Coping with Difficult Puberty Your Kid Is Going Through

Going through puberty is one of the biggest challenges for a child, but for the parents too. Even though all the changes are happening to the kid, the entire family will suffer the consequences of the adolescent’s behaviour. From fussing about doing chores to denying to open up to you and thinking of parents as being anything but right and smart, if you’re parenting a 12-year-old, you should get ready for some serious undertaking. Puberty hits between the ages of 11 and 15, depending on the sex of the child and their individual maturity, so if you’re having trouble handling your pubescent offspring, you’ll need a few pointers to help you along the way.

Physical changes

The biggest physical changes that your kids will experience will happen during puberty. They’ll grow pubic and underarm hair, their skin will start to break out more, become oily, dry or have an uneven tone. Their intimate parts will change, grow and get hair which may be strange and even scary for some children. This is why you as a parent should expect the child to become curious and maybe even ask around about it. Most children are prone to exploration, so remember to allow them to have privacy in their own room. Always knock before entering the room because they may be in front of the mirror undressed and self-examining the changes that are happening. The last thing you want is to invade their privacy and have them feel ashamed because of something that’s the most natural in the world.

Emotional challenges

Along with physical changes come emotional challenges that every child goes through. With an increase of hormone surging through the body, you can expect kids to be moody, distracted, unwilling to spend as much time with you as they did when they were little. You have to understand that they're growing up and turning into adults. Which means that eventually, they won't be so dependent and parents won't be their primary concern. Friends, school, dating and hobbies outside the home will become their main interest. If your child feels the need to self-express in any way, it's essential that you are there to accept that expression and offer support. Children are very vulnerable at that age, and if they are maybe not getting enough support at school, or if the peers are not showing enough interest to be friends with them, support at home will be of great importance.

Deal with risky behaviour properly

Just as teenagers will be curious about their body changes, they’ll also be eager to know more about alcohol, drugs and a variety of other substances that have negative effects on their health. Reckless driving, cigarette smoking and unprotected sex are also some of the risky behaviours you should point out to your child and warn them about all the consequences if you think they may be involved in some of them. Many teenagers turn to substance abuse, in which case a saliva drug test has been a great companion to many parents when they wanted to be sure of their suspicions. One of the best ways to deal with your child’s risky behaviour is to set limits. You need boundaries that everyone will respect. Base the rules on shared values about staying safe in order to maintain peace at home and the well-being of a child. You should have a serious talk about all the consequences that risky behaviour can leave too.

Always offer support

Often parents don't know how to help their kids feel good in their own skin during this challenging period. If you're one of those parents, the best thing you could do is offer them support and reassurance. Always show compassion for whatever changes they may be going through. Reassure them that everyone will go through the same changes just maybe not at the same time. If they feel like they're being left behind because other girls already got their period and started wearing bras, you need to reassure your little girl that she is in no way less special or normal than other girls. She will just start going through all the changes a bit later. When you see that your child is making an effort, praise them for all the achievements. Kids will have many angry outbursts, and probably throw even more dramatic tantrums than when they were little, but you need to know how to handle it well. Do your best to stay calm in times like that, and talk to them calmly after the wave of anger has passed.

Final thoughts

Sometimes puberty can feel like it’ll never end, and other times it may go completely painlessly. Every child is unique and will go through their changes in their own way. If your child's puberty is one of the most difficult and dramatic of all, just keep in mind that it won't last forever. You have to stay focused, calm and tolerant most of all. This is the time when your child's identity is getting its final form and preparing them for adulthood, so make sure you offer all the support and understating to make the process less stressful for everyone.