THE PEN PALS

I finally settled down in the Shaw Hall of MSU, got my registration done and met with Professor Cross. He was quite unhappy with me for not letting him know when I was going to land at Lansing Airport. He was supposed to have picked me up there and helped me with my stay arrangements. He thought I was crazy to have traveled from New York by bus, although I could have flown.

As soon as I settled down in MSU I wrote a letter to Manisha. She replied to me on January 11, 1973; the same day she received my letter. We were getting closer as letters were reaching us faster. She was extremely glad to have received my letter and congratulated me for making it to America after years of hard work. She assured me of my future successes. She had sent a Christmas card to my Ahmedabad office address that I never received. Again, it was my fault; most likely I did not inform her of my travel plans. But traveling overseas those days was exceedingly difficult in India. One had to get a clearance from the Income Tax department and buy foreign exchange from the Reserve Bank of India. Getting a new passport was a nightmare; I had to go to the Educational Foundation of America office in New Delhi to take an English proficiency test (although my TOEFL score was acceptable to MSU); I endured a long line-up at the US Embassy in New Delhi for my student visa. To get three years of leave of absence from ONGC I had to travel from Ahmedabad to ONGC’s western region headquarters in Baroda (now Vadodara), New Delhi and then to ONGC headquarters in Dehradun. I was extremely busy during the last four months before I left for the USA. I believe I should be excused for not writing to Manisha about my travel plans as nothing seemed certain.

She used to sign off her letters inconsistently, “Yours Sincerely, Sherry Ann” or just Manisha Ramcharan or sometimes with Sherry Ann only. This Christian name was given to her by her teacher at the Tacarigua Presbyterian School and her friends in school used to call her Sherry Ann. But as her emotional bond with me grew deeper, she dropped the name Sherry Ann.

In her 2nd undated letter written in March 1973, she describes a serious car accident involving her and her brother. She was with her brother Mahesh, who was driving home in their Land Rover Jeep. They were hit by a car at a road intersection. Both Mahesh and Manisha were thrown out of their jeep and were seriously injured. They recovered and their family had a special pooja for them in the local Hindu temple. The Trinidad Carnival had just ended, and she enjoyed it. The letter ended with “Yours Sincerely, Manisha Ramcharan”.

In her third letter written on May 3, 1973, for the first time she addressed me as ‘My dear Arun’; earlier it used to be just ‘Dear Arun’. She was pleased to receive my last letter and was incredibly happy that I remembered her. If I did not write to her for a month she would say “you have forgotten me”. She did not know that graduate studies in America were very demanding and Ph.D. programs were invariably extremely grueling. I did not tell her this fact. I would always tell her of my exam results and in turn receive her sincere congratulations that really used to please me. She mentioned about the hurricane in Bangladesh in which several thousand people were killed. She deeply felt their agony as she was a very humane person. She mentioned in this letter that her parents wanted her to marry someone whom she refused to even see, and she cried almost for a week until everything went her way. She felt free and happy again once this proposal was dropped. She said she did not want to marry just anyone. She spent her Easter holidays with her friends on a beach and had a great time.

Her fourth letter came as a postcard with a 3D picture of a beautiful and large cake with several gifts. But this came after a long gap of the summer and was written on September 10, 1973. This was quite unusual that she forgot my birthday in July; instead, she said that “I hope you had a happy birthday.” She further said “Please do appreciate my card and forgive me. Yours affectionately, Manisha”. During the summer of 1973, I was away for geological field trips and conferences. I was accompanied by my fellow students Gordon Wood, Lanny Fisk, Enrique Martinez, and Professor and Mrs. Cross to the Rocky Mountain regions of Colorado, Wyoming, and Utah for geological work. I loved Denver; what a beautiful city it was. We visited several national parks during this visit e.g., Yellow Stone, Grand Teton, Arches, Bryce Canyon, and a few others. We had also traveled to Arizona and saw the Grand Canyon, the Impact Crater, the Petrified Wood Forest, the Cliff Dwellers, and the Painted Desert and attended the Annual Conference of American Institute of Biological Sciences conference at Arizona State University, Tempe. We also went to Phoenix. We then went to Southern California and visited La Brea Tar Lake in Los Angeles that contained extensive fossil records of Tertiary mammals and reptiles of North America. I am not sure if I had informed Manisha about my summer schedule or sent her any letter during this long and hectic summer schedule.

