I've Been Waiting for This Day to Come for 13 Years
I'm not getting married or engaged. I'm graduating from High school!
I have waited for this day since I was in eighth grade, just wanting to be done with people that don't care about me, the homework, and get my diploma. Now that i'm a senior, I can taste the end, and it tastes good.
I got "senioritis" my sophomore year, in my first semester. It was a FAT mess; well I was. I was in a new school with new teachers, people, places, and everything that had to come with it. I didn't know that I had "senioritis" until a senior told me about what they were feeling, and it was exactly what I felt. Except hers was a lot worse than mine.
I wouldn't blame her, to be done, and go onto another chapter in life. I was looking forward to being independent, and doing the things I wanted to do, and not have someone tell me what to do. But then my junior year came.
Junior year is divided into two groups of people. The ones that are ready to be a senior, and leave behind high school, and those who are scared to leave, and move on into the world, but still wanting to be done. I was the second group, I had become so scared of what was going to happen once I get my diploma, they never prepared me for how I was going to feel, and that's what scared me the most. My older sister was a senior at the time, and I could notice things that had changed with her. She didn't go out very much with her friends, she actually enjoyed driving me to school. Things were changing with her, and I didn't know why, and knowing now, I understand why she was acting so differently.
Starting senior year, our administration is actually showing that they care, and want to leave behind a legacy of our school, within ourselves. Our school is based off of how much pride we have. In sports, schooling, arts, and being the best mostly. From when we have started the year dealing with college, applications, scholarships, finishing classes, and dealing with certain people a bit longer has been the biggest struggle.
But the thing that changes the most is relationships. You think about every single person, and your relationship with them. Not getting into a relationship because you're going separate ways, not making as many friends (or making so many, because why not), and the way your friends treat you changes the most. And that is the hardest to understand, that they are telling you things, and saying things that hadn't seemed like a problem before, but are now. It's been the hardest thing to have going on, especially when you're lost.
But I think back about my younger years and the drama, chaos, and scandals don't mean as much to me as the good memories that I've had with them. While yes sometimes I want to rip their heads off, I'll remember all the things they've done for me. The food trips, sport games, giving rides, talking on the phone, taking care of streaks, loaning clothes, and everything that friends do for you, they have done at some point. And that matters in the long run; the effort, care, and love given.
I sometimes can't believe I will be done with school (besides college), and that I will be moving on in my life. Everything that I've done paid off, and i'm being rewarded with a little piece of paper, a gown, cap, and the feeling of accomplishment I will have when I walk across the stage.
I can't wait to have that feeling, and to say "I did it. I really did it."