The Double-Edged Sword of Academic Validation

I have heard some people say that ‘grades don’t define you’ and sure, I can agree with that, but not when I also crave to get the best results.

Ever since my high school years I always tend to achieve more through studying. I didn’t do sports, or joined any other club, and the only thing that I want to excel in is by studying. I wasn't a top student in my high school years, but I worked so hard to even get a B+. so, I thought the only way that I can achieve my success is by getting good grades and making my parents proud about how good I am at studying.

It’s a constant feeling that I developed throughout my life, that I always tend to seek validation from academic performance.

With this academic validation, came the perfectionist mindset.

I want to do everything perfectly without getting criticised or without feeling like a failure. I want to do everything before anyone else and I want to get straight A+’s for the whole semester even if I am not capable of getting that.

It’s like in order to be motivated or fully satisfied with myself, I need to always get the best results. That way the only thing that gives me happiness. The only way that I will be defined for my success. The only way that is worth being tested for.

But with this mindset came the burnout, that I felt so unmotivated even to do anything at all.

In my university years, the amount of work and the need to be almost always perfect, makes it less enjoyable to even study. Sometimes, I thought, what if I give up and do nothing and fail miserably? In those moments, I thought that way I would become invisible, I would not get compliments or I would not get noticed by my parents, friends or teachers.

So, when I think like that, I get so scared to fail or get unnoticed for my hard work.

So, the only solution I have is to achieve the best I can and excel in everything I do. Even if I don’t have any motivation to do anything, I have to carry myself to do that. It’s like a force you have to do to make it work.

This constant seeking validation from grades and the way our parents get happy when we achieve something academically, makes it less appealing for our mental health. It’s like once you failed a test or didn’t get an A +, they blame it on you and it severely affects your mind. The motivation there to always strive, leads to a stressful situation.

You always feel overwhelmed by getting good grades, acing every test, that you work so hard without even getting a good sleep or balancing out. It really doesn’t have to be like a burden to yourself.

The more you don’t get what you strive for, the more disappointed you are with yourself.

You work so hard and it is enough for you already. Just be proud of what you have already achieved and don’t ever force yourself to be the most perfect person out there ‘cause, no one is perfect at the end of the day. You need to celebrate, the days you tried, the achievements you made and tears of joy.

You need to identify that academic achievements are not who you are but a part of your life. It’s only a fraction of what you're capable of. You’re capable of more than that. Try to balance your life and take care of your mental well being and physical being.

Let’s not see our worth as an academic achievement, but more about the things that shape who you are, the way you talk, the things you do, your passions, your experiences, your journey throughout life, the highs and lows of your life.

After all, we are more than our grades—our potential and value extend far beyond the classroom.