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The Website That Makes Climate Denial Easy — (ft. Climateaction.org)

Climate change, corporate lobbying, and visitations from outer space!

By Alex Mell-TaylorPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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Why hello there, traveler, and welcome to the "Apocalypse Tour!" This is the extraterrestrial walking (or hovering) tour where we observe all the locations that led to species 947's demise — 947 was also known as humanity [hyoo·ma·nuh·tee]. This tour covers the locations that contributed to humanity's untimely end on a tiny planet called Earth in the year 90,423 XE (what humans may know as 2XXX AD).

Right now, we are providing locations for our information-based species and going digital to look at a "website" (the Earthling term for a node on 947's global information network) called climateaction.org. This "site" promoted itself as providing resources for those wishing to reverse "climate change" — the human term for destroying the atmosphere they needed to survive. Climateaction's About section described its purpose as "to facilitate collaboration to encourage the development, deployment and accelerated uptake of globally sustainable, net-zero solutions."

"Net zero" [net·zee·row] was a seemingly simple concept where the emission of greenhouse gasses (i.e., what most species residing on a Tier 6 world would know as death chemicals) are balanced out by mechanisms that somehow remove this poison from the atmosphere. The theory went that as long as something removed these poisons eventually, then no one would have to change much of anything at all.

Given Earth's imminent collapse, this goal might seem like a good thing, but truthfully the more advanced "carbon capture" [kaar·bn kap·chr] technologies meant to remove these death chemicals were not, well, existent. They were exorbitantly expensive, and governments and businesses (what you may know as a "resource monger") could not feasibly ramp up production until well beyond the point of no return for humanity.

Massive corruption and an unstable political climate also ensured that real regulatory mechanisms that were meant to offset these poisons (i.e., planting trees on mass, engaging in mitigation of ecosystems, etc.) would not be properly implemented. The rhetoric of "net zero" was used deceptively to reduce people's sense of urgency in combating this crisis, hoping that some far-off technology would save them in the distant future. It was always tomorrow when massive societal changes had to occur, never today (see the Breeni Overload Fallacy).

We can see the unseriousness of "net zero" solutions by looking at those who supported climateaction.org. Many of its partners belonged to a web of "sustainable" business affiliates such as The World Steel Association and the Mission Possible Partnership, whose founding partner is the World Economic Forum— one of the very entities that helped lead to 947's untimely end.

In fact, Climate Action.org was specifically cofounded by Nick Henry in 2007 — a man whose "firm" (another name for a resource monger), the Henley Media Group, represented death chemical producers such as Shell Oil and BP. It was no coincidence that a man representing some of the biggest poison creators on Earth decided to create an organization that appropriated the language of "protecting the environment" to destroy it instead.

You may be confused about why any person or entity would want to prevent genuine solutions to combat the deterioration of the atmosphere they needed to survive and instead advocate for fake ones. You see, Earth was run by an economy called "capitalism" [ka·puh·tuh·li·zm], where essential services were only obtainable through fictional tokens called "money." The more tokens you had, the more power you controlled in this society, and those who had amassed these tokens were worried that proper solutions to fight climate change would mean they would have to share their tokens with others.

At this point in the 21st century, most humans were aware that climate change was destroying their atmosphere, so token holders put a lot of exhaustive effort into seeming like they were solving the problem. They gave people like Nick Henry a small fraction of their tokens or "wealth" [welth] to propose fake solutions like "net-zero" so they could pretend like they were fighting for the climate when really they weren't doing much of anything at all. This strategy would not bode well for them in the long run, as they ultimately discovered that their wealth tokens would not be able to purchase an atmosphere outright (see also the Shiga'ri Blunder for more historical parallels).

Climateaction.org's height was during the early 2020s, before REDACTED. Visit it then to see classic climate denialist literature such as this press briefer heralding the UK's release of a "net zero" handbook. This fictional work, termed by some as "fan fiction," [fæn·fɪkʃən] was quite popular at the time. Climate Action hosted an annual Sustainable Innovation Forum every year where token holders shared their favorite pieces of fan fiction with hundreds of other denialists.

For our information-based species, remember that this website was very fragile and quite susceptible to online attacks, even by flimsy human standards. Be careful with how you traverse it. Do not, under any circumstances, disrupt this site, for doing so would have quite the dastardly consequence on the space-time continuum and would be against human property laws.

Note — for the humans who have somehow bypassed our encryption protocols, take comfort in the fact that this is merely a joke from a normal human and not a retrospective on your species' imminent demise.

DO NOT use this information to stop this future because that would create a time paradox and go against your people's laws, as well as Medium's ToS., which I'm told are very important. I AM NOT encouraging you to take the law into your own hands, something I cannot do as an appendageless species.

See more Apocalypse Tour entries here:

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About the Creator

Alex Mell-Taylor

I write long-form pieces on timely themes inside entertainment, pop culture, video games, gender, sexuality, race and politics. My writing currently reaches a growing audience of over 10,000 people every month across various publications.

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