How To Seduce Anyone With Psychology

Normally, you go around more interested in your own thoughts and ideas, and you're locked in your head. It's like a record, like in the old final days going around and round around the same grooves, right? You just switch it around, and you tell yourself the other person is more interesting than me—their life, their thoughts, their ideas. It's like an undiscovered world; it's like going to Tahiti or something and visiting another culture. They have experiences you've never had, a world that's not your world. It's fascinating; they're like a character in a movie. I want to understand it. If somebody did that to you suddenly in the office or in the realm of male-female seduction, you would feel it. You would go, "Wow, that's rare," and you would be halfway seduced by just the attention.

Okay, so the main thing is to get them to talk about their childhood. Obviously, don't go saying, "Tell me about your father." Just get them to talk about their early life without being too inquisitive, without making it clear that that's what you're doing. Everyone has this kind of emotional attachment to their experiences as a child, to where they grew up, to their parents, to their family, to their earliest friends. It's got all sorts of emotions surrounding it that are very potent, yeah, and uncontrollable.

So, a very kind of slip-in question about someone's childhood, and then asking a few leading questions and letting them do the talking. If you're peppering them with questions, you look like a lawyer. If they do 70% of the talking, they're not even aware that they're doing that, but you're letting them talk. You're letting them be the star, but you find a foothold into what excites them, and you get them to talk and open up about their childhood. Then occasionally a question, and then occasionally you go into your own life to sort of show, "Oh yeah, you had that. I had something very kind of similar." Mirroring people is a slightly manipulative trick, but it's very powerful. They're starting to tell you things about their childhood that are powerful; you go, "Yeah, I had something very similar," and you probably have had something similar. Yeah, that's a really potent way of connecting to people, but you've got to be subtle. It's an art to getting people to talk and open up, to finding that thing that lights their face up, that gets them excited.

You know if you touch upon a subject, and you see that they get nervous or they laugh a lot, they're very excited, just put that in your little index there and go and return to it. Knows you've hit upon a chord, a subject that either excites them or gives them fear or whatever. There's something very powerful going on there, right? It's kind of like the ancient Greek play of Oedipus; he killed his father and then ended up marrying his mother, crazy, yeah. He never realizes it until he's in his late 30s, and he's gone through his whole career as the king of Thebes. Suddenly he's made aware of it through various things that happen. It's like, "Oh my god, really? I've done all that." This is what my life is, and he's so overwhelmed that he cuts his eyes out and blinds himself as proof of how blind he was. Wow.

So, the Greeks are saying in that play that we're all kind of blind; fate kind of pushes us around, and we're not even aware of it. The moment of feeling enlightened about becoming aware of some of these patterns in your childhood is actually a great moment. It's very painful, but it's very powerful. In the course of a conversation, somebody says something a little bit disturbing or a little bit strong, and they go, "Oh, never mind; I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Forget about it." Obviously, you're not going to forget about it. It's going to sit in your mind, and the seed has been planted. That's the kind of thing that insinuation is. It's never something direct; it can be in your body language. It can be in the fact that you appear, in your words, not to be interested in someone, but your look, your eyes say something different than what your words are saying. Your look is insinuating desire while your words are kind of neutral and blank. It's the art of planting seeds in a person's mind where they go home after they met you and think, "What did he say there? What did he mean? What was that gesture?" If you get people to think about you when they go home, you're halfway towards a seduction because your spirit has entered their mind, and now they're thinking about what you said, about what you did. We all have anti-seductive tendencies—talking too much, preaching, judging people, being sort of brutal with them, being in a hurry, not listening. If you can just eliminate these anti-seductive tendencies, you're going to go a long way to improving your social interactions.