My true story of parental negligence.
The First Sign of Trouble
This is the very sick story of my ten-year-old son and "Two girls, one cup." If you have no idea what this is you are a very lucky person. Do yourself a favor and skip googling it, it is for your own good. It all started when I found messages from an older woman on my son’s tablet. She was attempting to get my ten-year-old son into video chat to show him her “new panties.” As a mother, I was furious and of course wanted to kill this woman. Recognizing I wasn't interested in “hard time in the joint,” I instead blocked her from my son’s social media account. It was a very innocent instant message from a girl who he had chatted with regularly and it popped up when I was using his tablet one day. I pretended I was him because I was attempting to find out who this person was. Very quickly she started talking about the new panties she bought today. That pales in comparison to where this message led me.
Things of this nature are commonplace on the internet. As long as your child can read and somewhat spell, anything in the world they are curious about is at their fingertips. In reality, most devices only need you to speak what you want searched and you will go straight to it. The internet and all of its bells and whistles is now a tool used to rob your children of their innocence and safety. Take into consideration that sex offenders and child predators have free reign to appear however they wish online. Shady people easily trick tens of thousands of adults who should know better, how do you think your children would hold up to the test if put in this position?
Two Girls, One Cup – Innocent Enough?
Predators are not your only concern either. A quick internet search for two girls or even one cup will bring you to one of the most disturbing and nauseating displays of sickness online I've witnessed to this day. My son, who was in fourth grade, was instructed by his classmates to check this video out online. This is the reason I began monitoring my son’s internet usage. My son was innocent and oblivious of the true sickness of unique types of fetish. He was told it was a funny video and he should really search it when he gets home. Very quickly and easily he typed it into his browser and viewed the video. I dealt with the woman and her panties, and was investigating his search history when he came home from school. He is well aware of my spyware knowledge and my device tracking experience, however, I only told him I was monitoring his online usage. I did not actually install anything on his devices at this point. A small part of me felt it was an invasion of his privacy and it was not my business to know everything in his head. I felt if he believed he was being monitored, he would stay on the beaten path. I was wrong. This simple mistake took a piece of my son’s innocence at such a young formidable age.
I still feel extreme sadness when I think of this situation. When he saw me looking at his tablet he immediately looked horrified and I could not understand why. I kept the facade up, telling him I had tracking software on his electronics. He came clean quick. We have a very open and honest relationship. He knows honesty will never get him in trouble or at least minimal consequences. Little did he know I would have never known, because a tool to keep his tablet running smoothly was cleaning his search history. He looked at me and said, "Mom, don’t freak out if you see something weird on there." I instantly said, "How weird?" He said, "Very, very, very, weird." This is when the alarms started going off in my head and I started to panic. I had to think quick because I knew he thought I had tracked his internet usage and I did not want him to know different. Very calmly, I asked him to just tell me what it is so I didn’t have to read through all of these logs and I also needed to get dinner on the table. He looked at me with a horrified expression and very quietly said, “Two girls, one cup.”
I had absolutely no idea what this meant. I was clueless. Many different thoughts crossed my mind and I was being very careful to make good decisions about my reactions at this point. Moments like this define an adult person’s sexual views and how they feel mentally about sex as an adult. I did not want my son to grow up and as a grown man have weird shame associated with sex that caused problems in his marriage. Parenting, what a blast. I decided it must have been some girl on girl action he had witnessed hence the title, two girls. I informed my son that what he viewed was clearly inappropriate content for his age. Also, he may think it's disgusting but when he is in college and reaches adulthood this type of thing may not always seem gross to him. I then told him this is not the time for him to even know or think about these types of things as he is simply way too young.
He stared at me in horror. I mean complete horror. I asked how he even came to something like this in the first place. He informed me that some kids at school told him it was a very funny video and he really needed to check it out. He had this disgusted look on his face as he spoke. He looked me in the eye and said, "Don’t worry mom, I will never go to that site again. It disturbed me to a point that I will never be the same." I thought to myself that he truly must have been oblivious to sex until now. I felt proud as a parent but also confused by his strong disgust in the girl on girl action. I expected some embarrassment and refusal to discuss the subject. I did not expect such a strong disgust. The look on his face was one of such horror it left me feeling unsettled. I decided not to look the site up because I felt I may vomit if I saw the actual porn my son had witnessed. It wasn’t until weeks later that I realized exactly what my son viewed. In my mind no matter what it was, the damage was done. Plaguing myself with guilt would not erase what he viewed. I was very wrong, again.