Her fifth letter was short and written on December 6, 1973, in which she mentions about the postal strike in Trinidad and life getting tougher in her country as the days went by. She said “Its long time since we haven’t heard from each other, think I owe you a letter. Do forgive me because we had a postal strike in our country.” She mentioned that she was dreaming of a white Christmas as we had in Michigan, and she wanted to see this magical environment. She sent me her greetings and best wishes for Christmas and New Year. Yes, before I forget, she always inquired about my family’s wellbeing in India and whether I was in touch with my parents or not. She often said to convey her regards to my parents.

Her sixth letter dated January 7th, 1974, was the first one in the New Year in which she sent me her new photo in a sari. She proudly claimed that she herself draped it on. She was going to attend a wedding. Once again, she congratulated me for my exam successes of the Fall term, 1973. Her next letter was written on March 7, 1974, in which she describes in detail the Trinidad Carnival and said “Looking at the bands as they parade the streets are very beautiful, but the people who jump and dance are quite ridiculous. This year I was surprised to see Indian girls half nude in the streets. It appears they have no shame or respect for their elders. It is surprising to see the behavior of our people. Somehow, I don’t like the carnival festival. It’s nice but everyone can’t seem to enjoy it as they should.” I felt happy with such comments because she shared similar social and moral values as mine, which were typically conservative Indian values. Her next letter was dated April 3, 1974, in which she writes about her daily chores, her contribution in day-to-day duties such as cooking and cleaning etc., the family farm and what they produce and sell. She had already shared a lot of this information with me earlier. In this letter she writes that she played cricket for the San Fernando Youth Club and loved playing it. This was something in common with me being myself a cricket buff. She was a bit concerned that she would miss her few girlfriends who were getting married.

I received a picture postcard showing the beautiful hilly beach town of Charlottesville, Tobago, dated July 6, 1974. She appeared quite upset with me for not writing to her. She wrote ‘Dear Arun, how are you? It is quite some time since I haven’t heard from you, if you do not wish to write to me again, I shall quite understand but at least do let me know; every day I wait for a letter from you which never comes. So long. Yours truly, Manisha’. This letter shook me once again. I apologized and explained to her about my long geological field trips. I believe our pen-friendship had moved on to the next level and now we were expressing our feelings for each other. I had become her incredibly special friend and she was beginning to get emotionally involved with me and so was I. Once again it was summertime and that meant long geological field trips for me. This summer I traveled to Texas to my dissertation area that was around Austin, Waco, and San Antonio where I did geological field work and collected rock samples for my Ph.D. research project. I along with other graduate students and our professor travelled to Arizona, New Mexico, and Southern California. We took a long trip to Baja California, Mexico, and at Santa Rosalia, an east coast seaport town in the middle of this long peninsula we took a ship across the Gulf of California to mainland Mexico’s port of Guaymas and drove north to California on our way to Michigan. This was one long trip and as usual during my work I forgot that my very dear friend Manisha was waiting for my letters. Again, this time most likely I did not inform her of my long travels through USA and Mexico. I know that she had a particularly good reason to be upset with me. Once again, I apologized but never learned a lesson. Student days are carefree, and I had a single-minded commitment to my studies and in that process used to forget Manisha sometimes. But only God knows I never intended to ignore her, and it was never my intention to upset her. I am deeply sorry for my carelessness towards her. She deserved an apology from me.

