Cultivate a child with a strong heart and give him these psychological nutrients from an early age.

But often do not know how to take care of.

Some mother said that the child loves to cry, you say a few words to him, began to cry, can not bear a bit of frustration.

A mother said that the child was timid and did not dare to sleep alone when he was in primary school.

Some children are so clingy that they dare not go out and play with other children by themselves.

……

In the process of raising children, we all encounter some such troubles.

Is this the child's lack of sense of security?

What can be done so that children can have a strong heart to face the setbacks and pressures brought about by the world?

How can children learn to move forward in the face of adversity? ?

Before answering these questions, parents must first see if they have taken care of their children's sense of security.

A few days ago, a friend said that he took his four-year-old son to learn to swim and wanted the child to be brave.

But unexpectedly, the child became more timid, and now he dared not even get into the water.

He said he blamed himself for being too impatient that day.

After several contacts, the child has been able to play alone on the swimming ring for a while.

At that time, he had a whim and felt that it could not always be like this. He had to force the child to be brave and learn faster.

So he coaxed the child into the water, didn't take the swimming ring, and said he would protect the child.

But midway but deliberately let go, want to practice the child's courage, the result let the child choke a few mouthfuls of water.

Did not expect that the child will not go into the water, no matter how the father coaxed, it did not work, do not know what to do. ?

Speaking of swimming, I also accompanied Xiaoyu to swim.

I still remember that he didn't dare to go into the water at that time. I showed him a demonstration and promised him that Dad would hold you and take your time.

He opened his guard little by little and followed me into the water.

I am not in a hurry to let him learn to swim, first let him play happily in the water, let him feel that his environment is safe, that adults can be trusted.

Because for a child, absolutely reliable, can protect his parents, or other important caregivers, is an important cornerstone of the formation of sense of security, and sense of security is also the most important psychological nutrition.

In this respect, parents are not allowed to joke or test at will.

It is relatively easy for children to feel the security of the environment.

It takes more painstaking efforts from parents to build a stable sense of security in their hearts.

It does not happen overnight to cultivate a child with a strong heart.

At every step of your child's development, parents can patiently accompany their child and establish a healthy and intimate attachment with him. ?

I had a physical examination in the hospital that day. At the place where the blood was drawn, I pressed the cotton ball to rest for a while.

There was a child crying at the blood collection place at her fingertips, and the mother pressed the child painstakingly before she finished drawing the blood.

After coming down, his mother patted him on the shoulder and said loudly, "Don't cry. Didn't you say to be brave?" Are you still a man? "

But the child did not listen, or cried loudly, the mother deadlocked for a while, while babbling, while pulling him downstairs.

There is also a boy of about four years old, waiting in line there.

His father was by his side, and I saw him show the child how to clench his fist, "if you clench it like this, and then let go of your hand, the blood will flow into the tube. It won't hurt."

The child quietly listened to his father's demonstration, turned his head slightly to the side when drawing blood, and was finished. ?

In fact, children are almost afraid of needles, and many adults are also afraid of needles.

This small difficulty is not difficult, but it takes a little courage to overcome fear.

This is especially true for children who have just started injecting needles.

If parents can patiently describe the pain to their children.

Just talk about it truthfully and tell the child that it will hurt a little bit, but it will be over in a minute.

You can also, like the father, tell the child something to pay attention to and why he did it.

This will distract the child.

And the more we know about one thing, the less afraid we will be.

Only those black holes that do not know the bottom and know nothing will bring boundless fear. ?

We often say that we should cultivate children with strong hearts.

First of all, you should recognize your children's fears, stay with them, and teach them how to face what is about to happen, find ways to overcome difficulties.

Let them feel your support and acceptance, so that the child will not become overwhelmed. ?

The most direct manifestation of children without sense of security is their poor psychological endurance.

When you encounter setbacks, you will habitually run away.

Their behavior will show withdrawal and cowardice, anxiety and inferiority complex, and they would rather not do it in the face of challenges, because if they do not do it, they can avoid making mistakes.

The failure of an exam almost made him give up his studies and evade the exam.

I want to finish my studies early and go out to work.

But when I looked outside, I found it too difficult to learn a skill, and continued to escape.

This kind of child, he will eventually fall into the psychological barrier of "escapism".

They will become self-deceiving and find reasons for their own escape.

Will attack and laugh at those who are hard-working and diligent.

Feel that their choice is to have "personality" and "courage".

In primary and secondary schools, children who encounter difficulties in learning and finally give up are easy to fall into this kind of psychological barrier.

In the end, he became drunk, smoked and fought outside.

It is necessary for parents to cultivate the bravery and self-confidence of their children when they are young.

To guide, understand, trust and encourage children. ?

There is a film "Gift hands" based on a true story.

The protagonist in it is the legendary doctor Ben Carson, who was once the head of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital, where the first separation of conjoined twins in the brain was performed, and the operator of the operation was Ben Carson.

Ben Carson grew up in a slum and often scored zero in exams, and his classmates once laughed at him as the stupidest child in the world.

Sonia, a single mother, works hard every day to support Carson and her brother Curtis.

He began to doubt himself, and every day he spent his life at home watching TV with his brother.

But the mother stipulated that the two children could only watch two TV programs a week, then sent them to the library to read and asked to write a reading report.

Reading opened up a new world for two little boys.

They soon indulged in the sea of books, infatuated.

And their mother told Ben, "you're not the stupidest child, you just don't make good use of your intelligence." ?

With his mother's encouragement and his own efforts, Carson finally became a medical master and realized his dream. ?

When children encounter difficulties and do not dare to try, do not rush to criticize the lesson.

Instead, he said, "give it a try. We can't give up without doing it."

If you fail when you try.

And don't blame the child angrily.

Instead, you can say to your child, "it's all right, let's do it again."

Little fish is very fond of building blocks.

I remember once he put together a dinosaur and fiddled there for a long time, and finally he came to me with red eyes.

"Dad, I can never spell this place well."

"did you check the steps? Is there anything wrong? "

"I checked, but I still can't spell it well."

"Don't worry, let's do it again." I told him.

Then he went to check it again with patience.

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