Leave It To My Sister to Clear Things Up For Me…
One day I was visiting my sister and my niece a few weeks later. I was telling her the horror story of the porn my son witnessed. I told her he said two girls, one cup and she swung around and looked at me with horror on her face. She yelled, “OH MY GOD HE SAW THAT?!" “Do you know what that is?" I said, "Girl on girl porn?" She said, "No, have you really never seen it?" I told her no and that I didn’t want to see it. My sister and I are very close and always have been. I know her well and I could tell by her anxiety level that I was missing something big. She instantly started looking for her laptop and said, "Oh no you have to see this, you have to see this, it is bad." I began thinking what is worse than my son seeing girl on girl porn at the age of ten. I started feeling very afraid for his psyche. She pulled it up and told me to look at it right now. What I viewed was so disgusting and horrifying, I am dry-heaving at the memory. I did not make it past a minute before I literally almost vomited all over her house. I was speechless. If you know me, you know I am never speechless. Quite the opposite, in fact. My sister was staring at me with an equally disturbed face as we took it all in. My kids are like her kids. The realization of my son’s experience witnessing such a disgusting, bizarre, offensive, video left us both traumatized. I finally said "WOW"! I never thought anything could top what I thought he viewed.
Two naked women with a cup from which they were actually drinking feces pretty much topped it all. Two women were passing “soft stools” directly from their bodies into a cup and then drinking it. They shared their “soft stools”, gargled soft stools, soft stools were running down their faces, and they were rubbing it all over each other. I mean how broke do you have to be to pick up this gig? How much do you get paid to gargle diarrhea? The questions were unstoppable in my mind. I had trouble wrapping my mind around it. It was the single most physically distressing video I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing in my life. My next thought was how I looked my son in the eye and informed him that just because it seemed wildly disgusting to him at his age, in college he may have a different view. The ridiculousness of it made me laugh and laugh. None of this was funny, don’t get me wrong. This is one of my worst character defects or defense mechanisms I was born with. I looked at my sister and told her I told my son he may find as he grows up this may or may not be something he will be into and he should try not to form any views on the subject at his age. While I’m typing this I am again struck with how absolutely ridiculous this statement was. I said “Shit!” Literally, “Shit.”
I was so proud of myself the day my son and I first approached this whole subject. I felt it was a defining moment in his life and was handled appropriately and in a healthy way to preserve his sexual health in the future. In reality, I disturbed the boy even further. My son is a thinker and a genius. He is different from boys his age and he has a very complicated thought process. I couldn’t stop thinking about the few weeks he used to process my stellar parental advice. He’s probably decided someday, when he is an adult, he may love watching women eat each other’s bowel movements out of a cup while rolling in it and gargling it. This is a moment as a parent you cannot help but scream, WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL! WHY?! I knew I had to discuss this and quick, so I waited for him to get home from FOURTH GRADE on THE BUS. I planned on handling this once again. My poor boy.
While I don’t want my son to be aware of sex, specifically the actual inner workings of the act of sex, it seemed the better choice in this situation. For some reason, this video seemed way worse than the alternative. I think it’s because the world is such a sick place, with many very sick people, and he is so oblivious of the evils of the human race. I did not want to be the one to break it to him, at least not yet. As the situation progressed, he slowly lost pieces of his innocence that he will never get back. As a parent, this is heartbreaking, even in the normal progression of life. Having it happen this soon and well before its time, is even worse.
