by Lanique Ruffin 17 days ago in advice

We're all we got


Growing up as a little girl, I remember all those fun summer nights I had spending time with my sisters and my cousins. We would go to the parks together, to the stores, play in front of the house and once we became a little older, we even started going out together. Basically, we were all extremely close. We were so close that when you seen one of us, you knew the rest weren't that far behind. This went on for years. We were almost inseparable.

As time went on and we became much older, I began to notice that things started to change. We all still hung out but not as much as we did before. It's not because we didn't love each other. Life happened and it hit us hard.

We all started our own families so we never really had time to spend with each other. To be honest, the only time we were actually seeing each other is when we had a family gathering or when someone passed away in the family. Actually, a recent loss in our family is what prompted me to write this today.

My uncle passed away recently. Now don't get me wrong, we've hold other family members pass away and it shook my family to the core. For me though, something about this one was different.

Once the news hit that he had passed away, I instantly went numb. I brushed it off as, maybe it just didn't hit me yet or maybe my numbness is the reason why I didn't cry. I love my uncle with all my heart so I just couldn't understand why there was no reaction from me emotionally. It was like this for me up to the day of the funeral.

The day of the funeral, I still felt numb and emotionless. Even though I felt this way, I knew it was a reason why but I just couldn't figure it out. I started thinking, what's wrong with me? I should be hurt by this like everyone else but I'm not. Little did I know, once I stepped foot in that funeral home and the services started, I would realize what was wrong.

So I walked into the funeral home, spoke to all my family that had arrived and took my seat. The entire time I am in my seat, I'm looking around the room. There were a lot of people there but for some reason, my focus was only on my immediate family. I was looking at all the sadness in the room and it slowly started to hit me.

One of my older cousins stood up and spoke on her memories of our uncle. One of those memories involved a video game that he gave her and we would play it together all the time. Next, her mom stood up and basically put the icing on the cake with her story. I can't remember all of her exact words but the part I do remember, it made my feelings clear.

My aunt said something like, "you never know which day may be your last , so keep your loved ones close. I know everyone is into facebook but you should still make sure you text or call your loved ones and let them know you love them". I now knew why I felt the way I did. Out of nowhere, my emotions hit me hard.

The reason this loss had me so numb is because it made me realize how divided my family had become. I could only see my immediate family in the room because they're the part of me that's missing. My uncle passing made me realize that enough is enough of us coming together for funerals, enough of not talking for days, weeks or months at a time...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone needs to hold themselves accountable for the reason why there's distance amongst the family. At some point we've all lost sight of the things that matter outside of our own personal lives. Of course we have our own families and that's the main priority but you can not let those things stand in the way of staying connected with the rest of your family. Something as simple as sending a text message goes a long way.

You can't keep sitting around constantly putting off why you're not connecting with your family. While your're sitting around thinking you have all the time in the world to reach out, someone else may be running out of time to live.

Cherish and make time for the ones you hold near and dear to your heart, before time makes you realize what you had but by then, it may be too late.

Lanique Ruffin
Lanique Ruffin
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Lanique Ruffin

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