Plan B: In The Works?

For someone who just turned twenty-four less than a few months ago, I sure feel aged.

—and not like fine wine, think stinky, sharp cheddar.

When I was about fifteen years old, I thought I had it all figured out. As if I knew what adulting actually encompassed at that age—hell, I could barely wipe my own ass. I mapped out my entire adult life with a vision that maybe—just maybe, I could grow up to be the best teacher this world has ever laid eyes on (if my Plan A regarding being an entrepreneur fell through).

Yeah boy, let me stop you right there...

When I was eighteen, I got my first job as a Summer Camp counselor. I was young and had three years of unpaid experience under my belt. Now at this tender, naive point in my life, I thought I was hot shit. I honestly believed that I knew everything there was to know about child care and education. I was naturally gifted at making lasting impressions on the children I worked with. Not long after, I found myself earning the title: the favorite counselor. So it’s safe to assume that I had got a little egotistical as a result of the popularity.

And that’s when my ”life” began...or so I thought.

My ego led me to dedicate nine, excruciatingly long years to the field of Education after that experience. I majored in Child and Human Development at Pacific Oaks College in Pasadena and not long after, I was scaling up the ladder in my professional life. I landed my first career as a Child and Youth Development Director back in 2015—where I was developing and managing multiple child care facilities with over a dozen before and after school programs for children.

And boy was I good at it!

Tons and tons of awards would soon come pouring in after reaching each milestone. From Team Spirit to Outstanding Employee of the Week; to letters of recommendation and acknowledgement. The praise I was recieving got pretty intense— to the point that my ego was so far out of reach, I felt like a modern day King Midas with the golden touch.

Oh someone should have kicked my ass earlier...*sigh*

So we are going to fast forward a few years into the future—let’s say about two years into my professional career when I thought I needed a new change in pace—some new scenery. Remember that golden touch I was yammering on about earlier? Yeah scratch that—that died prematurely after a couple of rock-solid, not-so-pleasant experiences at...A MIDDLE SCHOOL! *insert dramatic music*

WHEN YOU BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW

You know what they say, a hard head makes a soft ass.

During this period of my life, I was double-dipping between my child care careers. I was a part-time supervisor for a money-hungry nonprofit and a part time supervisor for another afterschool program. I had this incredible idea to operate two completely separate programs with conflicting licensing regulations and two vastly different budgets. Not to mention, the wide-range of personalities and its rigidity amongst the age groups.

Try putting on your “Calm Teacher” hat when you are gently trying not to lose your shit with screaming Kindergarteners poking each other with scissors during an art activity. Now, keeping that in mind, you now have to trek across the city to the Title-1 school nestled in the impoverished streets of Downtown Long Beach. All that adventuring to have to deal with a plethora of bad attitudes and violence.

Time to gear up and put on my “Strict B*tch” hat!

INTO THE JUNGLE, WE GO...

I’m talking Freedom Writers meet Don’t Be A Menace type shit.

I had never, in my entire life, experienced a greater amount of growth to that extent in such a short period of time.

And these kids were testing me.

Nothing— I mean NOTHING, in the textbooks had equipped me to handle this type of stress. All of those long, tedious hours put into school—completely and utterly useless. The amount of uncontrollable— unpredictable hostility amongst these ”unique” group of kids was unbearable. These kids had me running up the walls with the amount of shit that went down everyday. The amount of fights that broke out between these 11-year old gangsters was terrifying, however, it was more engaging than any MMA fight you’ve ever paid for, I bet you that!

And of course, being the responsible adult that I am, egging on the kid that actually does his work and then stopping it after a few good punches.

The explicit, vulgar language that they used—a mother would almost go into cardiac arrest after hearing their sweet, innocent Johnny speak like a sailor. If I had ever disrespected an adult the way they did, I’d be six feet under. What could possibly be worse than that you might ask? The parents of some of these children acted just like them or even worse.

Ooo it’s time for a mini-lesson!

There once was a parent, who like her child, was definitely part of a circus at one point in her life. And of course, I say that with a sincere heart! That mother-daughter duo were like monkeys—going buckwild with the smallest amount of stimulation.

One day, I had to suspend her child for attempting to bully another child for his weight. So there I was—clearing my throat and rehearsing my script to avoid being too direct and once I initiated the convo...

All hell broke loose!

“Hello, this is Teva Jenkins calling from ***** middle school. I was reaching out to you in regards to a little hiccup we had today between your child and another student.“

“So what happened to MA baby?”

”Well ma’am, we were off to a great start today and unfortunately, I had observed your child engaging in some negative behaviors with her neighbor.