I sat my son down and very directly said to him “Son, I watched two girls, one cup today with your Aunt.” HA! I failed to realize this was probably something he absolutely did not see coming. I am pretty sure, he would probably rather chew his own arm off than this. Thinking about me and his aunt, sitting with popcorn, watching this video, all because he brought it to our attention. This poor kid. I told him, "Listen. I know I told you what you viewed may not be so disgusting when you get older. I need to retract that statement. I clearly was not aware of what this video entailed and I want to reiterate to you, this type of behavior will NEVER be okay with you. You will NEVER be into it, not now, not when you are eighty. If you ever find yourself into this type of behavior, I will need you to let me know immediately and we will get you some very expensive professional help quick. It is not important what I 'thought' you saw, but most important is the kids who directed you to this video ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!" He looked so relieved, I instantly felt better. I could tell by his face he struggled with my advice, as I said, he is a thinker. Since he is a thinker, I knew once it was all straightened out and discussed candidly that he was going to be alright. I feel confident he will never partake in such activities, and it was clear by the tear of joy that welled up in his eyes when I told him you will never like this.
Monitoring Your Kids Online Is Mandatory
Although he viewed the mother of all videos, 2 Girls, 1 Cup, I feel confident if there is something worse than this I will be able to swiftly “nip it in the bud.” I know privacy, and teaching your kids healthy boundaries regarding privacy, are much debated subjects. In the past there were different views from the Dr. Phil’s and Dr. Spock’s of the world.
Today, in the year 2016, and when it comes to MY KIDS, privacy does not exist when discussing technology, internet, and mobile phone use, period. I am guilty of being the oblivious parent. I know what it is like to think, "Oh he’s fine, he’s just playing a game." The problem is that while your child is probably fine, there are many parents in the world who are either as clueless as I was or not involved. There are just bad parents and they allow their children to see things they are too young to see.
In the past, if the neighbors let their kids run the streets it really didn’t affect your kid because you were watching your kid. Your kid knew their boundaries in the neighborhood, they knew not to cross those boundaries. Now the neighborhood is the world wide web, streaming live to TV’s, phones, tablets, and gaming systems. There are no boundaries. Your children are up against kids their age and what they are exposed to. They are also up against adults, adults who are predators. Some of these adults are their friends, PARENTS. Unfortunately, predators have children just like you.
The internet is a predator’s playground. Imagine if your neighborhood was filled with every sicko on the planet. People from every country. Countries where rape and child trafficking are commonplace. Sexual predators were free to walk your street and talk to your children. Murderers, drug addicts, people who like drinking people’s feces. Would you ever let your child out of the house? HELL NO!
In essence you are releasing your child onto a predators playground IF YOU DO NOT MONITOR YOUR CHILD’S INTERNET USAGE.
To clarify, by child I mean up until they are legally of the age to move out. Time and again we hear of people building relationships with teens and even younger kids on the internet acting as the same age or same sex. Time and time again children meet predators behind their parents backs and either become a statistic or a hidden camera pops out and a furious parent with tears running down their face. People whisper, "But I told her over and over, I never thought in a million years MY KID would fall for this." They say it every time. This is why kids are your responsibility for years on end. Your child is not a tadpole that swims off the minute it is hatched. Your child cannot make a good decision to save his life. Even if they normally do, it's a crapshoot. You never know when a child is going to just lose their mind and forget everything taught to them and do something crazy.
It is you against the internet. You must monitor your kids and don’t make the mistake of just pretending they are monitored. They will STILL CROSS THE LINE. Even when they know they are being monitored they will still go places they are not supposed to. One of the worst issues is other kids at school, baseball practice, or who belong to parents who do not parent. They may be the nicest person in the world. However, if they are not on top of their kids, every move their children are exposed to a world of sickness. Kids love to share new information with other kids. You must be proactive.
It is an absolute travesty that children are exposed to things like two girls, one cup, at such young formidable ages when they are learning who they will be as adults. They are becoming desensitized to the sicknesses of the world. As adults we should never feel comfortable with this. Our kids are growing up with unlimited dark content brewing in their heads for years. It is never addressed because parents are not even aware it exists. It is not only your duty as a parent but also your duty as a human being to monitor your children. Monitoring will at least help you address any questionable material in a healthy way that makes sense, instead of letting it fester and then spread to other kids.
Monitoring enables you to discuss the situation appropriately and in a way conducive to your child growing into a healthy productive member of society. The horrors are endless on the internet and your children are exposed to them daily. A very dark world is lurking in computers, tablets, gaming systems, and mobile phones. You can also block sites from your child with software. Monitoring software capabilities are endless. There is a real war in this country. Parents and their children are on the front lines! Good Luck! Be diligent!