Drugs, Violence and Self Harm—the Truth That Comes with Having a Teenage Boy in 2018

At 20 when I fell pregnant with my son; I thought life with him would be Tonka Cars, sand pits and video games

It was...

Until age 13 came. In fact secondary school came. Other boys, desperate to become the pack leaders—never worried about who they’ll stamp out along the way. Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in children ‘finding their own place’ and ‘learning from their mistakes,’ but when those ‘mistakes’ become life-altering? I am the first mum in the queue with something to say.

Why do I feel like the only mum who knows where her son is? I know where he was for the first two weeks of the summer holidays; in Spain with his three sisters, my partner and I. The last two weeks...at home in front of the PS4.

Two years ago I would have said was ‘go out and enjoy the sun and get off that console.' Now? Now he is home and safe; not at the park where the children are using laughing gas for highs, or smoking weed and drinking cheap vodka. Not being stabbed whilst walking through the local park or mugged for his bike two minutes from home. Boys no longer fight for bravado, they fight to harm and it is violent and callous. Heads are stamped on, bones are broken and skin is punctured.

Now I get to worry about his mental health and the impact of isolation and lack of face to face social skills. Great. Thanks.

Don’t get me wrong—my 6ft tall, size 11 trainer wearing, won’t cross brand, nearly 15 year old has fallen at hurdles. ‘Guilty by association’ is what his head teacher called it. Popular, good looking and a joker. What many boys aspire to be. But no, it isn’t enough now. Be the one who carries a weapon, the one who sells the drugs, the one who can cause the most harm in a fight, can cut and make the deepest scars. What happened to kicking a ball around a field, climbing trees, riding bikes and swimming in the river?

By my own admission, I have made my boy too hot to find him involved in the dangerous things that go on. I AM and always will be that mum that strides down the local rec and breaks up theor parties, calls every parent and occasionally the law. Turns out not so many teenagers want someone around who’s mum is a tad ‘nuts’ 🥜🤪 so have I isolated him? Am I the reason that he still feels low and feels he doesn’t have a strong place at school?