Why are children becoming less respectful of their parents?

Many parents in the process of raising their children report the problem that

"My child doesn't respect me."

Younger children, who often order their parents to do this and that, get angry at them when they are upset, or even fist and kick them.

Older children whose parents often ignore, resent and dislike them back when they speak to them.

Often quarrels with parents, disdainful of the reasoning or advice given by parents ------

This makes the parents aggrieved: I love the child so much, for him to pay so much, why can not exchange the basic respect of the child?

The problem is not with the child, but precisely with the parents.

Every child is born with unconditional love, dependence, and trust for their parents.

The reason for the growing disrespect for parents is mostly due to the wrong parenting style and teaching by example, which to some extent reflects the failure of education.

What kind of parents will make their children increasingly disrespectful?

01

Parents who spoil their children without principle

There is a kind of parents who can give their hearts to their children, but not in exchange for their children's respect.

Unprincipled to meet the various requirements of the child, condone the child's bad behavior, help the child to clear all the trouble, and try to create a happy and comfortable environment for the child to grow up in.

Eventually, the child's status becomes higher and higher, while the parents become more and more humble.

This kind of spoiling and overprotection will not let the child understand the love and contribution of parents, but mistakenly think that they are the center of the world, can call the shots, and want anything, otherwise, it is the fault of others.

These children are mostly selfish and domineering, with no one else in their hearts but themselves, and how can they respect others?

I once read this news.

A 12-year-old boy in a city, broke the items in the teahouse, and want his mother to pay for him, the mother said two words to him, and the child was on the spot on the mother's hands, choking her mother to death in public.

A boy of about 10 years old violently beat his grandmother in the street, he pressed his grandmother's head with his legs, kicked her head and face, and was quite disdainful in the face of accusations from passers-by, and even cursed.

And helplessly, this grandmother did not say a word and even protect the grandson.

Parents should understand that unprincipled indulgence will cause the child's personality and character defects, and the child's growth is harm.

In the process of growing up, children will inevitably encounter situations where their wishes are not met, generating negative emotions and frustration, which is a part of what they must go through.

Parents should not unconditionally meet any of their children's needs because they can't let them get upset or frustrated but should guide them to learn from their frustrations, recognize and regulate their emotions, break their self-centered cognitive limitations, understand their relationship with others, and the world, and gain personality maturity.

Parents should also encourage their children to do things independently and help themselves to do what they can. Children will feel their parents' hard work and difficulties in their labor and contribution and learn to care for and love others.

02

Parents who do not respect their children

Many parents lack the correct educational concept, do not realize that children are equal and independent individuals, and think that children are their appendages and can be treated and arranged as they wish.

This is in the ideology of the misconception of the wrong area. With this kind of perception, it is easy to have some wrong education methods.

Ignoring and denying the child's feelings and ideas.

Mocking, hitting, random verbal attacks, and scolding children.

Promising the child things that are not promised and going back on their word.

Not listening and answering carefully to what the child says, being perfunctory and impatient.

Taking care of everything for the child and controlling the child only according to their ideas.

Common statements include.

"What a pig brain, stupid!"

"What do children know? Listen to me!"

"What's the point of crying about this little thing? It's useless."

"Where do you get the privacy? I'm your mother, what can't I see."

------

These approaches and language are not in line with the child's need to grow up with self-respect, autonomy, and independence, which are also basic needs for healthy physical and mental development.

Respect is mutual, if the parenting style lacks respect for the child and the parent-child relationship is poor, the child is bound not to respect the parent either.

We will find that many children, when they reach adolescence, obviously become rebellious to their parents, and do not take their parents in their eyes, and even hands.

An important reason for this is that in children at that age, self-awareness increases, their psychological desire for independence and more free space, and often confusion in the mind.

But parents do not adjust their education in time to give him more personal space, or simply brutal use of parental authority to "suppress" the child, so more and more conflicts between parents and children, the distance between more and more.

No matter what stage of growth a child is in, he or she needs the respect, acceptance, understanding, and appreciation of his or her parents to feel their love and sense of self-worth.

When parents find that their children do not respect them, it is the right time to reflect on their education style and learn to respect them.

Value the child's feelings and ideas, and learn to listen, and express understanding.

Listen carefully and patiently to the child and respond positively, without being perfunctory.

Try to control their emotions, communicate with their children calmly, and do not verbally abuse or chastise them at will.

Let go of your desire to control, allow your child to make his own choices and decisions within the scope of safety and principles, and let go appropriately as he grows older to give him enough room to grow.

03

Parents who do not set a good example for their children

Remember when a fifth-grade elementary school student wrote an essay?

"My mother can't do anything right, she just knows how to play all day long, and she screams every day that she is tired.

The students I play with, Xiao Qing's mother can drive, but she can't; Xiao Lin's mother can play table tennis with Xiao Lin, but she can't ......

I think my mom is a useless middle-aged woman!"

It is certainly problematic for a young child to say such things and dislike his parents.

But as a parent, shouldn't you also reflect on whether you have given your child a positive role model? Are you living your life well? Are you trying to make progress and become a better version of yourself?

Many parents have been using double standards to require their children and themselves.

Children are not allowed to watch TV and play on cell phones, but they often catch up with games and short videos.

Children must go to bed early and get up early, but they can stay up late and sleep until sunrise.

Always force their children to read and study, but they never touch the book not to study ------

Some parents like to impose their own unachievable goals and unfulfilled wishes on their children so that the children to complete:

When I was young and not in a position to learn a musical instrument, I let my child practice piano and dance hard and be multi-talented; I am not good at learning, but I want my child to be first in the exams to get a famous school ------

The thing you can't do, but justifiably ask the child, is bound to be unconvincing to the child, the effect of education will be greatly reduced, and parents in the hearts of children will also gradually reduce.

Mo Yan once said.

"The first thing everyone receives from birth is family education, and the most influential is also family education, this education has words and body teaching, and I even think that body teaching is more important than words.

You live in this family, your elders, your relatives, what kind of way they treat work, treat others, I think will have a very direct, subtle influence on children."

Parents who can earn their children's respect and trust must be trying to do a good job and bring positive influence to their children with every word and deed and can give them effective guidance in critical moments.

Being a parent does not mean that parents can place all the unfinished issues of their life on their children and leave it to them to complete, that is not right, children have their life issues.

After having children, parents should pay more attention to their own words and actions, not give up self-growth, run a good life, pass on to their children excellent qualities such as hard work, practicality, strength, and optimism, and bring positive influence to their children's growth.