Family Dynamic

One of the most important things, if not "the" most important thing in life, is family. I enjoy learning and experiencing the different atmospheres and systems each family has built generation after generation. The rules of life vary through multiple cultures, sizes, ethnicities, and locations. However, the way you and your family operate is neither good or bad, but it is the most beautiful thing in the world because it's your family. There are definitely troubles, heartache, distance, and other things that happen, but you have to always stick together. In my family, I make it a point and emphasize that no matter what we are a team and it doesn't matter how mad we get at each other we will not stop having contact with each other or stop loving each other. Find the joy and peace in your family and you will realize you don't have to look at someone else's family and make it #familygoals.

The difference between each family and how that's a good thing.

Whether you're in a romantic relationship or friendship, both families will cross points at some point. I've had plenty of friends who have allowed me to come over when I was a child and sometimes I would envy the house they had or the things they had and would be ungrateful with the things I had. I've been in relationships where when I meet the other family, I tried to make it seem like I was raised a certain way that would be appealing to them, not knowing the difference between just being respectful and staying true to myself. I didn't understand that the dynamic my family had and how I was raised was the reason they liked me and enjoyed my company in the first place. If you find yourself in a position where others are ashamed or aren't as accepting of your family as you are of theirs, then you have to evaluate the relationship. The great thing about having different families in your life is being exposed to different ways of life and a larger network to share experiences with. Embrace the unknown, new people and just because something is different doesn't mean it's a threat.

Leaving the Nest

So many people are in such a rush to separate. Kids want to hurry and leave when they turn eighteen, parents are ready to kick them out at eighteen. Though there is a certain time to depart from your immediate family and being your new phase of life even if it is at eighteen, don't be in such a rush that you miss out on moments with each of your family members. Appreciate each relationship you have with them, because as you grow and evolve, the relationships evolve as well. Recently, I have been in a mental and emotional prison with the idea that I was responsible for being a caretaker for my family as if I was the parent when I was only just a child/growing young man myself. That isn't my responsibility to worry and micromanage my families lives as if I knew best. Instead of cherishing other moments and actually enjoying just being there for them I tried to force it. So if you are in a situation where you are fed up with something or it feels like you want something so bad for your loved ones and they don't get what you're saying, don't take it personally and don't let that tear you down. Instead, realize that with growth comes pain and when you do separate, you think of what did you do to get the most out of the love of your family and in what way can we form a greater connection with our new lives.

Communication is key in family and relationships. What a close family does is communicate and express the ways they feel in whatever form that has been fitting for their dynamic. When it boils down to it in any relationship you are in and within your family when things get tough, when they have concerns, or if they want to support you or spend time with you they will step up to the plate and show you how much they care about you.