Two is Better Than One

My Roger, He’s a Trumphead. A confederate flag hangs in the front yard. He can rattle off ten complaints about the Biden administration in less than five minutes. He hates the fact that Biden shut down the oil pipeline and put people out of work.

I’m pretty sure I’ve heard him grumble about following “a little girl” in regards to environmental policy. You wouldn’t think the man would care a rat’s patootie about the environment. But he does. Especially if it somehow includes time with me.

We leave a grocery store and he grumbles about the plastic bags. Something about it going to the landfill, but I don’t prod enough to have him clarify. That would be an entire afternoon’s worth of ranting. I’m not up to it just now.

But, on the drive home, I tell him all about this Wave Maker contest, and what the prompt says. He surprises me with an open willingness to attempt changes in our own household. Together, we take on the project to eliminate waste and help improve our carbon footprint together. Two is better than one, right?

Initially, I’m so excited. Between the two of us, I’m positive we can cut back on the damage we do. However, I make the mistake of locating a carbon footprint calculator online. Ouch. Our footprint’s crazy high. And that doesn’t include my own trailer, only Roger’s house where we live. I lost a lot of optimism.

Later, we have what I call the ‘shower incident.’

“I thought we could talk about this environmental thing,” he interupts my nightly shower-bath.

“Right now?” I sigh as he leans, arms crossed, against the bathroom wall. “Okay, just let me finish up. That’s one way to get me out of the shower.”

I stop and stare at him.

“I thought not wasting water would be a good way to start,” he responds, meeting my gaze with a straight face.

Part of me wants to snap at him and say nasty words. But I can’t. Because he’s right. And he knows it. Brat. I’d like to say I was valiant after that and only took showers as speedily as I could to help out our poor old beat down planet. However, I'm just not that good of a person. Epic fail, as the kids would say.

Still later, in the middle of my hour-long pre-bedtime routine, he decides we should talk about the project more. He has ideas he wants to go over. And, just like that, what had sounded like an adventure became a routine of sighing, “Hang on. Let me go get my notebook if you’re really gonna play.”

The thing is, If a liberal leaning independent and a Trumphead leaning independent can iron out their differences enough to become better planetary stewards, then maybe there’s hope for the planet after all. We can’t do anything about the government's policies or the rest of the world. However, we sure can cooperate at home. Sort of. I’m sure you’all understand when I say, ‘sort of.’

In a divided household, I’ve found it’s important to focus on what we DO agree on. What are we willing to do together to make a difference? CAN we make a difference? Better yet, Can we make MONEY from making a difference? Probably not, but it’s worth the effort. Some ‘going out’ money, maybe?

As we contemplate the project, we have many questions and odd ideas. We brainstorm, watch videos, and have discussions. That’s good, right? If we don’t keep group-thinking this environmental stuff the planet faces, nothing will get fixed at all. And the messes really will get too big. But it has to be a conversation, not a battle.

Holy shit. Were you aware that my store bought cinnamon rolls have the frosting in single use plastic containers?

Being a sanitation employee gives Roger a unique perspective, and so our focus is mostly on composting and recycling. We watch youtube videos on making compost bins. I hate watching youtube videos. But I do it. We take notes. Well, I take notes. We discussed some more. We add a paper/cardboard garbage can to the kitchen and explain its use to the boys.

While raising my own children, prior to meeting Roger, I learned that setting an example is the best way to lead others. Not that I’m always so good at that, mind you. However, I have indeed managed to set good examples a time or two.

With that in mind, I’m hopeful our discussions and actions at least plant seeds in the boys’ brains. Seeds can grow up into amazing creations.

I’ve noticed many times lately how the young people starting out in the world don’t have basic planet care concepts.

One day, while grabbing fast food, the young lady at the register grabs a plastic bag for my order.

“Oh, I don't need the bag,” I blurt quickly, before she can put my food in it. She throws the bag in the garbage bin. It never touched anything but her hand.

“I could have done that myself, thanks,” I mutter softly as I exit. I guess not using plastic bags when you don’t need them was a fad that’s past. No one cares to bother anymore.

Life happens. We get sidetracked. Discouragement happens. If all we had to do was try to make changes and lower our footprint, maybe we could get somewhere. How does a busy family, with adult children, children at home, and parents requiring our attention make any difference in their own footprint, let alone enough to matter to the planet?

This is impossible.

Have I mentioned that I swallow an over the counter arthritis medicine every 12 hours, everyday? Daily living, for me, creates single use medicine bottles with no recycling options.

We both have jobs that include driving. I deliver food; He drives a garbage truck. We rack up tons of mileage everyday. His in a heavy duty, gasoline guzzling vehicle. For hours.

