"20 with No Kids" Is Not an Accomplishment

Let's be honest, we all judge people, even when we shouldn't. It's a natural flaw of humanity. However, as functioning members of society, we should at least have the decency to consider the repercussions of our judgments, especially those that are vocalized. We have all heard, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." I firmly stand by that phrase. Words may not break our bones, but they do affect each and every person differently.

From Facebook to Twitter, and even bios on tinder, we see young members of our community bragging about avoiding parenthood. This so-called "accomplishment" is demeaning and inconsiderate. So what I had a baby at 17? Am I any less qualified as a person because of it? No. If anything, from my personal experience, parenthood enables a drive and determination to be successful. I graduated high school in the top 1% of my class and went onto college where I currently hold a 4.0 GPA. Although I have had the support of my family and friends to aide my success, not every young parent has that opportunity. By belittling them simply because they have a child, society is making it that much harder to be successful and break those stereotypes that are so tightly wrapped around the phrase "teen mom".

Instead of judging these young parents we should help them through this journey. Parenthood is hard enough. But it is twice as hard when there are social media and the comments of people to add on to the stress of raising a child. Young parents need assistance and mentors and people to run to when things get tough. At the end of the day, they are human too. Having a child is beautiful, but trust me it is hard to enjoy it when your getting stares and subtle comments about age.

During my pregnancy, there were stares and rude comments. Even health care professionals told me things that just got under my skin. I don't need to be reminded that I am pregnant at 16 or that it's going to be harder for me because I'm young. It's discouraging. Everyone would say things like "you threw your life away." "How?" Is my question. Even more importantly why would someone say that to an emotional teenager that's going through pregnancy? It's as if it doesn't matter that we are human too. Everyone makes mistakes, but my child was no mistake. A lesson maybe - but no mistake. When my child came it didn't get any better. I went out in public and it was as if I had a big giant A written on my shirt. I distinctly remember a lady with her two daughters whisper "that's disgusting" as I was breastfeeding my son in public - but that's a whole other issue. My point is if you're going to judge young parents, don't, because we have it rough already. We balance school or work and taking care of a child just like any parent.

It's even harder when the comments come from your peers. The constant gossip and gloating about freedom is just a reminder of the lack of support teenage parents receive. Being childless does not make anyone superior over another. If anything it makes that person look insensitive to people who are trying to conceive and a jerk to those young parents that are doing their best to beat the statistics of living in poverty and dropping out of school.

So before you shame a young mother or celebrate 20 years of life with no kids, think about who you're offending, because there's a young parent struggling because all odds are against them at this very moment.