I Was Homeschooled and I Turned Out Fine!

I was homeschooled growing up, 2006-2016, pulled out because my parents didn't quite agree with the teaching philosophies and practices of the local school district. I’ll divulge this fact in conversation with new and old friends, and usually, the response I get to that is, “That reads.” They’re right. It absolutely does. There’s some profound subtlety about my character that makes people think, “It makes sense that he was homeschooled.” It’s unclear whether or not that’s a good thing. However, with the advent of distanced learning, a lot of parents are considering homeschooling their students, for a good reason. At the beginning of the pandemic, the infrastructure was not in place for effective remote learning all across the country, on every level of education. I know this. My last semester of college went online midway through, and that entire period of time, the goal changed from “learning” to “keeping my GPA intact,” and teachers were mostly just trying to hold themselves together. I learned effectively nothing, other than the fact that university administrations only seem to view students as liabilities, but that’s a rant for another day.

My point is, a lot of parents are looking to see how homeschooling or sustained distanced learning will affect their child in the long term. As someone who survived ten years of homeschooling, and went on to get a four-year degree in a very-much-physical (up until the last bit) university, I can give it to you straight. It’s a mixed bag, and it’s not for everyone. Obviously, it’s a hands-on experience for parents, and my own did a very good job. Additionally, full disclosure: I completed a cyber charter school program, which, while technically homeschooling, is done through an external resource. I personally went to Commonwealth Connections Academy (now Commonwealth Charter Academy), and the program was fairly identical to your typical public-school experience. So, if you’re looking for something for your child that can be completed from home, but is also equipped to handle remote learning, I highly recommend cyber-schooling.

But that’s not what you came here for, is it? You’re wondering, you know, how I am. Was I so profoundly socially stunted in college that I floundered miserably? Yes and no. I was not stuck at home all day during my formative years—albeit I spent significantly less time around people my age than most of my peers—and spent a decent amount of time with theatre groups, church groups, and library groups. That being said, because my social circles were so concentrated and niche, I had an awful lot of trouble, early in my university experience, adapting to a more generalized in-person social matrix. I was awful at recognizing faces, because I was more used to my meaningful social relationships being names on a screen. Of course, my experience is not the only experience any homeschooler could have. Other people who learned through Commonwealth Connections Academy either started later (so they had their own social circles from their public/private school days), or had more opportunities to socialize with people their own age outside of the computer screen. It’s all a matter of the culture inside and outside of your house. If you can keep up a social environment for your child, there probably won’t be much of a marked difference between them and the other people out there in the world. To that end, in deciding between homeschooling and cyberschooling, cyber schools often have a vast array of field trips and clubs available where students can meet other students their age, so it’s a little easier to acquire that social component.

Quality of education was normal. I wish I had more to tell you, but honestly, those years were a blur. They passed, for the most part, without incident, and I learned basic math, science, history, and reading comprehension. I had the time to work on my passions, perhaps more than people my age, but because I was passionate about theatre (a social trade), it was more in an echo chamber than I’d care to admit. What I will caution against, however, is exactly that: Do not form an echo chamber for your child. Growing up, I did not interact with a diverse array of people. They were either my family, library patrons, or Catholics. As a result, my sources of information and social commentary were skewed heavily in the direction of the equilibrium my family had struck. It’s harder to cultivate that echo chamber these days, I’ll admit. I had zero social media until I was 15, and wasn’t even allowed to use YouTube until I was 14. I went to school when the social matrix of the internet was still more or less in its infancy, and as a result, it was deemed unsafe by the people taking care of me. It is very important, therefore, for you as a parent to allow your child to adapt to the times and not, either accidentally or not, dogmatize or restrict their access to information. Mine did not do that, at least, not to my knowledge, but I fear for the children in families that do.

In the end, I always say, “I was homeschooled and I turned out fine.” I’m not lying. I’m fine. I have a degree, a job lined up, friends, a creative circle, and about 1,200 shares of Dogecoin (TO THE MOON). A lot of that was my upbringing. I had many opportunities. More importantly than that, though, was the fact that I could make it work. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter as much as you think it does where your child goes to school. It’s about whether or not they grow up to be personable, compassionate, equitable people. If you think that homeschooling or cyberschooling your child is going to help them become that, go for it. And if you and your child believe that in-person learning is optimal, considering their personal tastes and your household’s resources, go for that as well. I won’t stop you.