White shirt, green pear

For years, I was afraid to wear a plain white shirt because of a woman.

It all starts with a movie. Can not remember what kind of a movie, only remember the play as a devolved educated young actor fell in love with the mayor's daughter, and unexpectedly, but was strongly opposed by the stubborn mayor. Helpless two people had to every moonlight hazy, ran to the village outside the river secretly meet. Say, every day in the river side, and that night, the heroine did not appear, the male protagonist against the wind of the countryside melancholy, he wore a white shirt, and the shirt in the trouser mouth, a hand fork in the waist, that posture, is still my heart's immortal idol!

Although the mayor's daughter eventually married the son of an upstart entrepreneur, their love story ended in tragedy. But the image of the man in the white shirt standing against the wind by the murmuring river in the moonlight is still seared into my mind.

At that time, that is, when I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I once imagined that I would become such a man: knowledgeable, self-possessed, kind-hearted, dare to love and hate, and always keep spotless in the midst of fame and fortune, just like his clean white shirt... As for the end of man's love, I have never considered it.

I always wanted to have a white shirt like that. It took root in my teenage years, but at that time, my family's economic conditions did not allow me to buy new clothes, and I could only pick up some relatives and boys who were about my age. When I was 18, I started high school, and for the first time ever, I bought a new piece of clothing, one of the few in my youth that I had longed for for so long - the white shirt. That shirt is really white, whiter than I imagined, I put it on like the hero in the movie, and happily attended the first class of high school.

Later, I always washed this shirt very white, as if it represented my soul, and never let it be stained with a speck of dust. I wore this white shirt for half a year, and later, when playing a game in a physical education class, I was unfortunately pulled by a bold girl in our class, and opened a long slit from the back. The moment I saw the slit, I knew that this kind of damage could no longer be remedied. I did not finish the physical education class and went back to the classroom. Because, I always feel that this tear is not only a white shirt, but tore the good mark in my heart.

The next afternoon, I came to the classroom as usual, which know, when I took off the bag and tried to put into the drawer, but was blocked by something, I opened a look, is a new white shirt, shirt with a note: I am really sorry, your clothes to break, I do not know whether this fit. Signed: Clear. Qing is the bold girl.

I instantly looked up and looked at the clear position, she was smiling at me, saw me looking at her, and made a face at me. At that moment, my face blushed, because I read a inexplicable tenderness from the smile, this tenderness is familiar, I thought for too long, and then finally found its ontology, nothing else, it is the expression of the heroine in the movie, remember that she is also smiling at the hero. I stopped for a moment and thanked Qing with great shame. That afternoon, I invited Qing to eat a meal, at that time I was very short of money, can only ask her to eat a meal of Lanzhou beef noodles. It is also this bowl of ramen to enhance our understanding, the white shirt that Qing sent me I did not wear once, but I have already entered the role of the movie, the heroine is not someone else, is Qing.

That is not a suitable time to say love, I turned my idea into a beautiful story, published in a local evening newspaper, and then took the newspaper to clear, clear after reading, the instant I promoted all over, said I was a genius in the class, which is very let me happy for a while.

Dry high school life others have lived very depressed, but I am very happy, because there is clear.

After the college entrance examination, I and Qing were admitted to the same city, but she was in the center of the city, and I was in the university town in the south of the city. The city is so strange to me, strange to only one person and I know; The city is so familiar, familiar because there are clear. It's just that our school is so far away that we need to change buses three times to meet her.

Later, we agreed to take a compromise and chose a park with mountains and lakes in the middle of our two schools to meet, and it was in this park that I made my first declaration to my parents. At that time, Qing did not say whether or not, then pulled me up, rented a boat, and rowed to the artificial island in the middle of the lake. It was a warm weekend, warm to write this text, the cheek side still have a smile.

At that time, we had the happiest time of our lives. I took a part-time job as a planner in a company on campus and gradually got a financial source. Then, we will go to see the new movie, eat the city's most fashionable malatang together, go to play the carousel in the middle of the park lake...

Qing is a woman who likes to eat pears, but she only likes to eat green pears. She said that green pears have a pure fragrance, which is not found in mature pears. I like to quietly see the appearance of eating a pear, only to see a whole pear into a clean pear core. Once, I looked at, I do not know when, tears covered the face, Qing asked me, what is wrong, why do you cry, is not let you eat, you are anxious. My tears turned to laughter, I did not know, I was reminded of the ending in the movie, which is why I have been afraid to wear that white shirt.

In my sophomore year, the company where I worked part-time suddenly closed down, and I could only rely on my family to cover my expenses, at first, I would call home, and then, if I could not open my mouth, I had to ask for help from an intermediary company, which introduced me to a job at McDonald's, working 8 hours a day and getting 12 yuan an hour. And I don't have time to spend it.

