10 Ways to Help Your Spouse Deal with a Difficult Day at Work

Imagine your spouse comes home after a long workday, so tired that he or she can barely speak. What might seem like a bad day at the office can be hard to handle for any of us, but it’s important to have compassion and patience in these moments. Here are a few ways to help your spouse out when they come home from the office with their emotions on high and without enough energy to maintain a calm exterior:

1. Listen without judging

The last thing you need your spouse telling them is that they are being irrational or overreacting about their day at work. The first step to helping your spouse let off some steam is by making sure they feel like they’re being heard. When you listen non-judgmentally, you’re letting them know that what they’ve been through is valid, and that taking the time to talk about it is important.

2. Encourage them to take a break

We often assume that when someone comes home from a hard day at work, that it’s best to get right down to business. If your spouse comes home with a lot on their mind and a lot of negativity, chances are they need some time just to relax before engaging in anything else. Encourage your spouse to do what they need to get their rest, and make sure you’re there for them.

3. This is normal, let it out

If your spouse has worked hard all day, chances are they just want to get out everything that is pent up inside. This is normal and healthy. Being able to let those feelings out is a sign of growth and maturity, in addition to being an important step towards healing the relationship. Letting these emotions out may not be easy for some people, but giving them the space they need will help them feel more comfortable after their emotional release can take place.

4. Ask for clarification

Sometimes you can’t help but to wonder what the heck is going on in your spouse’s work environment. If your partner comes home from work and doesn’t seem like they are fully letting their emotions out, ask them what happened to get their feelings across.

Sometimes they need a little push in order to release everything that was on their mind, and asking them questions will help them talk through those emotions. It also helps you better understand the situation so that you can offer more support in the future.

5. Encourage positive communication with co-workers

This is important advice for any relationship, not just ones with partners at different workplaces. When your spouse comes home and feels guilty or that they may be making a mistake, it’s important to encourage them to talk to the company they work for. Your spouse may have a hard time opening up because of the boss or coworkers, but it is best to encourage them to eventually let it out through proper communication.

6. Disguise it as positive

This one is suitable not just for couples, but also for anyone who finds themselves dealing with negative emotions due to their job situation. When your spouse comes home and seems angry or upset with what they are experiencing at work, try giving them some positive news. Turn the situation into a positive dialogue and see if you can find a way to turn their negative emotions into something positive.

7. Encourage them to take it easy

Just because your spouse is complaining about their job, doesn’t mean they are looking for a fight. It’s important to remember that when they come home, they’re looking to relax and unwind. Let them know that you know these emotions are normal, and encourage them to take it easy over the next few hours. They may need to talk about everything that happened in a negative manner, but try encouraging them to talk about what went well at work too.

8. Listening on your own time

Remember that some of us need more time or space before we can fully open up after a hard workday. If your partner is not comfortable opening up right away, give it time. Encourage your spouse to vent, then tell them you’ll talk about what happened after dinner or whenever they are ready. Sometimes it takes us a few hours to release our emotions and it may take your partner multiple times before he or she opens up.

9. Your love is not conditional

Some people feel as though their love for their partner is dependent on the success of their work life. Remember that even if they fail, they will always have you by their side. Let them know that although work issues are stressful, that doesn’t mean your relationship is in danger if things don’t go right. Their love for you is truly unconditional, and you should reinforce that message as much as possible.

10. It’s not your fault

We are human, we’re going to make mistakes. Sometimes your spouse may come home and blame their problems at work on you. Even though this is probably the furthest thing from the truth, it’s important to remember that it is not your fault. The best thing you can do in this situation is correct them with some kind humor and understand that they are being a little dramatic in their emotions. These mistakes are important to learn from so they don’t repeat them again in the future.

Finally

It’s important to remember that when a person is upset or angry, it can be difficult for them to fully release all of their emotions. You may have to go through a few episodes before you can vent your emotions completely. But with time and patience, your spouse will begin to feel more comfortable with what they are going through, and they will be able to get things off their mind more easily.