Post Graduate Depression

Newly graduating University, I’ve found myself in a state of rut. It's almost like the comfort of university is gone and the reality of the real world kicks in. The notion of adulthood, which was never remotely relevant to think about, has only just sunk in post graduating.

University offered a structured routine of friends, learning and lifestyle. The question I'm faced with now is what to do with my life after uni. Over the past four years my one goal was to pass and graduate. Now that I've achieved that goal, I’m left open, and it's left me lost.

I've now found my mental health, suffering and declining at a rate I never thought it would. I expected everything to be on the rise once finishing my four year degree, not travelling in the opposite direction. The feeling of not being good enough for a certain job, an interview, an employer or even not good enough to reach a job in my industry all together is now becoming more apparent. The pressure is building as I see other people from my degree landing jobs and working full time. I feel left behind and as if I have failed in my working career before it has even begun.

My pattern of a downward spiral only seems to be getting worse since finishing. Not studying, not working, I’m only left to occupy myself with the gym, food and sleep. I'm feeling more isolated than ever. I had friends at uni, most I didn't speak to or see out of uni. I still had these daily interactions. Now I'm only left with the comfort of my pets during the day.

I pictured finishing my degree as being much different than it is. I thought it would be this positive moment where I had all this free time and be able to use all my skills and success that I learn at uni. But yet at this moment I somewhat feel a little dumb and feel as though wasted four years of my life which, I know is it true because I know I have this skill and I know I have the knowledge, but now it’s just about me getting into a position to where I am able to use it.

I keep telling myself that I need to keep busy and everything will work out. However, each day keeps getting harder and it's like I'm losing hope. I definitely thought that I would jump into a career straightaway and I'd be successful.

I'm trying not to worry about it in a grand scheme, but it's like, the more I dwell and the more I sit in this place of limbo, the more I feel like I’m letting both my family and myself down. The biggest killer is feeling like you’re disappointing those who love you. I keep trying to tell my parents that if a job doesn't feel right I don't want to rush into it and that I’m not going to apply for something I don’t have a passion for. Passion drives work and I refuse to go through life doing something I don’t enjoy. Ive seen family members hate the jobs they are in and I have always told myself that finding a job that you enjoy is the most important factor entering the workplace.

My university experience showed me that that just because you studied a well known college or University, graduate with a bachelors degree, or even a Master’s degree, it doesn't mean you have an absolute guarantee into getting a job or being successful straightaway. Thats the harsh truth and hope anyone who decides to go to uni realises these outcomes. Its also showed me that just because I’ve now got my degree that doesn’t mean I’m solely restricted to working in this industry.