Experiences Shape Us

Our own experiences and our own losses shape who we are as people. The idea of loss is discussed in "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”. The poem’s deeper theme encompasses the concept of death as well as facing the unfulfillment of your actions in life. The poet wrote this as a way of grieving his father's death, and the feelings of hope and loss that come with it. Tim O'Brien's short story "On The Rainy River” discusses a similar idea that certain traumatic events can make you lose parts of yourself and who you once were through their actions or the actions of others. The short story discusses Tim O'Brien's decision to go to the Vietnam War and his hesitation to do so. Adversity and challenges shape who we are; they come from ourselves or others.

In Tim O'Brien's short story “On The Rainy River” we can see how war changes people. We can see how the wills of society impact people's decision making, which caused Tim O'Brien to make the decision to go to war, changing himself forever. As a product of war, Tim O’Brien experienced extreme Mental Health issues. How that decision affected Tim and that it made him feel horrible continuing to carry those memories and thoughts with him even after leaving the war is depicted through the following quote; “There was a slim young man I would one day kill with a hand grenade a long a red clay trail outside the village of My Khe.” (Page 11). The feeling of regret is echoed throughout the short story; “I was a coward. I went to the war.” (page 12). The idea of making decisions that you regret based on what society tells you is right has damaged many people. It damaged Tim O'Brien and it's damaged me. When I was about 13 I had a good friend who was adopted and she was living with her adopted mother who fostered little kids. One day after many discussions with my friend and the situation that she was in, she called me and invited me over. She asked me to call social services because she wanted to leave when she was 12. Even though she begged me that summer to call them I never did because I thought that it would be worse for her at foster care. By thirteen my friend started to do drugs and began dating men in their twenties. By fourteen she was gone from the house for days and her mom didn't know or care where she was. By fifteen she was basically raising those foster kids and by sixteen failed out of traditional High School. Today she is seventeen and she's no longer my next door neighbor. I heard from a couple people who know her that she's planning on moving out with one of her 20-year-old boyfriends. I will regret not making that one simple phone call for the rest of my life.

“Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night” by Dylan Thomas is about this man's father passing away. It mostly hinges on his hope for him to keep living and that if he dies now he will have so many regrets just like all the others before him; “And you, my father, there on the sad height, / Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.” ( stanza 4). This idea of wishing that people would just stay alive is something that I have wished for many years. I have had several experiences with death. I've not been extremely close to all the people but I've known them. I've known over a couple dozen people who've had struggles with mental health and I've known several who have lost that battle. Unfortunately I have lost several people in my life and I know people who are on the list for MAID, also known as Medically Assisted in Dying. Sometimes I wish the people in my life would just find a reason to live, “/ Do not go gentle into that good night. / Rage, rage against the dying of the light” (Stanza 4). In the poem this pure desperation of wanting someone that you care about to live resonated with me deeply because of my life experience.

There are many aspects of life, specifically difficulties and hardships that can change the course of our lives and change who we are. The hardships that we face in our lives can be our own, or fueled by society like with Tim O'Brien and his decision to go to war. Only later did Tim realize the emotional scars that he was left with. As individuals we may not realize how harmful society's decisions can be, and the damage that it can do to us if we follow them blindly. Another event that can change our lives forever is lost, and the idea that people can make decisions that hurt us. The idea of loss mixed with hope is embodied in the poem “Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night." This author's poem captures the fear that people have of loss and the hope that life will remain. Ultimately we need to be able to make decisions of our own accord and allow people to make their decisions without fighting them no matter how much it may hurt us or change lives. I have grown more mature and understanding of loss and the harm that the world can do to you at a younger age. Knowing this has made me more grateful for the good things that I have in my life. We need to accept that humans evolve, and change over time. The change of the people around you changes you as an individual.