After understanding my situation, Qing also volunteered to join the part-time team. She found a career as an amateur model in a student production group in the art department. Every weekend, busy in the major brand clothing stores to do publicity.

At this point, we barely see each other once a month. Sometimes, it is not easy to see the last side, Qing will be called away by a sudden phone call. Qing is a beautiful woman, tall, and excellent temperament, so soon became the pillar of the performance group, many companies are pointing to her presence.

In my junior year, I re-planned in another company, and the income was quite considerable, but at this time, Qing participated in a city flower miss selection where our university is located, and finally, Qing won the title of "Miss osmanthus" with the first place. All of a sudden, many acting companies are looking for her to sign. At that time, I strongly opposed, and advised Qing to give up performing arts career, because, clear reading is a teacher's major, do a glorious teacher how good, why have to get involved in the chaotic show business. However, Qing, who has always been obedient, decisively refused my request this time, and signed a contract with a cultural communication company called "purple cuckoo" without hesitation.

That is, shortly after Qing signed the contract with this company, our relationship also came to an end.

The breakup was proposed by Qing, on the grounds that she had found a new lover, who was very good to her. The night I received Qing's message, I drank a whole bottle of Erguotou alone in a shop near the school, and when my roommate found me and took me to the hospital, I threw up all over the floor and was already unconscious. In the hospital, I tried to call Qing's phone, just hoping that she could come to see me, but unexpectedly, she flatly refused. At that moment, tears streamed down my cheeks, wetting the white pillows in the hospital. At this time, I once again think of the movie in my youth, think of the man in the white shirt, it turns out that we are destined to be in the same boat, but I am more tragic than his ending, although he did not and his beloved woman eventually married, but the woman's heart is still his, and I?

It was a sad time, my mood has been imprisoned in the trough, no one can save me. So, every night, I would hang out in that cafe downtown. A cup of Colombian coffee, no sugar, is said to be so bitter, but I do not feel the slightest.

The wonderful college life soon drew a successful full stop, so 4 years, I did not harvest their perfect love. My love is about to mature, but others picked up the sickle. The city was a sad place for me, but after graduating from university, I stayed here and worked as an economic reporter for a local evening newspaper.

Every day out to interview, I often meet Qing, but she is on the stage, I am in the stage. She walked on the stage with a bright face, I took pictures under the stage with a sad face, and then quickly returned to put the photo with a caption in the evening paper that day. I think, such a day is very painful, Qing's performance company is second to none in the local, many large-scale performances are invited to them, and Qing is an indispensable pillar. Therefore, whenever I do such a report, the scars in my heart seem to be lifted once, which seems too cruel!

I decided to cut Qing out of my life, so I applied to the leader for a transfer to the current affairs Department. Every day to and from the meeting site, single-minded to do the current political news, Qing, this woman, finally no longer tired of me, but I quit the Qing, forget the story of the white shirt, every night in the cafe, but can not quit the cup of Colombian coffee, can not quit the bitter taste.

A year later, in that same city, I married a Chinese teacher after being introduced by my classmates. She was a very virtuous woman who always kept her house and house in good order. Married life is very happy, I also gradually out of the shadow. How do you know, half a year later a news has once again evoked my memories. At that moment, tears poured down my face. It is curled up in the evening entertainment edition of a very small corner of the news: "My city 'Miss osmanthus' suffering from cancer incense meteorite." I read the whole story in one sitting and, my God, it's really clear...

My head was immediately covered, and there was an immediate feeling of vertigo, and the scenes of two years ago were played back in front of my eyes like a movie...

That afternoon, I was going to the flower shop to buy a bunch of chrysanthemums to see, at this time, the Courier company sent me a letter. The letter was written in advance. The letter said --

Hello, old friend!

Please forgive me for calling you that, please forgive me for leaving without saying goodbye. Perhaps you can not forgive my determination, in your eyes I may have been an unfaithful woman. However, I still want to thank you, because when I was young, you gave me love and gave me good memories to warm up.

Qing, in front of the bed

That day, I was in tears to attend the memorial service for Qing, after the memorial service, Qing's sister with red eyes called me aside, choked and said to me, my sister has always loved you, but she got cancer two years ago, she repeatedly asked us not to tell you this news, unless you are married, otherwise, never say......

Qing's sister ran away crying, and at that moment, I was silly there, as if my throat was blocked by a hardwood plug. It took him a long time to cry out, "Qing --"

The memorial hall, draped in black gauze, was empty. I once again think of the days related to Qing, think of her boating, think of her eating green pear, I put Buddha heard her say, hi, friends, if you still remember me, in the annual Qingming festival for me to buy a few green pear...

For years, I was afraid to wear a plain white shirt, just to remember Qing.