Filling the void within

Watching and observing over my life the way others collect things or have a need to spend money on things, stuff, bargains that aren’t bargains if you don’t need them, the need to constantly own more stuff when there is already too much stuff, no space left vacant, has been a learning curve for me and also interesting, it has left me wondering.

Do we collect things out of joy or a need to fill a void or hole within us?

Is it to fill a need that the person isn’t aware of? for example a denial of something as a child and an in the moment unconscious decision that says when I’m old enough I will have lots of them because you can’t stop me.

Or is it because we believe that someday it will be worth money?

I know many people, collectors who do it for the joy it brings them and they proudly display the collection for all to see. But these are not the ones I am referring to though they still possibly are filling a void and they are also usually aware of it and the potential investment that they hold.

I honestly only have reflections, but from my observations of what I have seen and experienced firsthand, it’s the first one trying to fill a gap in your life. But being completely unaware of what that gap is. The collecting or filling the space around you, the space you live in the cupboards the closets, under the beds, in the corners, behind the couches, the freezers or the garage and then the outside undercover areas. The need to fill up any open space on the table or the couch, on the kitchen benches or even the bedroom floor is to an outsider an obsession.

To have stuff everywhere for the sake of having stuff and not doing anything with it but shoving it away in a shed or cupboard seems to be trying to fill a void.

From what I have observed there is a lack of something that you deny yourself. Something you haven’t received in the past and you had an emotional connection to the feeling of having stuff. It's like trying to look outside of yourself for validation and answers you won't find and then getting angry when you can't find what you need. This filling up of your space to try and fill your inner void is very much the same. Whatever space is within that you don’t want to look at you don’t want to see is the only place you can fill the inner void. Nothing else can give the same sense of belonging or fill that need to fit in if you don’t fill it yourself. One of the feng shui principles is you have to make space to allow new experiences or people to come into your life. You have to have open space for energy to move.

Things like keeping a clear table, or an empty pot or vase on display, not blocking your front door with a pile of shoes that can kick the energy back out are ways to allow the energy of change to enter.

Stuffing your empty space with stuff is not going to allow the changes to occur, maybe that’s exactly why some people do it they don’t like change they can’t change because it’s scary not knowing the outcome of the unknown.

Decluttering is a term that is used a lot now it’s used for feelings, space clearing, thoughts, workspaces etc but it’s exactly what needs to happen to shift the stuff by decluttering you clear out the old energy you can think clearer and you feel lighter.

You create space!

A number of years ago my husband and I found ourselves in a situation where we had to get rid of almost everything we owned. Storing it all wasn't an option we didn't have the money flow to pay for storage and we honestly didn't know where we were going to live. the emotional rollercoaster began I tried to separate out stuff from emotional stuff it didn't work. In the end, I had to let go. Things like family photos went to a family member for safe keeping but most of the rest just had to go, it was the most devasting and freeing thing ai have ever or could ever do. By doing this we created room for change. this allows you to begin to see who you are and why you want to gather so much stuff. for me, it was security and family/ societal conditioning that says if you have stuff your successful in some twisted way I believed it.

Yet here we had been with all this stuff and still lost a home and work things didn't add up. So I began to question myself every time I wanted to own something. is it because I really need it or do I want it because I believe it will make something feel right in my life? Here we were even 2yrs later with no work and not able to get any and the feeling of needing stuff surfacing. Living in a very small space encroaching on other family members because we didn't have the means to pay for our own space. essentially we were the guests that didn't leave and we hated it. so my obsession turned to studying and trying to figure myself out after all I must be broken if this has happened to us. gathering spiritual skills that would not and have not served me in any way. this pattern has continued til now 4 yrs later my husband did find work and I'm happy to say we didn't accumulate too much stuff, not even furniture. having o furniture though means you can't live in your own place.

This has led to many inner conflicts of sharing a house with someone else vs living on our own so I ask myself what is it I really need?

What is it we really need? the answer came with less responsibility at what should now be retirement age. I share this story to shine a little different light on why for some people things can become an obsession to collect or clutter up the space with.

I'm not judging or finger-pointing but observing that in myself so much of it was about self-worth and not feeling good enough. I wasn't a hoarder or over the top without any clear space but i am guilty of buying my grandies way to much stuff essentially trying to buy their affection. this was a realisation for me and a turning point. I have in the past 4 yrs been surrounded by others who are over the top compulsive hoarder's something I am very aware of if I begin to want too much art stuff.

For me personally, at this time I am again challenged as the shared house we live in is decluttering and becoming more minimalistic I notice how cluttered our room really is and how I have far too much stuff.

It is again time to dive deeper into why this has happened.

I can only say from my energetic experience that living in minimalist spaces is much better for your health and wellbeing, it helps me think clearer and breath easier. It's certainly easier to keep clean and it feels more relaxing to me. it definitely gives you more freedom if you have to move and it feels energetically like you're not carrying excess baggage around, you can relax and enjoy your space.

Living in spaces stuffed full of stuff is keeping things bottled up or stuffed down, for me it's my way of hiding from the real world! Keeping the feeling hidden under everything, keeping yourself buried under everything.

Looking at the emotion attached to the thing is a good starting point. Looking at that will begin a process of gaining clarity if you really want to look at why you have so much stuff. It also helps you begin to understand why you aren't receiving the things you really want in your life.

If it's an unconscious thing then the person isn’t even aware of it. I have heard many times things like no this is just lived in this is how a home looks, or this is the way a shed is supposed to be. The closet is always stuffed that’s where everything lives that's how the cupboards are supposed to be, everyone has stuff they don't or won't ever use one day you might need it.

It doesn’t have to be this way chances are if you haven't used it or enjoyed it in the past year you don't need it and its time to let it go

This could also be a learned habit that has been placed on you by an authority figure in your early life.

It can be a pattern that once aware of you can shift and let go of very quickly if this resonates with you in any way then you are ready to begin the process of letting go and learning what it is you need to fill your inner void.

These are my reflections and loose experiences they are absolutely not answers but maybe a few suggestions or food for thought if you or someone you know has stuff they really don't need but won't let go of. Just to acknowledge here that I'm not talking about the compulsive type that really does need support from someone to be able to let go of clutter and hoarding but the average person who just won't let go and is searching for something to fill the inner void.