Teacher Tip: You have to “butter up” the parents a little bit before laying down the hammer. You want to ease into it before ripping the band-aid off.

Anywho...

“She, as well as the other child, were engaging in what seemed to be a one-sided argument. As a result, the other child was in tears and notified my staff members and I that he had been told to jump off a cliff because no one cared about his fat-a**. Please excuse my language.”

”So you callin‘ ma baby a bully? Huh b*tch?”

Pump the brakes, I know this woman did not just call me the b-word... in front of the kids—on SPEAKER PHONE! I almost fell out of my chair. It took every ounce of my patience to tolerate her and maintain my professional demeanor. She must’ve not known that I was proficient in Tae Kwon Do and Whoop-Ya-Ass.

“ Excuse me ma’am, there is no need for the vulgar language and rude remarks. I wanted to keep you informed on the event that transpired today.”

” I dont care! You a hater-ass b*tch. I’m gonna’ have ma baby daddy come up there and break your legs. I know what time you get off too so you better watch yo back, d*ck-sucker.”

”Thank you for the head’s up. When you are a little calmer, we can continue this conversation like adults. Can’t wait to see you tonight so we can hammer this out! Misunderstandings such as these are definitely handled more appropriately in person ” *smiles*

...*beeping*

Now by this point, you are wondering what happened to little ol‘ me. Well, that night I got off at my usual time. The mother of the bully came out of a dark alleyway with her ex-convict baby daddy and a crowbar. I got my legs caved in that night and the rest is history...

AS IF!

It was in the last few hours of the program, around the window-period for pick up, that the circus had arrived!

YOU HIT LIKE A B*TCH

There I was, standing outside my office with my staff members beside me all trembling in fear. Although I was a bit intimidated myself, I was the supervisor of that site after all, so I couldn’t back down. I made a promise at the start of my career to ensure the safety and well-being of everyone under my supervision. Even for the children and staff that I didn’t like, I still had to pretend as if their lives mattered to me enough to protect them as well.

Grab your popcorn now, I’ll wait for you...

(Read this next passage as if you were the narrator for a nature documentary. Think “Planet Earth”)

In the distance, I could see the wild Mother in her natural habitat—the urban jungles of 7th street. She, along with what appeared to be another one of her cubs, was spotted walking up with a purse (probably filled with her latest kill) in hand and a “struggle bun” — a natural hairstyle for the darker-toned Karen species. As seen in figure 1A and 1B below:

The wild Mother continued pacing forward with her young, on the prowl and ready to hunt down her prey. The younglings of my pack had elder staff members watching over them, herding them quickly into the cafeteria dwelling in hopes that they too would not be a meal for this blood-thirsty beast.

Of course, the younglings and elder staff watched out of the window mortified as they watched me, their Supreme Alpha, standing there alone and face-to-face with the hungry Karen.

Her prowling stopped abruptly. The wild beast was hesitant but still keen on claiming my life to feed her and her younglings. It was going to be a long, harsh winter and she knew that she needed to do what she could to survive.

And scene! Okay, okay, we can get back to the actual story now.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again! Would you like to step into my office for a quick chat?”

”Hell no, you gon’ tell me what the f**k you finna do right now”

”I would like to discuss the consequences as a result of the incident. I wish to speak to you in my office, away from listening ears. I would hate for anyone to know about the repercussions.

” Stop usin‘ them big ol’ words f*ggot, tryin’ to act white, like you too good to be here!”

She yelled as she got in my face in efforts to intimidate me. She was tall and built like a linebacker so, of course, she used that to her advantage. I mean—I’m just a 5’11 twig, no difference there right?

Now by that point, I had enough of her disrespect and took my earrings off in anticipation for a punch to the face. If she did try to swing at me, I’d definitely be knocking her out—especially if I were to see my own blood. I then stepped back onto a small concrete stair to physically exert my dominance and to meet her at the same eye level.

She must’ve not know who she was talking to. My mom definitely did not raise any punks in her household. Back to the story...

”Ma’am this is what a formal education will do for you”

“You tryin’ to be funny? Don’t be tryin’ to act all hard. What are you takin‘ off them earrings for b*tch?”

“Lady, I’m going to let you know right now that if you hit me, I’m going to protect myself. I will never put hands on a women first but I will definitely defend myself. Go for it and hit me so I can hit you back and probably knock you out.”

She was hesitant and her eyes grew wide.

“I’ll have my baby daddy up here tomorrow to beat yo a** , watch your back when you walk to yo car at night!”

”That’s what I thought. Oh, and I will be calling the police and filing a report against you. Let’s see how ballsy you get after you talk to them.”

