10 Ways To Show Your Partner You Love Them

Anyone can say “I love you” or text a gif. But I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words (although hearing I love you is still great). I have a friend Megan. We used to work together a few years ago. One day when work wasn’t busy, she was super occupied making a list. I thought she was making plans for work but when I asked her what she was doing she looked up with a smile and said,

“I’m making a list of nice things I can either do for Frank or with Frank”.

Frank was her boyfriend at the time and last time I talked to Megan, they were still together, happily . . . and I think it’s in a large part to Megan’s intentionality on making a to do list of things that would show Frank that she cared. Megan taught me a very valuable lesson about relationships that day. You have to put the effort in, not just when things are tough and you are trying to repair them, but every day. To quote another friend,

“Rome wasn’t built in a day. It was built every motherfucking day.”

And I think relationships are like that too.

In honor of Megan, here is a list of things you can do to show your partner that you care.

1). Stop Looking At Your Phone When They Are Talking To You Or You Are Spending Time Together

It feels so isolating when the person you are with is on the phone. It makes your partner feel like something is more important than they are. Be in the moment with your partner. It makes no sense to text them the entire time you are away from them but when they are in the same room you show them either no attention or divided attention. This person is your partner for a reason. Show them that they are a priority by setting the phone down.

2). Be Your Partner’s Number One Fan Both In Front Of Them And When They Are Not There

Life is already tough. We all want that one person that is there to encourage, inspire, and comfort. Making jokes at your partner’s expense and complaining about them to your friends and family both put cracks in the foundation of your relationship. Gradually, it erodes the trust that exists in the relationship. Most relationships don’t fail because of one major event, it is the build up of resentment and distrust that result from many small events.

3). Choose To Look At The Positive Qualities Your Partner Possesses

I speak as a woman here but many times us ladies are the first to look at the shortcomings of our partner and focus on them. The problem with that, is the more you focus on what you don’t like, you don’t have time to enjoy what you do like. Maybe your partner is messy but they cook the best dinners ever. Or maybe they don’t have the best career but they are good to everyone around them. Choose to focus on and highlight the good in the other person. You will find that the more you focus on the good qualities, the more things about your partner you can find that are good.

4). Make Your Partner Their Favorite Meal

It’s the old adage that the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach. Find out your partner’s favorite meal and make it for them. Or if you suck in the kitchen like I do? Order takeout and have it waiting for them. Your partner will appreciate that you took the time to not only take care of dinner, but that you knew exactly what they loved.

5). Help Them With Chores (Bonus If It’s One You Know They Don’t Like Doing)

We are all tired, overworked, and stressed out, one way to show your person that you care is to take one task off of their plate. Maybe they hate doing laundry? Go ahead and throw a load in the washer. Or they hate sweeping/mopping? Go ahead and do the floors. Small tasks that all show you care.

6). Learn To Quit Keeping Score And Forgive

So your partner forgot to pick up dinner two years ago. Or maybe they ALWAYS forget to put the toilet paper back on the roll. Just get over it. Yes it may be annoying, but is it worth the resentment you carry? If you were able to forgive all the petty shit, wouldn’t that give you time to enjoy your person? Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy? For years I wanted to be right. And that entire time I could have been happy instead.

7). Show Them You Appreciate Them

Don’t take your partner for granted. If they do something kind, show them you recognize their efforts especially when they are making the attempt to spend time with you and/or apologize (especially when they are trying to apologize).

8). Be Exciting

Maybe your partner is always the one who plans events, dates, or sets up fun things to do. Turn the tables on them and surprise them with a night out or dance lessons or tickets to the game.

9). Ask Their Opinion and Actually Take Their Advice

Take time to have meaningful conversations with your partner. Talk about your goals, your career, etc. And when they tell you their thoughts, don’t dismiss them. Actually take inventory of their suggestions and implement them. It will be impossible to build a life with someone if you only want things your way.

10). Have More Sex

It wouldn’t be one of my articles if we didn’t address the sex part. Yep, you all need to be having more sex and better sex. My grandmother, Nanie (pronounced Nan-EE) was famous for saying

There have been more marriages saved in the bedroom than the kitchen.

And she was 100% correct. Your partner wants to be touched and kissed and fucked. Not just fucked but fucked well. Stop doing the same two positions because they work. Put some effort into to it. Sex is one of the best ways to show someone how you feel about them. Lack of sex in my opinion equals a lack of attraction. Relationships can be made and broken in the bedroom.

Final Thoughts:

I can think of several times where I could have had better relationships if I had chosen to be more like Megan. Focusing on how to build a healthy one with intentionality like I plan my investment portfolio. I didn’t. I chose to focus on what the other person did wrong or even worse, what they didn’t do for me. In retrospect, I would have created healthier romantic relationships by focusing on what the other person did right and what I could have done for them.