So, how do we offset that? This leads to a dialog about whether or not electric vehicles were actually environmentally friendly. Having an electric car only decreases the carbon footprint if the electricity it uses also has no footprint.

So, a hybrid vehicle right? With high miles per gallon is what we’d really want to aim for. Uses gasoline, but uses distinctively less. Is it a lower carbon footprint in reality than the fancy all electric? That requires an amount of investigation I don’t have time, energy, or money for. The hybrid wins by default. Lower overall footprint, right?

I could get one to deliver food in. Someday. Maybe.

Interesting story? My lawyer. I have to spend time sitting in his office this month. He asks if I want a printed or email receipt.

“Email,” I answer, “I’m trying to be more environmentally friendly, and a printed one is just going to end up in my recycling.”

He pipes up with this story about the bad ass electric car he wants to buy. I throw my pitch.

“The electricity you charge it with has a carbon footprint. A hybrid is a better option for the environment.”

We deliberate for a while.

“Can you tell I’ve already made up my mind?” he expresses.

“Yes,” I say. We laugh. Can ya blame him? It’s a hell of a car. I can’t blame him.

“Do I get to drive it around the block once?” I ask.

That would be a resounding no. We laugh again.

It’s a fun bonding moment. Nonetheless, I again fail to make a difference.

Our house is overflowing with single use plastic bottles, now. We don’t want to pitch them. We might be able to do something with them. Make something out of them. Who knows what. But perhaps we can keep them out of the landfill somehow. Someday.

Roger creates a power station with a small, locally, previously purchased solar panel meant for some automotive use, and a newly, bought for the purpose, twelve volt battery. In case you’re not familiar with off-grid communities, this is a typical method do-it-yourself off-gridders use to remove themselves from “the system.” Asking how to do it on a off-grid facebook page will get you miles of discussion.

Our’s is bulky. Space consuming. The first time I try to use it to charge my phone, I pull the wires apart and Roger has to repair it. Don’t know how much it’s going to get used in the future, but we have one now.

We find a panel/charger combo in the RV section one day while shopping at a chain store. Ninety dollars. It’s an encased panel with two USB ports. Two phones or tablets can charge at once. If you have sun.

Only ninety bucks. Don’t get me wrong, that could save money on the electricity we pay for, and decrease our print. It’s perfect. But it’s too expensive. Too expensive is what we keep experiencing.

Because I’ve clicked on a couple of ads, my facebook feed now constantly advertises ‘environmentally friendly’ companies. They say their products help save the planet. Some of them are useful. Always too costly. We can’t pay that much for the product. We can’t be that extravagant. On some of the ads, I complain in the comment section about the price. If they truly care about the environment, they wouldn’t charge so much.

These ‘save the world’ options are not accessible to everyday Earthlings. Most of them require online ordering. That’s both a hassle and a convenience. What happens when you forget to order and run out? You can’t run to the store and get it. And autoship? When you’re living paycheck to paycheck? Not happening. Sure way to blow money on overdrafts.

The human race needs some people to step up and ‘Henry Ford’ this nonsense. You know Henry Ford, right? Made it so that the average Jane could afford to buy an automobile. Accessible to the people.

I’m going to keep using that word. Accessible. And choices. And local. Until ‘saving the planet’ is accessible to all, has available choices, and is local, all attempts are mere bandaids on a gushing wound.

The Facebook ads weren’t all a waste of time, though. I found a new laundry soap. Plastic free. It actually will cost us less each month than what we’ve been spending on detergent. Can you believe that one? It’s probably going to suck or something. We’ll see, it’s on its way. Only twelve dollars a month on autoship. Guess I'll need to keep track of that. It could end up being more than twelve dollars if I lose sight of the days.

And what are we supposed to do with those single use plastic medicine bottles?

One day, while shopping for cat litter online, I get super frustrated because I can’t find the litter I want in a bag. Only in single use containers. Large ones. Third time in a row. Last month. The month before.

Ranting occurs. Roger listens patiently. At last, I blurt out, “I ought to write a letter!”

“Yes. You should,” he interrupts. Loudly. Above my gripe level.

Well, that shuts me right up. My brain gears click and whir over the idea for a while. Roger gets his peace and quiet back.

So, I write a letter to the store chain that sells the cat litter. A proper one. To the CEO. With date and headings and everything. Directly to Corporate headquarters. As professionally as possible. I explain my issue. I make suggestions to improve their effect on our planet. As persuasively as I can manage. As practical as possible. Begging for accessibility, choices, and locality. Begging. I’ll beg. I ain’t afraid of hard work, and I ain’t afraid of begging, either. I’ve had to do both plenty. Haven’t all had to? All of us out here fighting to make ends meet?