In her next letter dated August 16, 1974, she forgave me and wrote “I do understand the field in which your studies are, and you are forgiven long ago, sorry to accuse you for nothing.” Not only I felt relieved but also felt a deep sense of emotional attachment for her who understood me and my commitments. I realized that she really cared for me like my family did in India. In this letter she also mentions about a weeklong Ramayan path (recitation) in the Hindu temple, and she used to be the center of attraction because she wore a sari during pooja (worship ceremonies). Tropical cyclone Alma had hit Trinidad and she gave me a very vivid description of its impact on her country and people which had impressed me. This time she was also learning to drive, and she asked me whether I drove. She ended her letter by saying, “I do hope you are fine, wishing you best in your studies, write me whenever you wish I shall not bother you. Yours ever, Manisha” I am not sure if this sentence expresses her frustration against me for not being able to write to her frequently or a genuine understanding of my extremely busy work schedule. I think she understood me and my commitment to do well in my studies and hence my limited time for letter writing.

In her next letter dated September 10, 1974, she revealed something very new. She wrote, “My mother always inquires about your well-being and shows happiness whenever I receive your letters.” Manisha has all the praise for her mother and said “I am writing this to you because she wants to send you some money as gift. We are neither rich nor poor but helpful people. It is a little gift please accept. Really, I was afraid to write this to you, but my mother insisted.” She talks about her Hindi school teacher Prof. Adesh from India who taught Hindi and Indian culture. She mentions about the Indian cultural programs on local TV and radio as well. She was happy that I had offered her to teach Hindi, but she said she would learn Hindi from me only if she had a chance of going to India. During our letter exchanges she had asked me if I could visit her in Trinidad. But strangely her initial response was not clear when I expressed my desire to visit her. She wrote “I am glad you want to visit me, but dreading at the same time, people gossip so much, just can’t think what they would say about me after you leave. They would get ideas and say things that are not true and that I can’t stand. Anyway, we shall see.” I was disappointed with her reply. I guess she could not believe that I would really accept her invitation and she was not sure how her family, relatives and neighbors would react if I visited her from America.

I wish I could see the letter I wrote to her in response to her last letter. As I know myself, I must have thanked Manisha’s mother and politely turned down her offer for monetary help. I would have never considered taking any money either from her or her mother.

In her next letter dated October 9, 1974, she expresses her own guilt when she wrote “I received your letter about two weeks ago but couldn’t reply immediately because you made me feel guilty.” She continued, “My friends think of me as a coward so I shall accept the challenge. I shall be very happy for you to spend your holidays in Trinidad. In fact, I look forward to your visit. Please do come; no nonsense about coming here, we have known each other for five years. Write me as early as possible. Just can’t wait for your reply, do let me know when I shall expect you here. I do not care if people gossip about us. My mother sends her warmest ashirwad to you. I know ashirwad means blessings but asked my father to be sure.” Finally, she said, “Do study hard but not too hard.” Obviously, I must have felt relieved and extremely pleased with her new thinking.

This was the Fall Term, 1974, and I was extremely busy in preparing for my comprehensive exams. I had finished my course work, field work, had collected rock samples from my Texas trip, had processed all the samples and had prepared hundreds of research slides for my Ph.D. research. Most of my time was spent on microscopy; around ten hours every day and several more hours I spent on exam preparation. Anyone who has done a Ph.D. at a major American university knows how difficult comprehensive exams could be. In my case it was a week-long written exam which began on Monday and ended on Friday and each exam was almost a day long. The following Monday I had an almost five hour long oral exam as well. This was the most exhausting experience of my life. At times I asked myself, why the hell I put myself in this situation?

