100 days in heaven

Good 100 days to you in heaven

Here you are again, No. 5 Lilac Garden. This is the fourth time, on the fourth day of the lunar month of the year Gengzi, and it has been a hundred days since you left the splendid and colorful time. Under the cover of a black glazed square, you lie quietly in a marble-built coffin, warmed by the golden sunlight of a midwinter afternoon, peaceful and distant. In this slowly rising hillside in the village of Shankou, you are surrounded by a forest of short-stemmed pines and Wulian red granite monuments, each pine forest and each monument is a departed life, and you must have been familiar with them and now become neighbors.

The school not far ahead of you, there are buildings and roads that you planned and built with your own hands, there are trees along the road that you planted with your own hands, and there are colleagues and students who respect and revere you, and now the buildings here are getting more and more chic, the roads are getting more and more winding, and the canopy of trees that have grown into a forest in the sky looks like a mirage floating in the mist of the city when you look at it. If you feel bored here, go to the woods or paths there, and you may meet some surprises and familiarity.

In the space and time that I can perceive, even though I can't see your figure or hear your voice, I think you haven't left, you just went to a place where there are no vehicles coming and going and suffering, more likely you went out for a visit or meeting and training, because this is your daily routine in your previous work. Can you wink as a star where you are, in the twinkling luster, I will know that you there is also a place where dreams rise to go, and I can also perceive that every word and deed in life has your attention.

After experiencing the separation from you and feeling the heartbreak and pain of your loved ones, my heart seemed to be hollowed out and I was at a loss, except for the sadness that was still persistent and strong, I always thought of you lying in a coma on the CT machine doing tests and breathing hard, always thought of you lying in the glass-covered thermostatic coffin in the Cloud Return Hall wearing a duck-tongued cap with fire paper covering your ears, always thought of you in the I always think of your whiter than usual face, wider face and puffed up lips when you were pushed out of the flower cluster in Dexin Hall. Whenever I think of these moments, I shudder, tear my heart out, and tears come to my eyes.

The clove garden is a feng shui treasure you and the brothers to parents, thinking that they were sent here after a hundred years, buried in the coffin by the five lotus red granite set, so that relatives living in the city on New Year's Day to be able to pay respects in time to send thoughts, did not expect that you had an accident, so that the white hair to send the black hair, they cry out to heaven and beat their chests to sleepless nights, but also can not let them put you from here Change back. You came here to experience a hundred days of wind and sun and rain and snow soaked melt, in the hundred days of the eighty-second day, you experienced six years before birth dripping water into ice and snow.

Slowly up the slopes and bare grass, bearing the lowest temperature since the dip in 64 years, all dressed in snow, this is the God of the unexpected death of your filial and pathos. What is the concept of a hundred days? It is almost a third of a year, a crossing of the seasons, from the early autumn of the year Gengzi to the middle of winter. In the morning, I felt my soul slowly returning to my body, because I was trying to come to the office with a painless heart as before, and I saw through the floor-to-ceiling windows the warm sunlight shining into the sea, the port, the buildings and the corners of the streets under the blue sky outside the fiftieth floor, and the "twin buildings" of Tiande Seaview City thrusting into the clouds with vigor.

The opening of a life, rejoicing to celebrate 100 days, because he has passed the risk of life's delicate, increasingly strong body for life laid a good foundation. The soul of a deceased person needs to congratulate a hundred days, because the relatives are painfully becoming aware of the boundaries of life and death, and make the last farewell with a reverent ceremony. Half a year ago, we ate together at your parents-in-law's house, sat together at the coffee table drinking tea, talking about the wedding preparations for your nephew scheduled for the Fourth of July, but now we are separated, we can only look at your black glazed cover under the square marble coffin, facing the wind and looking at each other speechless.

In terms of brother-in-law ranking, I am before you, how can you walk in front of me? I just went to work and my family was too poor to pay for the house, you and your family even borrowed money from neighbors to give a helping hand, the authorities can't write in a practical style, you teach me by example, not good at words and social interaction, you teach the art of getting along with colleagues and friends, step by step to bring me up. How can I not understand such a mountain high like the depth of the sea of kindness? I am trying my best to repay it, but how can you be in such a situation that you have no words to say goodbye, really want to repay but you do not treat ah, this makes me have how heartbroken, how heartbreaking. Every time I come to your new residence, No. 5 Clove Garden, this grief is like a wild stream, unstoppable.

When I think of the scene once, I always feel your figure shaking in front of my eyes, I can always see you seriously into the model, so clear, so deep, can not be erased. Happy is the family together, without you, how happy family? You crossed like a meteor, this short but long 100 days, beauty and happiness but gone, each loved one's family is in the middle of the drift, can not see the rainbow, can not feel the warmth. The people who are dear to you spend every day in ignorance, and all the things and scenes that your eyes glide over do not leave any mark in your mind, and in the prayers that are offered to you, there is nothing but wood or wood.

