoke fluent french so Mari was in heaven.  We both tried to keep in touch but our distance between us was not helping.  On few occasions, we tried to get together for our birthdays, and all the major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We tried talking on the phone, but those phone bills really added up over time.  We wrote many letters of passion and how much we missed each other.  But as you have it time and the distance wasn't on our side.  Four years passed, and it was time for our school's graduation, but she wanted to stay in Paris.  Again how could I tell her no, she loved Paris and all its culture and the food, the food was all Mari talked about.  I was offered a big job here in my hometown of Boston.  I couldn't pass this job offer up, they even gave me a signing bonus.  I told Mari, and she didn't want me to turn it down and she made it clear that she was not moving back to Boston anytime soon.  We still kept in touch, but the letters came very few over the years.  Even on our birthdays and major holidays, we didn't get together.  I was seeing somebody but not serious until I found out that Mari was seeing someone else too.  We tried to be faithful for many years, even my close friends said why.  I told them I was in love with Mari.  But they all said I was a fool for wasting my time and hers as well.  We both knew it, but I guess we both were in denial.  One day I received that letter that changed everything, she said she was getting married.  I nearly fainted from the blood rushing out of my head.  But I knew this day would come eventually, we both knew it.  I wanted Mari to be happy and she was.  Although I dated for a while, my heart was still for Mari.  I couldn't let her go, but I knew in my heart I had to. Mari's big wedding was to take place in Paris, how romantic was that.  I couldn't believe it my Mari was getting married and it wasn't me.  How painful was that, I tried to keep myself busy the week of the wedding trying not to think about losing Mari forever.  My heart was broken, and I didn't know what to do, we had plans to be married and have our three kids.  How did we get to this point in our lives when we had so much magic together, yes Mari and I had magic in every way. But I knew I had to let her go despite my love for her. My two sisters said I should have gone to Paris many years ago. Tell her how much I love her and asked for her hand in marriage. I guess I was afraid of making that commitment still so young myself. I guess it was not meant to be my Mari was getting married. Many years passed and she had her first child and then two more children came a few more years after that. I never married, I came close but never went the distance.  I guess I am an old fool, no wife and no children. Life seemed to just pass me by and I can't believe it's been fifty years ago today. I sometimes sit underneath that old pear tree and often think of my Mari. I wished I had asked Mari to marry me many years ago. But I didn't and I regret that to this day. Thank you Mari for the memories and the love we shared. I'm glad all your dreams came true and I'll always love you today, tomorrow, and forever.