Finishing College

So today I finished college. It’s a weird sensation. Miles different to the feeling of finishing at my secondary school, or the one (and only) year of A-Level I did. With those situations, there were loads of people celebrating the exact same event. All basking in the short-lived freedom they earned. Shedding tears, saying goodbyes and congratulating fellow students. Not the same here.

Where at the end of sixth form (or GCSE's) there is a set date where everyone leaves at the same time, at college you can leave whenever you complete all your assignments. You submit them all, resubmit if need be, and get signed off by your tutor. And no one really finishes at the same time. For example, another student named Millie finished last week and Ryan finished this morning. What comes with this is no group celebrations or congratulatory exchanges between STUDENTS. Of course my tutor (let’s simply call him the tutor) shook my hand and said “well done” and “it’s been a pleasure” and sent me off as any lecturer or teacher should do; rather than simply saying “you’re done, now p*ss off,” which I’m grateful for of course. The same was with another lecturer (this one likes R2-D2 so we’ll call her R2) who, again, shook my hand and congratulated me.

Most of my friends from the course were still working towards finishing, and I couldn’t exactly jump on their desks shouting “HAHAHA I get to leave and never come back!” or “HEHEHE you have to stay and do stuff!” I wouldn’t do that of course (d*ck move), but by trying to make a big deal out of passing the course, it would have a similar effect.

I guess the conclusion I’m coming to is that it all feels…. anticlimactic. Like the end of The Sopranos or Star Wars: The Force Awakens (YES I SAID IT… STAR WARS IS OVERHYPED TO HELL AND BACK). I wasn’t expecting a marching band or confetti, as I triumphantly walked out of the college with my classmates – nothing like that. But I guess college has always been a very different experience to school or sixth form. For a start I had no exams, the course was all coursework. And only having to come in three days a week (sometimes two) was pretty chill.

All in all, college has resulted in some very random moments. Now as I’m sure you’re aware, memes are a thing. But have you ever looked at a Kenco Millicano machine and managed to make those two words a meme? Because I have.

One day earlier in the year, some classmates and I are walking out of college through reception and past the vending machines. One of these machines was a coffee machine. I’ll give a half-eaten Fab ice lollipop if you can guess what brand it was (speaking of that, I expect ad revenue from Kenco Millicano… everybody knows my blog is the best way to advertise coffee). I looked at the words, turned to Ross and just said “Kenco Millicano.” Two days later, it had become a meme in our class. Our group chat has Kenco Millicano-themed nicknames for everybody, and I now had a life event on Facebook, which stated I had begun working for Kenco.

It is worth noting that Star Wars prequel memes were raging through the internet, so Kenco Millicano was of course bred with famous quotes from the trilogy. Here are a few examples.

"I am the Kenco."

"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Kenco Millicano?"

"General Millicano!"

"I have the Kenco!"

"You underestimate my Millicano!"

And my personal favourite...

"I don't like Kenco Millicano. It's Kenco...and Millicano... and it gets everywhere."

I could literally go on for hours. You know what? I might. But some other time.

Most of the best moments come from the people you meet. For example, spending an entire half an hour car journey just making the weirdest noises and laughing your arse off. Or spending an entire hour-long recording session quoting Star Wars or, in the case of Ross and me, quoting Pirates of the Caribbean and laughing your arse off. Or inexplicably taking zoomed in snapchats of people and laughing your arse off.

The point I'm getting to here is that college has produced quality memories, great laughs, and experiences I wouldn't have gotten had I carried on with sixth form. So don't be afraid to change your plans, or introduce new ideas into your life - you might find it was one of the best decisions you ever made.

I know going to college was one of them.

Nick Paul

For Those That Don't Know...

*Please read in David Attenborough voice*

And here we have, a wild meme. This breed of "meme" is known as a "prequel meme;" a species, which for some reason, has finally spawned over ten years after the delivery of its original material.