CRASHING INTO THE COMING OF AGE

A scorching summer evening

Friends, food, drink, fun, laughter.

Suddenly, the phone call.

Life forever changed.

My world collapses

As I collapse to the floor.

My baby brother,

My sibling soulmate,

Burned and shattered,

Crushed and paralyzed.

A long drive.

Unknown expectations.

Shock turns to fear,

Fear turns to numbness,

Numbness turns to grief.

My brother the athlete,

Runner, skier, pilot, larger than life.

Now broken in body, but not in spirit.

Four endless hours of surgery,

Awakens with three beautiful words:

"I am hungry."

Life will go on. Four months of challenges,

Hospitals, doctors, nurses, drugs, surgeries, pain,

Joy, sorrow, accomplishments, disappointments.

One day a toe moves,

Another day a leg,

Another day stairs and cars are tackled.

Craig Hospital, our savior,

My brother, our hero.

Learning to live his old life in new ways.

His learning becomes mine,

Never take life for granted,

I never will again.

AFTERWORD:

The plane crash happened one hot evening on the last day of July in the early 2000's. I was out having fun; not a care in the world except for my own well-being. I remember being consumed with selfish thoughts about the heat, meeting a new teammate, and getting my classroom ready for a new school year. These thoughts did not seem selfish to me at the time, but I would later come to regret and miss such superfluous thoughts. I remember the sadness and dread that came with the end of every summer break for me as an educator. I was feeling proud of finishing the summer semester of masters classes with another 4.0 GPA. I remember the common worries of what kind of students I would have that year and being able to pay the bills on a teacher's salary. Additionally, there were the normal, every day musings of friends and family and dating woes! I was only in my early thirties, and I had a promising life and career and exciting adventures ahead of me!

All of those thoughts go out the window when you are faced with the life and death situation of a loved one. I had to rely on others, including that brand new teammate, to set up my classroom for me. I had to count on a stranger I had never met, to set up the rules and climate for a successful school year that I would be showing up late to. An incredible boss gave me the permission to focus on life instead of a job. Friends helped me focus on family instead of dogs and chores. And somehow those bills got paid, and I managed another semester of masters classes with a 4.0 GPA. For four months and beyond all that mattered was the healing of a loved one while taking care of my own basic needs.

Later that year and in years to come, perfection did not matter quite so much. I was not the perfect teacher, friend, or student that I used to pride myself in being. However, I was a good family member. A good sister, daughter, sister-in-law, and aunt. I was strong, reliable, encouraging, and newly enlightened. It is not like I didn't know this before, but I began to feel more gratitude for the people in my life, and life itself. While I did not have to face death head on during that ill-fated plane crash, I went on in life's journey to lose loved ones far too young and too soon. That school year definitely was not perfect, (few ever are), but my students certainly learned the importance of life and family that year. I learned who my true friends were that year. But most of all, I learned what I was truly capable of enduring. One might say it was a crash course in my coming of age.