For the Domestic Abuse Survivor Single Moms

This is for the single mom who, after finally fighting the system to keep herself and her kid(s) safe, is safe. This is for the mom who has no support system close to her, has a real fear of anyone watching her kid(s), and is just trying to survive. What do you do? What do you do when the people who you thought were your family turn out to be just as evil and sadistic as the person you married. What do you do when that support system, the ONLY support system, ends up burning down to the ground. What do you do when you have made every effort to kid(s) safe and you have successfully done it but are left with the emotional and mental distresses of what the abusive spouse did to either you, your kid(s), or even both? What happens when you have a mental break at work and they fire you without any warning? When you are now daily trying to make ends meet, on your own?

People from the outside looking in see you as lazy and incompetent, when all your trying to do is find that right job. When you say you have no one to watch your kid(s), you're not exaggerating, you honestly have no one. When you can't work nights for the safety of your kid(s), and would like to have at least one weekend day off to spend it with them. You don't have time to party, I mean, you don't really have the time or money for "you" time. All you want to do is find something, anything, or anyone that's willing to just give you a chance. You post online and people offer suggestion after suggestion. No, there are no daycares that take all kids, the daycares here only run Monday through Friday, and the oldest they take is up to age five or six. The local YMCA can take all your kids and you qualify for assistance for it, but your oldest who's autistic, will be left to her own means since they don't monitor the children once they are in junior high.

"Well, it sounds like to me you're just being difficult. EVERYONE has someone."

There it is, another slap in the face, and now you're curled up on your bed sobbing, because you just feel like you're failing at everything. No, Social Media Karen, everyone DOES NOT have someone. Some of us had to cut the people who, after being shown the evidence of the horrendous crimes your spouse had done, was still was on that spouse's side and put you and your kid(s) in danger. They wanted it just swept under the rug and pretend that it never happened. Social Media Karen can't even begin to fathom the nights that you stayed up with a frightened kid, soothing them, telling them that that abusive parent wasn't coming back, that they were finally safe. Social Media Karen can't understand how every day, you get up and fight will all those insecurities and fears of the 'What ifs' that your mind wants to constantly play in your head.

"Oh, that's just nonsense."

It isn't nonsense when you and your kid(s) are in therapy every week and the District Attorney has all the paperwork documenting the abuse. It isn't nonsense when you have a kid(s) that hates you for no reason after you did everything that could do the minute you found out. It isn't nonsense when you are trying with all your might, but it seems like there is wall after wall in front of everything it seems.

You, dear momma, are trying. Day after day, minute after minute, second after second. You.Are.Trying. Those on the outside may not see it, but for the ones that are there, that have been there, we see it.