Forgive Us Our Debts

Colin’s brain was fried. Is it too late to switch majors? he wondered. Quickly calculating the many credits he would have to make up if he did, he determined it was best to press on with what he started: a major in English.

He hunched over his desk in his bedroom slaving over an advanced grammar assignment when his mom knocked on the door. Her head popped in.

“Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads up--I’m leaving for my doctor’s appointment. I might be late for dinner so just heat up some leftovers in the fridge. Okay?” she told him.

He nodded without looking up from his work as she closed the door behind her. Colin continued his assignments until dinner, ate cold pizza, and after finding nothing worth watching on TV, decided to go to bed early. He checked the kitchen clock as he passed through on his way upstairs. Tick. Tick. 9:30. Colin didn’t act like a typical 21-year-old on a Friday night, but he didn’t care. Sleep meant more to him than any party or the friends he didn’t have.

The next morning Colin woke up early and shuffled downstairs to find his mom already in the kitchen sipping fresh coffee. Leaning against the counter, she stared absently into the distance. The boards creaked as Colin stepped on the hardwood.

“Good morning. Want some?” his mom gestured with her mug.

“Pleeease,” he groaned like a zombie.

Pouring him a cup, she asked, “Hey, I saw a couple yard sale signs nearby when I was leaving yesterday and I was thinking of checking them out. Want to join me?”

“Sure,” Colin shrugged, taking the mug from her.

“Ya never know, we might find something rare and worth lots of money!” she joked.

Colin half-smiled and shook his head. “How did your doctor’s appointment go yesterday?”

“Oh, you know. Just some routine bloodwork,” she brushed off. Colin thought, she seems on edge, but decided not to press the issue.

“Let’s leave in 30 minutes. We can grab lunch after shopping. Sound good?” his mom quickly changed the subject.

Colin nodded as he blew the steam away from his mug.

* * *

Driving from yard sale to yard sale, they chatted about work and school.

“I don’t know how I’m going to be able to pay off this semester. As it is, with the school’s payment program, I’ll be paying off my degree til I’m like 50,” Colin sighed.

“Well, hopefully that grant you applied for comes through,” his mom encouraged. “You’ve kept up good grades every year so that should help. Maybe Mr. Cook will give you more hours at the shop too.”

“Yeah, I could ask him,” Colin mumbled as he looked out the window. Trees and houses whizzed by as he pondered his financial burden.

Silence surrounded them until his mom pulled up to another house too small to contain the amount of junk spilling out.

“Okay! Last house!” his mom sang. “Maybe you’ll finally find something cool here.”

Climbing out of the car and greeting the owner of the house (and of the junk), they began browsing. So far, nothing had piqued Colin’s interest. His mom, on the other hand, had found a few vintage records and an antique lamp. “Isn’t this cool? Oh, Oh, check this out!” she’d point out excitedly. At least someone was having a successful Saturday.

Listening to his mom barter in the background, Colin half-heartedly dug through a mildewed cardboard box of books. A few partially-finished puzzle books, an untouched self-help book, several historical and classic novels…He tossed through the pile until he stumbled upon an unassuming notebook. Nothing special. Just a black, leather-bound notebook. But something drew him to it, an odd sensation like a faint whisper. As if the book found him. He riffled through the pages, the spine not even broken. This could come in handy with taking notes in class. He flipped the book over, the neon circle tag listed the price. Twenty cents? Oh, yeah. I’m getting this.

They paid for their items, grabbed lunch, and ran to the grocery store before heading home. When they got back, Colin unloaded the groceries before dashing upstairs to his room. He shoved the notebook in his backpack, planning to use it on Monday. Slumping at his desk, he turned on his laptop to check his emails before finishing his final homework assignment. His eyes skimmed the list landing on RE: Final Payments Due. He slumped further in his chair. He huffed and clicked on the email reading:

“Good afternoon, Colin. This is just a reminder…”

Yeah, yeah, Colin muttered to himself. “Your final payments are due by…” Ugh. Let’s just add that to the debt I’ve already incurred. I’d give anything for an extra twenty thousand dollars to pay off everything, he despaired. He closed out his emails, pushed his anxiety aside, and tackled his last homework assignment. He carried on until dinner, watched a little TV, and later slipped into bed. As his head hit the pillow, his mind drifted into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

That Monday afternoon when Colin got home from class, he bounded up the stairs and checked his school emails. Another one from the billing department. Now what?

“Good afternoon, Colin. We are pleased to inform you that your debts to the school have been paid in full…” Colin froze. His eyes were fixed on the words “paid in full”. It must be a scam. Right? He looked at the words again. Paid in full. There it read in black and white. Is this real? Colin thought, his heart racing as he dialed the school’s phone number to confirm. After 30 minutes of redirecting his call, holding, and repeating “Are you sure?” at least five times, he hung up the phone with a sign of relief and leaned back into his chair. Nothing. He owed the school nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip.

Colin raced downstairs to tell his mom the good news.

“Mom! You won’t believe what just happened! My--” Colin’s voice stopped at the sight of his mom standing by the sink staring out the window with her phone in her hand.

“Mom?” Colin approached. “Are you okay?”

She started at the sound of his voice. Taking a deep breath, she began, “I just got a call from my doctor. I had some concerns when I saw him last week.” Colin’s brow furrowed as she continued, “The results from the bloodwork came back and confirmed what I suspected.” She paused. Steadying herself at the counter, she delivered, “It’s back.”

Colin’s mind reeled at the news. How? Why? Is this some kind of sick joke?

“The doctor wants to run more tests, but he’s confident we caught it in time.”

“How?” Colin breathed sinking into the wooden chair at the kitchen table. The clock on the wall ticked louder than it ever had before. Tick. Tick.

His mom crossed the distance between them and hugging his head she told him, “I know this is hard to take, but we have to stay positive. It will all be okay.” Her reassurance sounded more like an attempt to convince herself.

The clock ticked. “You had something you wanted to tell me. What was it?”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah,” Colin shook his head, knocking his thoughts around. “I got an email from school: my bills are all paid. The grant I applied for must’ve come through after all,” Colin replied, still trying to process everything.

“What?! That’s great! No school debt looming over your head anymore! What a relief!” his mom applauded. She welcomed the distraction.

“Yeah.” Colin sat in disbelief. He glanced back up at the clock. Tick. Tick. How could the same hour bring both the best news and the worst news?

Exhaustion took over. Colin’s head throbbed. He needed time to process everything that had just happened. Excusing himself, he climbed upstairs to his room and threw himself on his bed. As he lay there, a chill ran down his spine, the hair standing up on the back of his neck. He felt a presence in the room. The sensation felt similar to when he found the… He shifted to the end of his bed. It can’t be.

He stared at his backpack tossed next to his bookshelf. The room froze to an eerie chill. The sun's last rays disappeared beneath his window sill. Time stood still. He rose and edged towards the bag reaching in and pulling out the little, leather notebook. His heart pounded, his pulse palpitating his peripheral. With his gaze fixed on the book, he stood motionless for what seemed like hours. Then he leafed through the pages. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. He flipped through again. Nothing. Nothing. There. On the last page, a single sentence appeared. His body shivered and his fingers tingled. There, written in scrawling, black ink:

“Be careful what you wish for.”