Black girl

Racism has been an ongoing pandemic for years. From slavery to civil rights, from civil rights to police brutality, and from police brutality to Asian hate.

As a growing child I was raised in an environment where there were people from various backgrounds

I saw the world as a place where everyone loved each other and a place where all people were all equal--

That was until I started elementary school.

Everything began when I first started kindergarten. I had just finished preschool and everything was still pretty new to me. One day my teacher didn't come to school which meant we had a substitute. Me being the young naive girl I was, I thought that meant we'd have a new teacher who was equally as nice.

"Good morning everyone, my name is Mr Brown," he said.

We all yelled back,"Good morning Mr Brown,"as he found his way to our original teachers seat.

Mr Thomas was a skinny young Caucasian man with brown hair and the worst attitude. Our day went normally and most of my classmates enjoyed our substitutes presence including me, that was until Mr Thomas gave us an assignment which everyone had almost finished.

As I was about to finish my assignment I realized I had to use the bathroom, following classroom regulations I raised my hand to seek permission to go to the bathroom. Mr Thomas quickly paused from collecting papers and instantly looked my direction.

"Yes," he asked with an annoyed tone.

"May I please use the bathroom," I asked innocently.

Mr Thomas looked as if he had never heard those words before. In fact, he looked so confused you would've thought he'd never spoke English.

That same moment Mr Brown came up to my desk, leaned close to my face, and said words I had never heard in my life time.

"No, you black girl."

I was confused. Did I do something wrong?

I sat at my desk quietly as I watched him allow almost all the Caucasian girls in my class leave for the bathroom.

I wanted to cry!!!!

I sat there and finished my assignment and when it was time to go home I rushed out the door. I met my mom at the carpool line and she stared at my white stockings with a concerned look on her face.

"Kayla, did you spill water on your pants," my mom asked in concern.

"No," I replied.

That moment she looked shocked and disturbed as if she could read my mind.

"What happened,' she asked.

I told my mother everything that had happened. About the new substitute, how rude he'd been, and of course the bathroom incident.

That same day we went to the principles office, little did I know that was the first of many times i'd be reporting an incident like this. My principle looked shocked and shook in fear as my mom threatened to report this to the school board. You may be wondering why I stayed in that school but it was because my principle assured my mother this would never happen again.

There was another time with my first grade teacher Miss Carver, she asked a question which was rightfully answered but i got a write up claiming i used bad words when i was never raised to do so nor used it at her. I got bullied in class many times but the teacher never did anything about it and to destroy my reputation she tried putting lies on me and even denied when my mum stepped in to report to the principle.

Another culture shock i had was with a mate called Zebedi, whiles in class he pointed his finger on my head and said "I am going to point a gun on your head and shoot, because you too smart" this scared me very much and till this day the thought of it terrifies me badly.

I'm now older and I've matured tremendously. I no longer see the world as that place I thought it was, but surprisingly i'm glad I had these experiences. I'm glad I've had these experiences because I now see the world for what it truly is.

As we grow people will always have something to say. If not our race then our looks. If not our looks then our inner appearance. And it goes on and on and though i'm young i'm pleased to say I don't have to pretend to care.

If we truly want to make the world a better place we should spread love. That doesn't mean stand still and be bullied but choose to spread love than hate.

Love yourself because your beautiful!!

Don't love yourself because you get complements and don't hate yourself because you don't.

Be the best version of yourself and choose to spread love because love can fix anything!