The First Independence

by Tiffany Durham 2 years ago in college

College freshman year is not so easy.

The First Independence

It’s amazing how, in your senior year, you have this huge idea in your head about how life is going to be when you graduate. Or, maybe how you will find the man of your dreams your first day of university and everything thing will be just oh so perfect. Well, I’m here to say it’s not as easy as you think.

I had a checklist that went as follows:

  • Clean Room
  • Make Friends
  • Eat healthy
  • Workout
  • Find a Man worth your while

When I first went to school I thought it would be easy balancing these activities, and my homework. I thought my family would come visit me about once a month and I would talk to my sister everyday. Now before I go further there were more hot guys there then I have ever seen before. Anyways, my first day I spent the entire day cleaning and unpacking and I did the same on my second day. I didn’t know anyone and I was lucky enough to be on a hall that developed a closeness that, at first, was completely unbreakable.

The First Football Game

We developed a close bond within a matter of a few days. We even had a party in our common room (don’t worry it was alcohol and drug free). So on my checklist, I made friends. Well then I proceeded to keep a rigid schedule that kept me disciplined and ready to tackle any challenges. Then my world changed and I became a Christian and I had to alter my schedule so that I could go to church and read my bible. Then I met the man. The man I wanted to raise my children and grow old with. Then he cheated on me and my family fell apart. I failed my first quiz. My friends began to hate each other and I was left, alone again, not knowing what to do. At this time, I also realized I had no money. So I started working, not at a grownup job like I wanted but at a McDonalds right off campus. Now, I had no money, one friend, no life, and no time for homework. Then, one day my friend asked me to come sit down and that is the day I met my best girlfriend. She’s this amazing human being with a whole lot of sass and attitude for all the right reasons. At the same time I was meeting people and messing around trying to figure out my life. Let me tell you now, you will spend 90 percent of your freshman year trying to figure out who you are as an independent person. The other ten percent you will be wondering why you didn’t figure this out sooner. Well, I can answer that. Until you actually get out on your own, you aren’t able to prepare for it. Even then, it’s not something you prepare for. You grow into it by figuring out what you are doing and going to do in your life then you can actually focus on everything. Don’t even worry about meeting the man of your dreams because he will come once you know what your dreaming.

Your freshman year of college is all about finding yourself. You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT focus on finding friends. Focus on finding you. I would never be where I am at without the mistakes I made or the successes I have seen without figuring out who I wanted to be. So remember college is about deciding your destiny, nothing else. Who do you want to be?

Read next: The Unconventional College Life