5 signs of a child with low self-esteem

Why do children develop low self-esteem?

Improper home education is often the root cause of low self-esteem in children.

If your child conveys these 5 behavioral signals, parents must pay attention, that is a manifestation of low self-esteem or character.

Excessive shyness and fear of making a fool of themselves

In a happy family gathering, each child is showing off his or her talents to the fullest.

Only Jazmin hid behind her mother in silence.

When it was her turn to perform, she was forced by her mother to sing, and she performed badly.

Her voice was as small as a mosquito and her face turned red.

Her mother hurriedly rounded up, "My child is just shy".

Jazmin is not only shy on such occasions, but even when children play games, she dares to watch from the side.

She said she was afraid to participate because she was afraid that others would not welcome her.

Jazmin often tells her mother that she feels that she is not good enough and that people must not like her.

Jazmin's mother was worried: This is not a shy character, but an inferiority complex.

Overly sensitive and glassy-eyed

Some parents have complained that their children are very "glassy-eyed".

"I can't put together Lego, so I cry".

"The parents cry when they are not concentrating on the piano.

Children are so fragile that they often scare the whole family to speak carefully, fearing that a careless child will make them cry again.

In the class group, when she gets along with her classmates, she also gets into arguments over small issues.

When the teacher says something, the child cries with aggression.

These "glass-hearted" children find it difficult to accept and even hold on to criticism from others, especially criticism.

What's worse, people around her are not talking about her, she always used to put herself and the "bad reviews", and then lash out.

This kind of glassy-hearted child has a seemingly sensitive personality, but in fact and their inferiority complex, has a lot to do with the psychological.

Too well-behaved and understanding

A friend's family is a two-child family, since there is a sister, the sister has become very well-behaved and understanding.

This does not match the age of understanding, so friends are both happy and worried.

Once she could not touch her favorite toy, but now she will give it to her sister.

When playing with other children, she is always very considerate and accommodating to other people's ideas.

One day, the child came home from school frustrated and told her mother that

She sat straighter than anyone else in the class, and to her grief, the teacher did not praise her.

Before going to sleep at night, her mother snuggled her older daughter into her arms and talked to her.

The daughter told her mother that since her sister was born, she was afraid that her mom and dad would never love her again.

All were answered.

The friend said she was in tears.

The child is worried that adults do not love her, she is all pleasing and repressing herself.

In fact, behind the understanding is a deep sense of inferiority that is not worthy of love.

Excessive jealousy of others

It was once reported that

Angel, an 11-year-old girl from a city, refused to go to school after her parents divorced and her mother remarried and had a little brother.

She also asked her mother to stay close to her and even "degenerated" to the point of drinking from a bottle and asking her mother to feed her.

When she was admitted to the hospital, she was so thin that she was skin and bones.

She made a chilling statement.

At that time, she wanted to starve herself to death and was particularly happy to see them so anxious.

Famous psychological counselor Wu Zhihong once said.

"People who are jealous at heart, their happiness is not based on their continuous efforts, but comparison with others."

When a person's happiness and sorrow are controlled by the outside world, she must be terrible and extremely miserable at the same time.

Not only are they prone to low self-esteem, but they all inevitably live with anxiety.

Avoiding competition

At the beginning of the new semester, it's time to choose class officers again.

Some parents said that their children did not want to run for class president.

When the parents asked why, the child said that because she was not good enough, others would not choose her.

The child is afraid of and avoids competition everywhere.

The parent was worried and said that she wanted to be strong in everything, but inadvertently, she had raised a child with low self-esteem.

The writer Imani once said.

"Inferiority complex appears not terrible, as long as the inferiority complex on the table, to find out the causes and performance of inferiority complex, calmly face, inferiority complex will become a paper tiger, a poke on the broken."

No child is born with low self-esteem, the reason why children have low self-esteem, most of them are from improper family education.

So, what kind of parents, will easily cause children's inferiority complex?

1. always yelling and scolding children

A parent once shared a very inspiring incident.

She said her daughter was very talented in drawing, and she often praised her child from the bottom of her heart.

But her daughter seemed to be not good at math, and every time she taught her child math, she would get angry and yell and scold her child.

Over the years, her daughter became more and more fond of drawing, and she got better and better at it.

But the child's math is getting worse and worse, when it comes time to write math problems, as long as the mother sat next to her, she even shivered.

Harvard professors have done experiments: "Children who are often yelled at and scolded by their parents will become dumber."

At the same time, the sound of parents' yelling and scolding will become the child's "inner voice of criticism".

"I'm not good enough", "I'm useless"...

This denial and criticism will make the child inferior.

In the long run, this inferiority complex will penetrate deep into the marrow of the bones, making the child afraid to try, afraid to have imagination and become timid.

You're careless yell, a harsh scolding, this "discriminated against" feeling, may become the child's future, no matter how hard to get rid of the shadow.

Therefore, a family can speak well more important than anything else.

A parent who can reasonably control the emotions, and not take the child's matter as a vent, is the most qualified.

Children's growth needs positive energy, parents give their children the warmest parenting, and the child can grow positively and become optimistic and confident.

2. Undertake the growth of children

With such uncompromising parental care, children will become dependent, and then become passive about learning and life.

In the long run, parents will face more and more growth problems for their children.

Because they have been overtaken care of by their parents since childhood, children will lack the ability to deal with problems.

At the same time, they will be afraid to face problems, have no initiative, have low energy, and have low self-esteem.

When these children grow up, they will either nibble or live with low self-esteem and anxiety.

As parents, we need to know how to let go. We need to stop "taking care of" our children and let them have the opportunity to grow when they do their things.

3. Perfect education for children

A pair of highly intelligent parents are perfect and efficient, and they are very successful in the workplace.

But when it comes to their children, they are at their wits' end.

When their child draws, they hold their child to their standard of perfection, always complaining that they don't draw well here and there.

When children write their homework, they will dislike that this stroke is not straight and that sketch is not written correctly.

Often late at night, the child is still under the parents' demand, constantly erasing and rewriting, just to meet the parents' perfect requirements.

At some point, parents noticed that their children often said negative things like, "I'm stupid" or "I can't do it.

The child is slowly becoming inferior to his or her parents' high standards of perfectionism.

The child says, "It's the same anyway, good or bad, no recognition."

He even begins to give up on himself.

Brody once said.

"The best way to ruin a person is to make him pursue perfection and reach the extreme."

Parents want to help their children say goodbye to low self-esteem, first of all, to help children say goodbye to "I can not".

Parents need to lower their standards for their children and help them gain satisfaction and motivation from their behavior.

Slowly, so that the child can regain self-confidence.

Parents should not be too nervous about their children having the beginnings of low self-esteem.

Every child with low self-esteem, they are angel scattered on the earth, they are just temporarily lost.

The wisdom and power of parents' gentle education and love is the light that lights up their self-confidence.

As parents, we must truly recognize and accept our children from the bottom of our hearts, allow them to make trial and error, and protect their young hearts.

May our children grow up with confidence, sunshine, optimism, and strength under the patient guidance and careful care of their parents.