Be the Person you Want your Children to Be!

Sometimes we get so bogged down with day-to-day parenting that we forget to take a moment to take stock of where we’re at. Today I want to give you an inspirational quote to muddle over. Let me tell you how it’s made a difference to our family.

How blessed are we?

I would consider myself to be rather fortunate. I guess most parents feel that way when they look at the blessing that is their children. It always fills me with warmth and a giddy sense of accomplishment when someone stops to remark on how lovely my boys are. It reminds me of where my partner and I are and where we have come from in a short space of time.

We are forever inundated with comments about how well the boys behave when we’re out, or how polite they are. They display quirky examples of kindness and sincere examples of empathy. I love witnessing their interest and patience in church. I enjoy the mundane tasks like grocery shopping and the two-hour school run with them. I’ve lost count of how many time friends have looked at me with a mixture of concern and awe when I say that. Don’t get me wrong, they have their moments, but they reserve these for the confines of our humble abode.

When it all clicked

When Little Pudding was a year old I attended a course at a local children’s centre. I discovered early on how this inspirational quote made sense to me. From that day onwards, we as parents, have aspired to be the people we wish our boys to become. To cut a long story short, a role-playing exercise led me to examine my reaction to compliments and insults. I didn’t fare as well as I would’ve hoped.

Lessons learned

I guess the inspirational quote for today stems from the people my partner and I have become. We used to be quite shy in a strange crowd, found it hard to accept compliments, and have been known to question others’ true intentions when they’re ‘too nice’. But…we have learned to shine in the shadows, thank others for their positive views, and trust until given a reason not to.

My child’s reflection

When babies are born, it’s hard to conceive that they are a blank canvas. They look to cues in their environments about how to be and how to react. At the beginning that means the primary caregiver(s), usually the parents/guardians. It’s easy to take for granted how even the simplest of behaviours have to be learned. If I only display anger and frustration in difficult situations, why should I expect my children witnessing this to behave any differently? If I struggle to accept praise when others clearly see I am deserving of it, how do I imagine my children witnessing my discomfort will react in the same scenario?

As a parent, I am my child’s first hero(ine). I am their role model, the person they look up to and look to for reassurance. I will shape much of their early views and help carve out their character. If I want to raise a confident young person, I need to show them my inner strength. If I want a happy-go-lucky little cherub, I will learn to laugh at myself and smile through adversity. Life doesn’t have to be a constant battle. I demonstrate to my children that I can forgive and forget. Pick up a book now and then, venture outside, put the phone on aeroplane mode, make time for meaningful conversations… When you look at your child and see them looking back at you, imagine you are their mirror. What do you want their reflection to be? I know what I want my boys to see.

Be the person you want your children to be!

If this quote has touched you, made you rethink about your habits or confirmed what you already believed, let me know about it. I want to hear to hear your thoughts. Won't you take a moment to share them in the comments below?