The Real Meaning of a Teacher

What I love most about being an educator is the impact that I can have in someone’s life. As a teacher, you have to have to balance humility while being assertive. Your first priority is to teach the required materials, the second priority is recognizing the social needs of your students and creating an environment for them to thrive.

For most students, they can do the tasks at hand. They have no problem with the structure of the classroom. They will come to class ready to learn. But there’s always that one. The one who needs more. The one who struggles sitting still, the one who is embarrassed that they are not on the same skill level as her peers. I saw a part of myself in a particular student. She had a rough upbringing and needed more support. She also had behavioral problems.

Her pride got the best of her.

For my girl, it was easier to throw a temper tantrum than to admit that she was struggling. She would rather be labeled as the bad kid instead of admitting that she didn’t know how to read.

I know her game, I used to be that child. I struggled with Math because I have dyslexia. My reading and writing skills were above average, but due to my dyslexia, my math skills were at the kindergarten level. I’d rather cause a scene and be labeled as the bad kid than admit that I was struggling to my peers.

Pride is a dangerous thing.

Knowing her game, I created an environment for her to thrive. We created a system so she could let me know when she was feeling overwhelmed. In the reading circle, she sat in the back so it was easy for her to walk away without her peers knowing. She would flash a peace sign, and I would flash one back, when this happened she would quietly walk back to her desk and when she felt ready, she would rejoin our reading circle.

I recognized that she also didn’t feel comfortable reading aloud, but I still wanted her to learn so I created a space where she could read to me privately without the judgement of her peers. I created a system where students could meet with me one on one during regular lessons. We would do a quick check in to go over strengths and weaknesses. For most it was a quick conversation, but for my gal, I would spend longer with her, so she could feel safe while learning to read. Kids can be cruel, especially to those who are different.

Her home life was often in shambles, her father was in jail for first degree murder and her mother was only 21. My gal had four siblings and her mom was doing the best that she could with the limited resources that she had.

The stories my girl would tell me broke my heart. I wanted her to feel loved and safe at school, but I also knew I couldn’t control what happened to her at home. She would come to school hungry and cold. She didn’t have a jacket in winter time. I would leave snacks in her backpack and strategically placed a jacket in her cubby without her peers knowing. I never wanted to embarrass her for having less, but I also wanted her basic needs met.

My girl, came to school with burn marks on her shoulder. When asked about it, she told me that her brother burned her and cut her with a knife.

I asked if here parents were home, she said they had been left alone for the weekend.

As a teacher, you have to make the tough choice of reporting abuse while also thinking of the child. The child will often get angry with you for reporting it because the parent isn’t willing or capable of changing. If the child tells anyone about the abuse, the parent will often take it out on the child. I know I did the right thing reporting the abuse and I’m ok with her being mad at me for it. I pray for her every day. I pray that she is safe and that she always has a caring teacher in her life.

I love that I was able to create an environment for her to thrive. Her reading skills improved and so did her behavior. She needed to know that I believed in her. She needed to know that she was safe and loved.

As a fellow trauma survivor, I’m happy that I was able to pay it forward. I was often labeled as the bad kid, the one who was a lost cause.

As an adult, I hate the label of a bad person. I think Bad behavior is often driven by fear. If someone is acting out, instead of judging them, let’s help them identify why they are acting poorly. The answer is often not what you think.

For my girl, she was aware of what her dad did, and she didn’t want people to know her business, which is fair. Her anxiety was stemming from not feeling safe and knowing that she couldn’t read at the same level of her peers.

I’m happy that I was able to create a place for her to feel safe and thrive. My only hope is that her other teachers will continue to create an environment for her to feel safe and thrive while learning.