Back to School (Part One)

A lot of you may not have known that in a previous life, I was a high school English teacher. It was a job that had its challenges and a lot of them I don't miss at all. But they were good times for me for the most part. I was lucky to have supportive colleagues, now friends, and work in a school which was well led.

It was a time in my life where I felt useful but I found the balance between school and home really difficult. When I decided to go part-time, that feeling worsened as I was torn between being a good mum and being a good teacher and doing neither role very well. I think that a lot of women, no matter what job they do, feel this way.

Eventually, an opportunity to move to Australia came along with my husband's work and we both decided that we would give that a go while our boys were still relatively portable, being so young, and so I left teaching. It was in many ways a sad day where I lost a little of my identity really. When you tell people you are a teacher, it is respected - for the most part.

However, it's not an environment that I've rushed to get back into. It's a hard life, being a teacher, for many reasons. For me, it's what you're expected to do after you've already done a full day that puts me off. So much marking. There is a part of me though that wants to return - to give back, as it were and to help people to achieve their goals or even, just to get somewhere else. Qualifications can do that.

Today, I am returning for a few hours only to observe. I reached out to a local school and they have agreed to have me in to see a couple of lessons.

My reason for writing this is like a before and after. I want to record it. At this moment, I am feeling a little nervous but it is mixed with excitement. I don't feel apprehensive but that may be because I am only a passive participant in today's education excursion. If I was heading up a class again, I might feel differently.

Today is about assessment, which is apt, is it not? I am there to assess whether or not this is something that I can do again and there are certain things that I am going to be looking out for:

• the dynamic between teacher and class
• discipline
• attention span after COVID
• different teaching methods for shorter attention spans
• language focuses - more grammar? more spelling? Where does the onus lie now?
• is it a happy place to be?

I'm not sure what to expect. I am veering between it being very similar to what I've always known to so radically different I feel like a fish out of water. Part of me realises that there will be changes but fundamentally, the principles are going to be the same, surely? Teacher explanation at the front of the class leads to discussion or completion of task? I'm expecting more technology and a more visual approach.

I leave in about 10 minutes. It is unfortunate that the day that was offered me clashes with the day that my youngest goes to France on an exchange trip and so, I am unable to stay for the duration of the full school day. But I am hoping that the time that I am there will provide me with enough of an insight to show me if it is the place that I belong or if those days are well and truly behind me.