It isn’t printed yet, or sent. I’ll break from the professional letterhead, however, when I get to that point. Beg for environmental change on environmentally unfriendly, processed paper? Um...how about handmade recycled paper instead? Although, it’s likely to be bought from someone who is capable of making usable homemade paper. Mine…Let’s just say my paper making capabilities are most likely going to stay at the level of ‘interesting art.’

I know I probably shouldn’t print them, either. Printers aren’t eco-friendly. The ink. The ink cartridges. The electricity. The styrofoam. Even though the styrofoam from printer packaging does make nice flower boxes with a little environmentally UNfriendly paint.

But I’m not sure if I can bring myself to hand-write them. No CEO of a big company is going to pay attention to a handwritten letter...are they? Maybe that requires some experimentation too.

Anyway, I now have a list of companies to write letters to. It’s a long to-do list. It keeps growing. Will I manage to get to them all? Who knows. Living requires money which requires work which requires time which….you know the treadmill.

Because that IS the true problem, isn’t it? We all perceive our environmental issues to be based on corporate greed and Earthling apathy. From our experiences this month, I no longer see it that way. We can’t blame them for our own lifestyles. We can only blame them for not giving us practical options when they can.

Being habitat-considerate requires so much forethought. And habits have to change. Hell, we can’t even remember to put our reusable grocery bags back in the car and bring them into the store with us.

Um...have I mentioned all of these plastic bottles?

Both of us do heaps of experimentation throughout this endeavor. Necessary. However, it creates more waste, trying to eliminate waste. Roger is awfully good at pointing out when we’re making a carbon footprint in order to eliminate our carbon footprint.

I speculate more than occasionally in my paper making ventures. First issue? I have to use an electric blender when I make the pulp. Also, I form more waste. Making waste in order to eliminate waste. Ug. Are we EVER going to get anywhere with this? We can’t seem to find a balance. We’re just running our brains around and around in a circle.

For example, the “picture frame incident.”

I’m attempting to make homemade paper from our paper waste. I have a letter I want to hand write on homemade paper.

When the letter paper doesn’t come out right, I switch to making paper pulp art. I buy a dollar frame to use for the endeavor. Eleven by fourteen? I have it stashed in a corner in the bedroom and it breaks. Don’t even know how.

In attempting to eliminate waste going to the landfill, I created more waste. Ooops. How does that work? And what about the carbon footprint that goes into producing said frame? Ya catching a theme here?

Waste, waste, waste. Our home habitat is full of waste.

Money, money, money. Being Earth-friendly costs us money.

I’m wasting money trying to recycle our paper waste and sell it off. I don’t even know if any of the art I’ve made will sell. I intend to sell it cheap, but aren’t I just putting off it’s return to the landfill?

Fear not, though, faithful readers. I am indeed able to reclaim and repurpose the broken frame with pulp paper art. Paper art is my main focus, while composting is Roger’s. They consume all the free time each of us has. Humans don’t have enough time and energy to focus on every issue confronting our home planet. We barely have time for just one.

I find a local church with a flea market type arrangement for the locals every saturday. It’s free. Folks can come set up their tables and put out their wares. I have hopes of having enough paper pulp art completed to sell there once before submitting my story, but time ran out. So who knows if my efforts with the paper were a waste of time. I hope to know before summer’s out, so watch for updates! I mean, it could happen?

A local businessperson friend tries to make a point to me. For recycling to be useful, it has to be monetized somehow. The paper, the compost...maybe on a larger scale they don’t make so much money? In order to eliminate the waste, you need to spend money. Money on the composting set up. Money on the paper making equipment. Money on the solar panels and batteries. Money on the hybrid car.

Can we say, “exasperated?”

One of the videos Roger and I watch is, believe it or not, how to make homemade toilet paper. This is a thing? Really? Toilet. Paper. “Eeeew?” It sounds disgusting. I have questions. What pulp is it safe to use without clogging up the septic system? Would a person WANT to use it on their derriere? Can’t picture anybody being happy to do so. After watching the video...nobody’s going to put in so much time and effort into making their own TP, unless it’s an end of the world scenario. Like, if there was an apocalypse or something and they are desperate.

Now, let me tell you about the Sisters. We have a motherhouse in our town, which is home to the Adrian Dominican Sisters. They are a forward thinking group of Catholic nuns. I worked as a nurse's aid for them for two and a half years.

One day while I was working for them, I overheard a Sister use the word “wish-cycling.” She was addressing the congregation (that’s what they call themselves. Like a church, for the non-nun, non-catholics out there).

