Book I Wrote

I use my book cover not to get more sales but quite the contrary. I am writing to discuss how parents can really affect their child's happiness and how mine affected my life. I knew my sexuality was different at an early age but had no one to talk to about it. I couldn't discuss it with someone who was gay because in the 1970's everyone was still in the closet and to come out as gay meant you were sent to gay conversion therapy.

How did I know I was different? When I willingly gave my neighbor's son who was younger than I was a blow job, I was only nine. He was the one who seduced me not the other way around. After that night I was hooked. That boy and I became lovers for two years. My parents never caught onto us being lovers but we always called ourselves special friends and were always together.

When I was fifteen I was caught with a gorgeous boy in the neighborhood. His mother caught us, she kept calling my house until my stepmother woke up and answered the phone. I was taken home then sent to my room. I was then taken to talk to the preacher, then my parents put me into a camping trailer two hundred feet from the house and I was told I couldn't enter the house under any circumstances.

Why do I bring this up? Because last year in Denver a 9 year old boy hung himself five days after coming out as gay to his classmates. Why did he hang himself? Because his classmates bullied him over his sexuality. There are many cases of kids coming out as gay and dying because their classmates have bullied them. I see them as valuable pieces of society just as I would a straight kid.

Parents please let me tell you this so you can understand, your child's sexuality is not your fault. Don't blame yourself. I wish my parents hadn't forced me to accept straight is the only way to go because I married a woman and was miserable for twenty years. Had I been able to accept my sexuality and to talk to someone about it then I could have had a much happier adult life. I am not trying to push an agenda either, rather my personal experience of what I went through as to give you an idea as to how to help your child.

If your child says, "I think I am gay," take them to a pride parade; we didn't have them when I grew up. Don't scold little Johnny for kissing little Bobby down the street either, it could be a passing fad because kids do experiment.

If your child is gay then he or she is your gay son or gay daughter and should be invited to family functions. My sexuality was determined by molestation and rape so it should not have been a surprise that I was attracted to the boy next door and not little Suzy down the street. Again talk to your child to get their feelings about this.

Please don't turn your back on your child because of who they love. Luckily some relatives told my parents they didn't care who I loved as long as I was happy. Also, please don't let your child bully another child who has a different sexuality because they do need all the friends they can get. My dad threatened to send me to gay conversion therapy until his brother sued him in court.

If you don't know where to turn then go to your local LGBTQ center for help and answers. I am sure they will be more than happy to help. The last thing we want is for a precious child to kill themselves because they feel unloved or bullied because of who they love.