Manisha’s first letter in 1975 was written on January 13, 1975. It seems that I must have casually mentioned about problems of finding suitable jobs in India. She argued that if there was a job problem in India then why I should go back to India? She explained that oil companies in Trinidad had jobs for geologists, but they were open only for the citizens of Trinidad. There was a hint in the letter that if I became a citizen of Trinidad, I could get a particularly good job there. She also assured me that with my educational background, finding a job should not be a problem anywhere. A picture post card showing a Rosette Spoon Bill, a Trinidadian bird, was written on April 15, 1975, with just a short but rather formal letter. The next letter was written on June 3, 1975, in which she mentions about her driving test and her dress designing course. She was doing well in her class and was preparing for her exams. World famous Indian singers Mukesh and Lata Mangeshkar had planned a concert in Trinidad, and she was going to attend. Incidentally, they had performed at the Ford Auditorium in Detroit later in 1975 which my MSU friends and I had witnessed and enjoyed. Her parents had organized a Sri Satya Sai Baba pooja at the Hindu temple and she was very happy to have participated in it dressed in sari. She ended her letter, “Wishing you much more success in your exams with the blessings of Lord Satya Sai Baba.”

She sent me a short picture post card showing the archbishop’s home in Port of Spain on August 8, 1975. Once again, she was upset that I did not write to her for a few months. She wrote, “Dear Arun, I hope you are well and enjoying the best of health. I haven’t heard from you for quite some time. I wish someone would tell me what is wrong? If Arun is not available would someone be kind enough to tell me what is going on? Just feels something has happened. Hope all is fine. Yours sincerely, Manisha.” At the thick of my thesis completion, I did not expect such a chastising letter from her. These days I was working around 17-18 hours daily trying to finish my work, write my dissertation and submit it as early as possible because my leave of absence from ONGC was to end by December 1975. In this letter I saw her expression of frustration and her genuine love for me; from her words it was evident that she really cared for me. She wrote another letter just two days later, on August 10, 1975, telling me that she received my letter after she dropped her postcard. She wrote, “I kept remembering you every day, hoping that today or tomorrow I shall hear from you. I begin to wonder that anything might happen; after all you are in a strange country. I am sure you might think of me being stupid for being fanciful.” She expressed her concern about my welfare because she had heard a lot of negative things about life in New York. She said that Trinidadians are very friendly unlike New Yorkers and “I hope that someday you would be here to investigate for yourself.” She concluded her letter by writing; “I hope that Sri Satya Sai Baba would guide and protect you wherever you shall be, I do pray for you.” Her dress designing course was to end the following month.

In the next letter dated September 2, 1975, she mentions that she became ill because she was caught in the heavy rains. The letter came along with her new photos. She wrote “I am very happy to know that you want to come here for Diwali. I would be looking forward to your visit and pray to God that your work goes smoothly. If you still wish to obtain a job here, I hope my uncle would help you; at present he is in Trinidad, I am 100% sure he would help you. I told my parents, and they are also looking forward to your visit. They send their best regards to you.” She was talking about her uncle, who was a professor at the University of the West Indies in Trinidad, who later became a minister in the Government of Trinidad and Tobago. In the following letter written on September 20, 1975, she informed me that her brother Rajesh is going to take a week off from his work to show me around Trinidad along with her. She said I need not worry about the whereabouts of her home since she and her family will be at the airport waiting for me and I would be staying at their home. I just needed to inform her of the date and time of my arrival in Trinidad. She asked me if I was a vegetarian. She wanted me to come by October 25 so that she could take me to a Hindu wedding in Trinidad. In my response I told her that I will not be able to come that early because I had to attend the annual conference of the American Association of Petroleum Geologists (AAPG) in Dallas, Texas. In her next letter dated October 8, 1975, she wrote, “I am sorry you can’t attend the wedding, after all the conference is much more important for your studies. I can understand that. Now I too do not wish to attend this wedding, but my sister-in-law insists that I do. I wanted to be there if you were coming. So long until we meet.” At the end of this letter she adds, “Last night I had a very nice dream about you, it is a secret, can’t tell. I hope you have a wonderful Diwali.” This was her last letter before my departure for Trinidad.