People are all guests in the world. Whenever I heard that someone I knew well had passed away, my father-in-law and mother-in-law always said this with a sigh. No one can stay in the world forever. My understanding is that since being in the world is a guest, the process of being a guest is not the norm, but the beginning and the end is the norm. There are many kinds of treatment for guests: being treated like a guest, being left out, being hit, being dealt with indifferently, or with a lot of twists and turns and mixed feelings ...... The treatment for you as a guest is of course the first one.

You are the bloodline in the life of the family, has long been the degree of you have me, I have you, so they have such fondness and sadness for you, your closest relatives this kind of fondness and sadness, has long been unable to help themselves and involuntary. Since the process of being a guest is not the norm, it is impermanent. Life is unpredictable, life is fragile, accidents and tomorrow is just a night choice, which is like "the dew of the wild, the fog of the bird's edge", the gathering and scattering is indeterminate. The encounter six months ago, an accident of yours, became forever; the fate of your loved ones, thirty-five years in a snap of the fingers, became the end of the world.

In the afternoon at your home, I saw the books on your bookshelf in the living room that you have loved all your life, although they were almost torn but still lined up neatly in the grill, the color of the spine in front of my eyes colorful landmarks of your life's experience, such as film and television footage of your memories in my mind. Your table and chairs, your computer and your notebooks are still as neatly arranged as before, as if waiting for your arrival, where your memories, research and creations are stored, and they are still quietly waiting to be released, to make your great name known to the world.

One hundred days, after the whole autumn and more than half of the winter of the year Gengzi. From spring to summer, large and small, have lost track of how many rains have fallen, but in the beginning of autumn after that heavy rain that fell all day, the rain in the year of Gengzi became extra stingy, the whole autumn and winter season because of this temperament of the year of Gengzi and became anxious. How many hundreds of days do we have in a lifetime? How many hundred days do we have to spend to make ourselves? How many hundred days of our lives are alive, and how many of them pass away with the unpredictable vagaries?

The family, already you have me, I have you, because of this relationship with you, they came to the lilac garden, gathered in front of your new residence at door number 5, spraying fragrant flowers budding, wrapped in black paper by black ribbon, chic shape, bunch by bunch neatly placed in your black glazed square coffin side, not far from the front of the incense burner, also inserted bunches of good incense, the smoke curls, in The fragrance made their minds flash back to a scene of your memory. Chicken, fish, meat, eggs and snacks were served in bowls and plates on the offering table, hot water was poured into the plates and bowls, cigarettes were lit and white wine was poured.

The relatives of the sacrifice pay their respects to you with chopsticks, spoonfuls, sticks and cups, and then kneel down and kowtow in front of you in batches to send their thoughts to you, and the money tree and treasure box are necessary for this visit, and when the fire paper burns up, they are sent to you in the red-orange flame. You must be watching silently from heaven, and must be able to see all that your loved ones have done for you, and see the curling white smoke drifting away with the wind. I think I saw you in the curling smoke, smiling and nodding, pointing, probably lamenting the impermanence of being a guest in this world, right?

I once heard that life and death are two different forms of life, life is a guest with different treatment in the world, and death is a family member in another time and space calling you home. I am sure that this is true, and today you must have looked at your loved ones standing in front of you with kind eyes, as you usually do, and must have understood my silence. May you see in heaven the colors of the sunlight beating down the hillside in the west, hear the heartbeat of your loved ones dripping blood, and receive my blessings. As Kanetsugu Yoshida said in his "Taranga", "If the morning dew in Kakuno would not disappear, and the smoke of Toribe's mountains would remain in the sky, how insipid would it be? It is because everything in this world is impermanent that it is especially beautiful."

The cold wind that slips past my cheeks is a knife that will disappear your figure on the slowly rising hillside, blurring in the sight of people at home who miss you, but I will never forget you for the rest of my life, grateful for the teachings and care you once gave me. Clove Garden afternoon sunshine orange-red cold, curling smoke dissipated, rose a constant quiet, and the hillside below the fight, noise and the emotions associated with the sadness and joy in contrast. As I walked back on the Fuan Road, I was immersed in the contrasting colors, with the old crows jumping on the branches of the nest and the seemingly unheard of wooden fish dubbing in the distance, and the poetic sadness suddenly rose up from the bottom of my heart.

On the 77th day of the 100th day away from you, the moment before dawn, you came to my dream, let me go with you to sell pears, and to go to the Yangtze River in Anqing, said there can be sold at a good price. I woke up thinking about the brain pain can not think, you asked me to go to Anqing together to sell pears the reality of the reason and the moral, Zhou Gong dream interpretation said, with the danger of being involved in other people's disputes for no reason, business from someone to destroy, do not affect the winnings, there are financial profits can be obtained. Ah, this is your reminder to me, in the world as a guest for the rest of my life, or the wind, snow and rain impermanent hard to determine.

Please give me the dream again when you have time, so that I can see you again, talk to you again, listen to your voice again, and be blessed by you again in the allegory of this dream.