The Sisters have recycling collection containers everywhere. All of us, workers and nuns alike, were putting anything and everything in those boxes. Who has time to decide whether or not your trash is green, brown, gray, or yellow? So she attempted to educate us all on what could be recycled and what couldn’t.

I recollect being sad at the time. I knew myself to be guilty of wish-cycling in their boxes. I brought every kind of single-use plastic container I used. My shampoo and conditioner bottles. Cleaning bottles….medicine bottles. You name it, I brought it in. So disheartening that I didn’t have anything I could do with them after that.

Geez, and what the hell DO we do with these dad-blasted pill bottles, anyway? Have I added those companies to my list of letters?

I probably ought to describe my environmental efforts prior to Roger, also. As a single woman for several years, I was hell-bent on going off grid. Reducing my budget needs by eliminating dependence on community electrical and gas usage. My intent was to be able to spend as much time as possible writing. If I could make the world a better place by having a non-environmentally destructive household, well, all the better!

I researched solar power. The point being to eliminate the electric bill, but being green would be cool as well. So, I got estimates. Did you know that the power company works with solar companies to help you switch your home over to solar? Yep. They do. But the utility company gets the power the panels generate. I was told that the electric company would be my battery.

How kind of them.

The cost for me to install the necessary panels on my trailer...more than I paid for the trailer. After the panels were installed, I would continue paying the power company for my electricity. At a discounted rate. It makes sense, right? Um...no.

I then went crazy do-it-yourselfer. Rogue. Okay, so I imagined myself a rebel. I’m a writer, I’m allowed to pretend, right?

Mini solar lights purchased from amazon lined the inside of the trailer. I scrutinized every independent solar panel/battery combo company I could find. If I’d had the money to spare, the trailer would have also been lined with individual batteries.

I could barely make the bills. I have, therefore, only one solar battery sitting on my desk right now. Alone. No solar panel. I have to press the button daily or it will beep continuously. Telling me it’s dead. Forever. I didn’t realize at purchase that I wouldn’t be able to piece-meal with it. I have to buy that company's solar panel to charge it. Their cords. I can only get more of their batteries if I want to connect it to other batteries for a full house battery system.

Why are these “environmental conscientious” companies taking advantage of their niche to try to gouge us out of more of our scraped-to-get money? I expect better of them.

Originally, I had this kooky scheme to pull myself off the grid onto solar while keeping my home attached to the power and gas companies. Did you know? Some places will not allow you to have a home not attached to public utilities. It’s against code.

The codes could be updated to meet modern needs, such as giving humans the option to be better planetary caretakers. Less dependent on our resources.

I became obsessed with bypassing the whole issue. Eliminate one appliance at a time from pulling energy from the grid. Purchase a battery and solar panel that would provide enough for my refrigerator. Set it up next to the fridge and run the panel to it. Then, the washer. The dryer. Buy an electric stove and do the same. An electric water heater.

Just another hair brained idea. I have lots. But...I still have hopes for that one, someday. You know how that goes, right? Someday when I pay the car off, someday when I pay off the trailer, someday when I pay off all of my medical bills. I’m not the only person striving for someday. We. We aren’t the only couple fighting for our someday. It’s us now. Not just me.

Back then, I had an old garbage can and used it for compost. It was half hearted and not functional. Mostly, it only contained yard refuse and paper products. It had no air holes. Hard to mix. The neighbors already considered me weird. I confirmed their suspicions many times by rolling a trash can around my yard on its side.

Have I mentioned that Roger fixed that bin? It has air/drainage holes in it now. He has the contents set up just so. Proper mix of green to brown ratio. Please don’t ask me details, because he’s now the authority on that. He spent an hour or so last night mixing food refuse we had collected in a coffee can with soil. With a spoon. Oddly, my ‘that’s so gross’ sensibilities are okay with it.

Being adept at eliminating every planet-harmful issue we as a human race face is impractical. No one person can be knowledgeable enough on every part of being environmentally friendly. We need experts in each area. One on each issue within the family unit would be preferable. One person who’s in charge of compost. One manages power consumption. Another tackles recycling and upcycling. But, what happens if the family is only one person? Two?

Maybe the next best option is for each city to have one manager in each area. Or maybe just one environmental advocate in each city. An elected official. A paid job. Can you imagine having that? Can you imagine the outrage people would feel at using a town’s financial resources for such a thing? It would never get put through. I understand the reaction. It’s discouraging, nonetheless.

Let’s talk a little bit about discouragement. And mind bending. What’s mind bending you ask? I’ll tell ya. Our town had gone to great lengths to set up a recycling station.

