Education logo

Moving Back to Mum's at 25

Why 'Coming Home' Isn't as Bad as You Really Think...

By Heléna Mary-AnnaPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Like

So my names Heléna, I'm 25 years old, a Gemini and I've just moved home for the first time properly since I was 18. Not something I ever saw myself doing ever!

When I was 18 and heading to university I was so excited to get out! Get away from bickering about chores and arguing with my brothers; but mostly, I just wanted to be independent and free to do what I wanted to for me. I mean, a definite positive was being able to come home drunk and not get the third degree about being drunk.

But no one tells you really after university that it actually gets harder... life. There's more expensive rent, there's bills and grocery shopping and travel expenditure... list goes on. Now, I live in London, and I can tell you that you realistically need a proper job to survive the concrete city jungle life.

But this is where I admit the whole I left uni telling myself I was going to be an actor full time (no one leave uni really doing this). And I've heard all the classic, 'how can you afford it?' lines you can pull out of the bag. But I managed, like a lot of us have to.

Snap back to 2017: I am in a full time job which is decent. I'm an admin girl and the company is well respected. I also just got accepted to train at a drama school. A good one, too. Big deal. For any actor it's a huge deal to say you got one of 30 places on that course. But, like anything, it costs money. And drama school training costs are probably equivalent to going to college in America.

I didn't really have the saving I could pluck out from anywhere. I couldn't afford to pay rent and pay for bills and everything else with the added cost of school. Even though I knew deep down I was getting further along, I felt like I couldn't keep myself afloat. I tried to lead both lives but the stress of everything eventually grew too much and I had to look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were full of dark circles from trying to work three jobs, in between pantomime rehearsals so the actor-me would still be progressing. I looked pale and tired. Drained emotionally. And I remember myself letting out this big sigh. And I cried. All this emotion from over-adulting came out and I felt like I couldn't cope. It wasn't meant to feel like this.

So I swallowed my pride. I called my mum and asked to move home at Christmas until further notice. One of the hardest phone calls ever. I had always told her I was never coming home. I felt as though I had to be hitting rock bottom and I was so close to smashing into the floor. So the day after my pantomime finished I packed my bags, got on the train and came back to my little box room, a single bed and no space to swing a cat. Low point.

But when I walked through that door I felt an immense feeling of relief. Here was my mum looking after me. And I loved the sound of people arguing about stupid things like taking the bins out. I missed it all. It made me feel like it was not that bad.

So I've now been home properly for a month. I'm actually on the sofa with the dog who has come to stay for the Christmas holidays asleep on my feet and I'm decorating my room. Fresh start and all. That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.

So, after the roller coaster how do I feel? Sad? Miserable? A failure?

No, I'm actually happy, and realized it's really not a big deal to come home. None of us really know how to adult: we are all finding our own way there and after this past few months I now know it's okay to 'take a break' and refocus. Life is about ups and downs and as a 25-year-old actor, I know there is always a silver lining. So I am telling myself to be positive and to relax, 'cause my life has got a long way to go yet.

student
Like

About the Creator

Heléna Mary-Anna

25. London based actor. Gemini. Wine lover. Food lover. Prosecco drinker

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.