Estrangement between a mother and adult child.

"Estrangement" This subject is not easy to talk about for anyone that is going through it. But there are thousands of parents dealing with this growing trend every day. I am about to share my story with you in hopes that you find that you are not alone. If? You are presently going through this you have an idea of what I am about to say. Most parents that are estranged from an adult child have had no explanation for why. Most go on for years with no contact whatsoever. This seems to become a trend these days. Our new generation of young people thinks this is the way you are allowed to treat your parents.

I am a product of the 60s. I was raised to respect your parents and their rules as a child and as an adult. I came from a mid-class home Italian/Irish family raised in a south suburb of Chicago. A family of five children three girls and one boy. I am being the youngest. Like all families around that time we all sat down for dinner every night. We were a tight-knit family You were never late because dinner time was always around six pm. As all of us grew older we remind a close family.

I was a single mother of two beautiful girls. I raise my two girls in the same way of life as I was raised. Dinner was sitting at a table it was a time after a busy day to talk. I was the mother that went to every school event, soccer practice, and games. Brought them to every doctor, dentist appointment. I was there every day. The estrangement from my youngest daughter came as a shock to me.

I will not use her name in this article. She is in her middle 20s and had moved to another state for a job. About a year and a half are when she told her older sister she needed to take a break from me. Never telling me directly, but she needed no contact for a while. That was going on three years ago. No phone calls no visit's nothing. Even after her sister died after years of battling brain cancer. She did not even bother to come to the service, because I would be present.

When this whole thing began three years ago, I would cry every day. The thoughts of why were never answered. This is a common thread with most or all parents that are dealing with estrangement. Parents start to question themselves about their parenting skills. I told a few people about the estrangement. Some close friends and family. I was embarrassed. Most people knew me as being a good person and a great mom. Not understanding how a child could do this thing to a parent. I thought that I was the only parent that was going through this.

Then one day I was listing to a radio station and caught a tail end of an interview. The subject was "Parents estranged for their adult children." I had to look it up to hear the entire interview. The lady that was being interview was herself being estranged from her son for years. She had written a book telling about her own experience with estrangement. She also did her research on the subject. Her research was of 900 parents that volunteered to share their experience for her book. I quickly wrote the title to the book and ordered it online. The book was "Done with the crying": Help and Healing for Mothers of estranged adult children " By Sherri McGregor. This book changed my life! Not only did I not feel alone it gave me the tools to deal with the estrangement.

When an estrangement happens it commonly starts with the child. No explanation! This causes great pain for the parents. The parents have no I idea what sparked the drift between them. They are left with dealing with the heartache of loss of a child. The Estranged child often alienates other family members such as siblings

It has been over three years since the estrangement had begun. I have not heard of seen my only daughter since then. My emotions have gone from heartache, lost, longing and pure hatred.

The other issues parents must deal with in an estrangement is: Future grandchildren they will never meet or watch them grow up. Their child will cut them out of their lives. Most block them from all media outlets. I blocked my daughter on Facebook only because I did not want to have a consent reminder that I was not a part of her life. At this point in the estrangement I have decided that it is best for me to never have her in my life. I cannot find it in my heart to forgive her. This all maybe all part of the healing process. Time will tell.