Why back to school is harder for older kids.

Twelve year old Christo dreads going back to school. It is boring and the other kids only talk about TikTok and stuff that he has no interest in, he says. He is one of the less popular kids and is awkward and shy.

We all know that there are many of the quiet unassuming, socially tense, and maybe a tad introverted kids who think that being different is not necessarily a good thing. We have yet to find ways to totally convince these young ones that it actually is an attribute to be proud of. That it is the great hidden potential for achievement beyond the norm that is driving this need for something else other than what they encounter within the realm of the everyday, banal and the usual. We need to let them know that they or other young people are not better or worse than each other, there are just different personalities and different expectations as we traverse along life's journey.

Before the Pandemic era this was mostly the main concern of young people who found it so hard to fit in. Now the concerns have evolved way beyond just the insecurities of normal youthful evolution.

There is now a more toxic and dangerous mix of factors to contend with. There are battles over critical race theories, sexual identity education concerns, violence within schools and the general discontent of the world as the whole and in general. All of these changes, following ever so closely on the heels of the COVID-19 protocols, have changed the landscape of the public school system.

As adults, we are having a hard time readjusting to life post pandemic. So too are the younger generation. It is especially hard for them to deal with obtaining an education and having to deal with values and standards which are either being changed or being lowered from what they have been previously taught was acceptable.

It appears that there is a new trend of parents removing their children from public schools because of these unfair practices being forced upon the young of our society. It is hard enough being young and grappling with the many phases of transitioning from childhood to youth, into pre-teenage woes and onwards, without the burden of a people's changing desires and personal choices being made a part of their school curriculum, whether formal or informal. Parents are opting for home schooling, but how long before the stress and strain of that responsibility make them reassess the situation all over again.

Dealing with teenagers is especially hard whether at home or in school, add uncertainties and forced concepts to this mix and we have a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off.

We are confusing our new generation of young, upcoming leaders of tomorrow. Some children are so traumatized that they are contemplating suicide, among other harmful methods to help them try to cope. If it has come to this, should we all not wake up and realize that something drastic needs to be done.

There are parents who are opting to remove their children from public schools in favor of Catholic schools, even though they are not Catholic per se, mainly because of the morals and values of these schools which have remained unchanged over the years. There is also, hopefully less threats of violence, bullying and general discomfort of thoughts of children facing a new school year. Other parents have turned to Charter schools, which are publicly funded, but independently operated. This allows them the autonomy of avoiding the bureaucratic and political pitfalls that can create problems in public schools.

Not everyone can afford private schools! Yet both religious and secular private schools have seen a gain in their curriculum between 2020 and 2022, according to the Cato Institute. Parents are seeking alternatives for the well being of their children.

I still maintain that the school system is in need of a great overhaul. Yes, we can prepare the kids at home to get to sleep on time, and prepare them mentally and physically in order to help them to reset as they prepare to face a new school year. This works better for the younger kids. Dealing with the older ones pose a little more of a challenge. There are a lot more demons that they have to face out there.

It seems that no matter how much we prepare and encourage them, and we should do our endeavor best to do that, they have to dive alone and head first into the fray that is a changing world even in the supposedly closed environment of a school system.

How can we prepare our children to be the masters of their own fate, and captains of their own souls, and let them know that they have have the power to control their own thoughts?

Encouragement!

1. First we need to let them see us being masters of our own fate, and captains of our own souls. This particular feat is getting harder even for us adults, but it must be done.

2. We need to listen to what they are trying to tell us. Christo's father asked him to write an essay detailing the reasons why he was so against going back to school. Somewhere in the writing of that essay he saw a faint glimmer of hope for returning to school. Maybe he will like this new bunch of varied classmates. Maybe he will try to engage more in different activities, just maybe he will try to keep an open mind. He somehow came to this novel conclusion all on his own by the simple act of introspection and seeing the written words. Thankfully, his mind is a little more at peace with returning to school. It was really amazing.

3. Let them be a part of the decision making process. This makes for more congenial problem solving.

4. We need to keep a keen eye out for signs of depression and general changes in the normal behavior of our teenage children. They are aware that parents have to resort to a bit of snooping every now and then, they may not like it, but we are the parents after all!

5. Encourage and participate in comfortable dialogue, as difficult as it may seem sometimes.

6. Just be there for them when they need a hand or an ear.

7. Let them know how great they are, how loved they are. These smaller versions of ourselves have a great deal more to contend with than when we were younger. We were educated into life at a more slower pace than the young people of today. Everything is coming towards them at the speed of light. It will be very easy for them to be overwhelmed by it all.

8.Patience and understanding, as hard as it is to harness these attributes sometimes, is the cornerstone of everything.

Honestly, Christo's parents are talking about private school somewhere in the near future.

Things really need to change for the sake of our young and upcoming leaders of tomorrow.

Still we Hope!

“Hope” is the thing with feathers

BY EMILY DICKINSON

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

N.A.