A couple years ago I read an article in our local paper. At that time, the city didn’t have any company who would buy the recycled material anymore. Anywhere. The recycled waste was being shipped to the dump along with the regular waste. They were apologetic. They wanted to do the right thing by our planet. They simply had no options.

Here’s the mind bending part. Many people continued to take their recyclable waste to the recycle center. Where the city picked it up, and delivered it to...the dump. With the other trash picked up at their homes. These people took the time to separate their trash and haul it to the recycle center. It’s automated. No human there to tell them otherwise. They kept doing it.

I’ll admit, the city may have fixed this. I’m only an occasional reader of the local paper. It doesn’t say anything about where the recycling goes on the city website. Why would it? We all just assume now. Ev erything’s taken care of if we’re doing our part and recycling. This is on my list of items to look further into. Someday.

I've often contemplated how to get a recycling company going. I’ve come up with name after name. None have stuck. Sketched out business plans. Scope of business. I have no real training in business, but I keep coming up with ideas anyway. Writers. We do that.

Once, I even tried to coerce that businessperson I know to include processing the material all these folk thought they were recycling into something useful. That fell through. You gotta be able to monetize it!

Maybe, though, this is the beginning. Maybe this is the birth of an actual full fledged company. A solution. One solution. We need many solutions. We have many problems.

Maybe, it begins with one picture sold from our own trash. Maybe it’s not valiant. Maybe it’s not Earth-shattering. It’s just me, maybe. Us. We two, facing the impossible together. Maybe?

I’d like that. Having a recycling company. Roger would be good at making stuff happen. I would throw a gazillion ideas at him. Of course, I would most likely drop the new wish-cycling scheme and run back off to my writing.

Wish-cycling gone real. It could happen? Don’t commandeer the company name, folks, because Wish-cycling just might be it. I claim it here and now. Maybe?

And, what in tarnation do we do with the plastic medicine bottles?

Needless to say we’ve let Greta down, Roger and I. We’ll keep trying. However, our efforts have only reached the level of a gnat on a large bowl of rotten fruit. Miss Thunberg wants it all to stop, right now.

We have lives to live. Changes are more than mildly difficult. Often, they are time consuming and expensive. If you want the everyday, average Joe to make a difference, they need to have easy, available, cheap, and practical options at their fingertips. Not options that make more carbon in the process of eliminating another source of carbon.

Which leads me to the fantasy fiction writer gone rogue sci fi writer. My son and Roger both regarded me as ridiculous when I described my idea of a household appliance. Like a dishwasher or a dryer, except a recycler. A family could put all of their household waste in it. The machine would sort and process it all for use. Then, when you needed writing paper, or a plastic container, or compost...you’d just hit the button for that item. Bang, shake, jitter...and there is your recycled item. Paper plates, cups, toilet paper. Whatever a family needs. Like on a spaceship in a science fiction novel.

Does it sound outrageous and impossible? Maybe. But Jules Verne wrote about a crazy thing called a submarine. People read that, and collective group-think made it happen. Star Trek had futuristic computer tablets. Guess what? We have them on the shelves of all of our stores now. How do you think the masses reacted to the idea of an ice box to store food in the home? An electric refrigerator? Can you imagine how the ordinary person reacted to such far fetched ideas when they came to pass?

Speaking of fantasy wish-cycling, how about a personal, Mythbuster certified, home environmental consultant? You could book online. An hour. Two hours. One fixed price. Like a cleaning service, Your personal consultant comes in, evaluates your household, and makes recommendations. The recommendations would include poor-people accessible products. They would also include recycling locations which actually recycle products into other items without, you guessed it, creating a carbon footprint. That’s what I’m talking about. Real. World.

Accessible. Choices. Local.

Back in the real world, Roger and I have plans. Upgrading the compost bin. Improving the power station set up, which may, or may not include an old, unused bicycle. I’ll continue my fantasy wish-cycling. We may get around to making reusable grocery bags out of our collected plastic bags. And dear old Facebook will keep making its stellar suggestions.

Remember when I wondered if we could make ‘going out’ money by selling upcycled and recycled handmade objects from waste? It’ll be more like money to pay for making the handmade products. But this whole adventure has made us both more aware of exactly what we are sending to the landfill.

When it comes down to it? We all, each and every one, need to pick up after ourselves. Like at home. Clean up your own messes, don’t leave them for someone else to deal with.

And I still say that a home recycling machine really could happen. We truly do have the brain power out there. Someone has the money to spare. Mechanical ingenuity exists. How do we get all three of those items together and make it happen? Oh, hell if I know. I’m just a writer. Sorry Greta. Maybe next year.