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5 Quick Ways to Pay Back Your Student Loans

Having trouble paying back student loans? Don't worry any longer, these steps will work for you!

By Corey AdkinsPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Top Story - December 2018

One in four Americans under the age of 30 are in debt from student loans. In fact, Americans as a whole owe about 1.3 trillion dollars. Although that is just a portion of what the Trump tax cuts are going to cost, it doesn't seem like help is coming anytime soon for students. With no way out, here are some tips to paying back your student loans as quick as possible.

1. Stop looking both ways when you cross the street.

You have probably been told at some point in your life that pedestrians have the right-of-way. This may be true, but drivers still continue to blow through yield signs and ignore crosswalks. That is why it is time to stop being careful. If you are at a crosswalk, just go for it. If you blindly walk into the road enough times, odds are you will eventually get hit. If you survive, you can sue and hopefully earn enough to cover your medical bills and student loans. This sounds risky, but a few broken bones from getting hit by a car is not as bad as the mental pain caused by years of crippling debt.

2. Beg 100,000 people to give you a dollar.

Your student debt may seem like a lot of money at first glance. It may look like more money than you will make for a very long time. But if you take a step back and divide your student loans by the number of people living in America, the number doesn’t seem that high. There are over 300 million people living in America as of 2018. With 300 million people, how hard can it be to find 100,000 people to give you one dollar each?

3. Donate unnecessary organs to science.

If you consider yourself a pretty healthy person, then this might be the right move for you. As science is advancing, the need for healthy organs for transplants and research is growing. There are almost 80 organs in the human body, but you do not need all 80 to survive. These are the organs that you can live without:

  • Spleen
  • Stomach
  • Reproductive organs
  • Colon
  • Gallbladder
  • Appendix
  • Kidneys

If you need some fast cash, donate one of these organs at your nearest Organ Donation Center.

4. Sell everything and live in a car.

Living in a car comes with many financial benefits. Not only do you not have to pay rent, you also can earn extra money while you are just hanging out in your new home. Apply to drive for ride-sharing companies, such as Uber or Lift. You will be able to rack up plenty of hours since you have nowhere else to be. Want to take it an extra step? List your new home on AirBnB! This will give you a break from driving and provide a cheap place to crash for other in-debt college graduates!

5. Don't pay your loans back at all.

I know what you're thinking, this is a terrible idea that can cause even more financial and legal burdens in your life. You are right. That is why you cannot do it alone. The idea is to start a movement where every single person in America with student loans just stops paying them back. Think about it, would the American government really throw 81,250,000 citizens in jail for defaulting on their loans? It would cost twice as much to keep everyone in jail than it would to pay off the debt altogether. Losing that much cash would really put a damper on the expensive vacations to Mar-A-Lago, now wouldn’t it?

These suggestions may not be ideal, but neither is needing a college degree to work at a minimum wage job. The system screwed over students, and now it is time for students to screw over the system. Good luck.


About the Creator

Corey Adkins

Comedy Writer and Performer in Chicago. Graduated from Columbia College Chicago.

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