Memoir of a Nursing Career

The Road that led to Nursing

I was the firstborn in my family, with siblings coming seven and ten years later. My parents married and divorced twice, drank and argued, etc…I came from the original dysfunctional family. As a child, I had no input in decision making, yet I was determined that my siblings should be shielded from some of the hurts and insanity that I had been exposed to. So early on, I became an advocate.

My life took many twists and turns, and I developed my own unique dysfunctions, married three times and had four children before I ever thought seriously about going back to school. When I was thirty, my ninety-two-year-old grandmother had a stroke, got a decubitus ulcer, and because of the endless hours my mother and her sisters put into “helping” her, they too, began to manifest latent illnesses. I felt pretty helpless because I was limited in knowledge. My youngest was in first grade and soap operas bored me, so I knew I could no longer just “do nothing mentally.” I enrolled in college. I chose nursing over teaching, but both interested me. I graduated in 1992.

The Journey Began

The first few years of my nursing career were very frustrating ones for me because I was busy assimilating theory into reality and becoming increasingly angry with the “business” of nursing. Hospitals have the priority of making a dollar. Nurses have the priority of making sure their patients are safe. Many times, those two paths don't run parallel. I was limited in knowing that I had power to do anything about the conditions that we, as nurses, found ourselves in. So, burn out came frequently. In fact, there was a point that I stopped the madness and took a short sabbatical to reassess my life, my career choice, and get my anger under control.

The article above was written in 2023. I began my nursing career in 1992. Not much has changed, I'm sorry to say.

Core Values and Leadership

Being a leader requires mastering the art of being a follower. Now, I've never had a problem following anyone that I believed either had my best interests at heart, was extremely smart and efficient, or that was just quirky and fun. But, I am a rebel otherwise. "Things" just have to make sense to me. I've had some struggles in adulthood...humor often got me through bad times and bad bosses. Humor is especially useful in Nursing.

As I became closer to my Lord and began to see that He had created me for a purpose that I could only fulfill through Him, my world became re-framed and took on true meaning. This meaning energized me with the passion to make a difference and to show others that they can make a difference, too. Nursing became more significant for me.

In the Spring term of 2005, I stepped into the academic arena of Nursing. I became a nursing/clinical instructor. I had never felt more passion in my work. I would go on to have fifteen rewarding years of service in that capacity before retiring.

My career as a nurse was an enigma for me. You see, I am an introvert. At times, that is the nice way of saying that I don't like to be around people too much or too often. Nurses are supposed to be caring, compassionate, and have a great amount of patience and tolerance, right? I'm not at all saying I have the leanings of a sociopath, but I had to work at my people skills. I did better at educating patients and students than I ever did sitting at the bedside holding their hands. But, in reality I did both. And I truly cared even though I wasn't always great at showing that.

I don’t think I set out to be a “leader” because I never fully understood that term. I had confused it with people in position. But in being a leader, I became cognizant of those in my life that are impacted by the decisions I made and by the words of encouragement and affirmation that I gave, the questions I asked, and the stance that I took.

I still strive to bring the light in a dark place and to be the salt that adds flavor. I could not be effectual and give if I was empty, so I realized to be the advocate and leader that I was meant to be, I needed to daily go to "The Source."