“Whatever, I aint scared of no cops. I been to jail!”

”Noted, good luck then.”

She corralled her kids and stormed off shortly after.

Eventually, I had to report the altercation to the police, as well as inform my supervisor of the incident. Her child was immediately removed from the program that same day and was expelled for the remainder of the year. Fast forward to a few days later when the police called to follow up with me. They informed me that the mother had an existing record and she was given a letter from the principal and police stating that she could no longer be on the premises of the school. I never saw her after that incident and luckily, I resigned from that godforsaken job.

So what did we learn from that day children?

We learned to not f*ck with me!

Great job kids, you all get cookies for snack today!

TO BE OR NOT TO BE...

Are you wondering if I decided to stay in my career or if I decided to venture out?

Well, as I mentioned before, I dedicated nine EXCRUCIATINGLY long years to this field—picking up some useful tips and tricks over the course of my tenure. Along the way, I’ve had a fair share of pros and cons. I learned a lot about myself and how my actions impact the lives around me. I’ve learned how to become an attentive listener, a stronger speaker, a better mentor, and most importantly, a seasoned leader. It took an ample amount of negative experiences to emerge victorious—turning every bad moment into a positive, learning experience for myself.

...

With each passing year, I would try to explore my options in efforts to venture out of the nest to find a new passion. I’ve always had a love for unconventional creativity and many great influences have served as an inspiration. Take Frida Khalo for example, such a lovely woman. Her desire for art became a necessity in her life as everything had a unique meaning. She would then articulate those emotions and thoughts—her experiences through her artwork. Truly a brilliant mastermind.

I am far from being a brilliant mastermind and my ideas for my future are spread thin amongst the various projects that I have created—all to which are still unfinished.

And that is because I tend to jump from one project to another... but anyway—

I could hardly establish a true connection with my various passions—enough to dedicate a firm amount of years to. That is because I spent so much time perfecting a Plan B for myself to have in case of emergency—think along the lines of a fall-back option. Once I established myself in my Plan B, then of course I’d be granted the right-of-way to pursue my Plan A—becoming an entrepreneur.

I realized that I had exhausted my resources for my Plan B and kept falling back to it time and time again, thus resulting in the nine years of paid labor in the field of Education. I can’t complain too much as it has improved my quality of living dramatically, however, I need some time to recover before taking on another one of life’s lengthy challenges. I plan on using a similar rinse-and-repeat method for my Plan A—similar to that of my Plan B, however, I will do that once I‘ve built some energy back up. As for now, I will kick back and enjoy a nice vacation away from screaming children, dysfunctional parents, and money-hungry institutions for the time being.

I DON’T NEED IT...I DON’T NEED IT...I NEED IT!

My experiences thus far have proved (at least to me) my resilience and dedication to my Plan B. Although I am satisfied with my accomplishments, I felt the time slipping away from me. I was and still am in need of a new journey. One that doesn’t involve me slaving away for hours on end for ungrateful children who do not know any better. A journey that does not require being talked down to by crazy parents and almost having my legs broken by an ex-con. One that doesn’t keep me bound to a clock from nine to six with incompotent higher-up’s pointing the finger and bossing me around. I’m tired of sporting multiple hats because pulling one off and putting on another exerts so much energy—energy that I could put towards a passion that ignites a greater flame. If I have to sit through one more meaningless lecture...if I get sneezed or pooped on one more time...if I get hit in the face with a basketball one more goddamn time, I’M GOING TO LOSE IT!

I yearn for a journey of true bliss. One that keeps me passionate—one that keeps me motivated to level-up. One that makes me feel like I have not worked a day in my life because it is something that I love to do. That is why I plan on moving out of state by the end of this month. To get a fresh start and the chance to reset my trajectory. To rework the map I had made nine years ago when I was a young lad and reroute it towards a new destination—one that will shape and influence the rest of my adult life.

Because what is the purpose of being miserable in doing something you love?

Alas! I have stumbled upon a major contradiction!

You can’t do the things you love and be miserable doing it— it doesn’t work like that. You do not love it if it makes you miserable.

I have come to terms with myself and what I want. I’ve outgrown that area of my life and plan on starting anew.

I mean—who doesn‘t want to spend the rest of their life doing the things that are worth living for?

NOT A ”GOODBYE”— BUT MORE OF A ”SEE YOU LATER”

Now that I got that off my chest, I can finally say, with confidence, that I am going to change my life and continue leveling up. It seems as though my Plan B is no longer in the works and for now—I am going to focus on what makes me happy.

A new Plan A.