Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ By by Daniel Goleman

Top 20 lessons learned from the book -"Emotional Intelligence "

#1 Rational and Emotional

It is mentioned in the book that there are two different bits of intelligence. Throughout our lives, we make decisions by being influenced by these two types of intelligence. Who we are, what we do, our reactions depend entirely on it. The underlying reason for our very clever actions or our irrational but feel-good behaviors depends on these two types of intelligence.

#2 IQ Isn’t As Important As We Think

IQ can’t get you beyond being a good employee. It makes you graduate from school, but it can’t find you a job. When you go to the job interview, your diploma cannot answer the questions during the interview. You need to have good communication with the person who will hire you. It all depends on your emotional intelligence.

#3 Areas of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is responsible for our motivation, awareness, empathy, and relationships. They’re all interconnected, and if you’re bad at one, you’re more likely to be bad at the others.

#4 The Emotional Brain Is Stronger

The outer upper part of our brain is the part where we make rational decisions, while the lower part is the part where we make emotional decisions. No matter how rational beings we may appear, we can very easily be deceived by the emotional brain. We can find excuses to trick the rational brain into doing what the emotional brain wants.

#5 Others’ Feelings

Thanks to our empathy, we can truly understand how others are feeling. If we could not distinguish between happy or angry people, there would be incredible chaos. Beyond these two basic emotions, we must develop an ability to empathize. In the absence of empathy, our communication aspect is affected very badly.

#6 Motivation

Our motivation, which enables us to endure the problems we face for a long time, is also a product of emotional intelligence. We can convince ourselves that we can solve problems. We can remain optimistic and have hope for the future.

#7 Awareness

One of our most difficult aspects to develop is our awareness. We must practice understanding how we truly feel. We must ask ourselves questions. We must listen to ourselves.

#8 Relationships

Relationships cannot be let go. It must be managed. This requires mutual tolerance and understanding. If you know how to resolve conflicts, it turns into a happy relationship for both parties.

#9 Negative and Positive Emotions

Our emotions change every moment, but the longer negative emotions stay, the more negatively they affect our lives. It prevents us from being successful in our work and relationships. Fortunately, these feelings are not difficult to change. You can learn to turn negative emotions into positive ones.

#10 Productivity

When your emotional intelligence gets stronger, your creativity starts to increase. Regardless of your field of work, you will start to see serious differences in your productivity. It will increase your performance. Longer hours allow you to work with the same efficiency.

#11 Emotional Intelligence Is The Key To Success

Since we cannot live a life independent of our emotions, the higher our emotional intelligence, the higher our quality of life will be. We know that successful managers are experts in managing their emotional intelligence. You can also take them as an example.

#12 Leadership

A commander cannot direct an entire army by saying “we are going to war”. You can’t manage a team by just saying what to do. You need to understand your team’s current feelings and level of motivation. You should encourage them to work. You have to use your emotional intelligence for all of these.

#13 Teams

Average talent teams that get along well with each other are more productive than gifted teams that don’t get along. It doesn’t matter how well a team with low emotional intelligence is in control of the numbers. They can’t even decide what to try to do.

#14 Stress

Difficulties at work and in our relationships put us under stress. Stress makes it difficult for us to find solutions to problems. When we can’t find solutions to problems, we get more stressed. To get rid of this dead end, we need to know how to manage our stressful situations.

#15 Marriage

The secret of long and happy marriages is sincerity in your feelings. If your marriage was not built on this basis of intimacy from the very beginning, it will begin to crack over the years. Even small problems become unsolvable. You have to be emotionally open at the beginning of the road.

#16 Leadership

Leadership does not mean dominance. Leading your colleagues to a common goal and making them believe in the reality of this purpose. Successful leaders are those who can keep their team’s motivation alive for many years. You have to make them desire the work to be done.

#17 Emotions Are All Normal

Anger, hatred, love, happiness… You can understand when and under what circumstances these feelings will emerge by following yourself. You may have these feelings depending on how you interpret the events you encounter. The important thing is to be able to react independently of your feelings. You may find yourself making promises that you cannot keep because you are happy, or you may resort to violence when you are angry.

#18 Being able to Express Your Emotions

Not everyone’s level of empathy can be very good. You may be in a difficult situation immediately. You may feel bad, but people may not understand it. In these situations, you may need to express your feelings a little more directly.

#19 You Are Not Your Emotions

Keep doing what you need to do, no matter how you feel. Success is achieved by people who cannot give up no matter what their feelings and thoughts are. Don’t let your feelings affect your actions.

#20 Timing

As soon as you feel a different emotion, try to think before you act. Because emotional intelligence moves faster than rational intelligence, it can make you act irrationally and make you say any unnecessary words.

Book : Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ - By by Daniel Goleman