One With Nature

When I was a little girl I believed in fairies and all magical dreamy things.. I loved being outside in the woods off path playing on mossy patches and skipping rocks next to waterfalls. I’d pick a flowers to press in my “Fairies” book and imagine or overthink that I may have unwittingly stolen a poor fairy’s house. I remember lying awake late on a school night, drifting off into dreaming..castles and ocean scenes..fairy eyes and fairy wings..

Because I was/am still an early riser and a night owl my Nana would come to our house early in the morning on Saturdays and sneak me out of my bedroom window while my mom and brothers slept in. My mom always knew because of course they discussed it.. Nan and I would walk up to their (my grandparents) house which was about the equivalent of two blocks from our house as we were nicely stationed directly behind them in a small trailer on a huge plot of land. We’d have coffee and breakfast and look through pattern drawers to find an outfit for me and her to sew. There were SO many shelves in her sewing room filled with bolts of fabric and notions, lace and Rick Rack..and I would maticulously run my hand over the textures..soft cottons and flannels; print fabrics of paisleys and loud colorful florals and huge tomato cans full of buttons! I would dip my hands into those buttons and let them stream out through my fingers.. all these glorious textiles at my lezuire to choose from and make something beautiful to wear.

Billie Faye, my Nana (who was my mom’s mother) taught me everything I know about making clothes, sewing and patterning as well as all the rules that I don’t follow as a designer should (but none of the real ones ever do..) My Nan taught me to be a go-getter and gave me some excellent life skills from the sewing room to southern cooking in the kitchen and now not taking any bullcrap from anyone!

From 2012 thru 2019 my son and I had been living and working in Oregon when we moved back home to Alabama in 2019 at the behest of my sweet Nana..because southern mothers and Nanas always say “come back home” and there is always a sense of urgency or what seems to be a good reason to be lured back to home base. It might be the sweet tea and BBQ you’re missing or Nana’s cornbread..but ultimately it was my tight knit relationship with her and my love for her that brought me back..every southern girl knows that you'll always go..always. So I did.

While I was home we really had some fun! We talked about all our favorite things like food and making art and I told her every Oregon story I had in my memory bank, like hunting for agates and staying in the Coast House which is a famous little vacation house in a cove at the top of the rocks looking across to the lighthouse.. She and I collaborated on a set of pillow cases together. I hand printed large leaf plants, philodendron, fern and palm fronds from her home plants and garden and Billie Faye hand embroidered them. It’s amazing looking at them and seeing her creativity meld with mine , together we made quite the team. Her French knots and chain stitches just really make the print stand out and they’re all by her hands and are my most valued treasure! Sadly, in January 2020, right before the pandemic my sweet Nana left this earth as I gently held her hand and kissed her forehead. I’m not sure if I was in shock or at peace but..

My world of magic and creativity almost crumbled.. you see a few years prior I had also lost my husband and raised our child on my own..so holding it together was already very fragile for me. Losing her felt like losing one of the most important and dear true lives of my life.

Before my husband died at 34 years old I remember escape was working three jobs and dreaming about every detail of my own business and how I would enjoy the freedom from being single mom working to just being able to create beautiful things and afford to give my son everything he needed.

After losing my Nan and being kind of stuck in Alabama I had to really just.. I just straight up persevered..and with my Nana's sweet words always in my heart. She said “Little angel girl you are so talented and when someone sees your work it will be big one day and when it hits it will happen fast!” LOL awww! I’m aware that most grandmothers are biased when it comes to granddaughters but I would like to believe her words because she said them to me so I’m holding on to that and manifesting all that goodness!

My entire college career was spent in the art department.. I was in love with printmaking, photography and sewing and had been working on utilizing botanicals to imprint onto my fabrics. I would forage in the woods and in sacred spaces like Native American trails and spiritual places where ivy and flowers grow. Being in nature kept me in touch with my Cherokee Indian heritage which is most likely why I feel such a strong connection with nature..My processes were and still are, in my opinion, highly experimental and at the time no one was usually doing what I was doing and I remember when I began using hammered flowers no one but grannies were doing this technique...my favorite and the most current process for my textiles is called botanical mono-printing. It is done by using a huge printing intaglio press to press my found foliage into the fabrics or onto my pre-cut garments and or recycled pieces. This creates beautiful floral imprints and the pigmentation from the flowers and green chlorophyll imprint into the fabric as well, leaving an almost exact imprintation of even the skeletal veins of each leaf. After weeks of drying, final prints are just really awe inspiring. It’s a capture of a scene and evokes emotions.. nature really does speak through it’s art. I always see the garment I want to make out of the final print or layout.. this brings me joy and is so fulfilling as an artist and a creative director/one woman run business because the reward is “look what I have created!”

During the pandemic I felt an extraordinary awakening mostly because I had lots of time alone to really focus on where I was and what I was looking for to use creatively in nature and that freedom gave me a creative edge that I hadn't felt in so long. I could run wild outside and the traffic was lessened and hardly any planes in the sky. It’s like I realized that we have forgotten the beauty of our surroundings because of technology and constant distractions and everything had been disaplaced and swept up in dialogues created in part by the world of social media..

About a year into the pandemic I received an email invitation to show my clothing at New York Fashion Week where only 10 designers were invited as "The Ones to Watch" a platform for up and coming designers to show what they’re doing currently and to be seen on a runway.

As for me the opportunity to share my sustainable looks on a New York runway at Fashion Week was just something that I couldn’t pass up. I said yes and since there was like literally one month to prepare I fund raised, for passage and fabric, and to New York I flew with all of my garments in tow..

I had packed my thread, pin cushion and scissors and all that I had made..I was still sewing til 5am in my hotel all three days before the show..I felt like a mad scientist because most of my freshly printed fabrics weren’t even completely dry and I was hand stitching all the remaining hemlines, necklines and sleeves. Alas I finished every garment in time for fittings only to take some apart and resize to fit models.. I of course hadn’t fitted or had sizes of any models before the show. It was one of my most exhilarating challenges and fashion show experiences to date.*wipes sweat off brow in memory..

Even though fashion week was at the tail end of the pandemic in NYC and on a roof-top in SOHO the excitement of dressing my models and watching all of the other designers' creative pieces flow down the runway was so thrilling! I remember tearing up at the end of my portion of the show and standing there on the rooftop thinking "this is for you Nana.."

Now I’m back home in Alabama after spending a week at the Oregon Coast foraging seaweed, giant leaf plants and fern for my next collection. While I was in Oregon I found the perfect studio space, it’s surrounded by magical lush forests and the river next to it with a gorgeous communal patio space for resident artists. It’s my current dream to have my own studio space and for four years it’s been all about a studio to miraculously become available in this particular building. And like magic, one space opened up while I was there.. Hopefully I will know if I’m next on the list in August!! Fingers crossed that something this perfect could fall into place because I f I were able to obtain this space..cutting fabrics on the floor and sewing in tight quarters in my personal home space would be history.. It would be a miracle of miracles and if I can afford to do all the moving again back to Oregon from Alabama where there is so much more opportunity for me as an artist.. well I guess we will see what will become of my sustainable botanical fashion..

With all that being explained like a person who wears their heart on their sleeve..I’m not sure exactly what’s next but I do know that if you just stop what you’re doing but never stop dreaming, maybe put down your phone get off the Netflix for a few little whiles, go outside to see what nature has to offer.. Make something beautiful that lights up your eyes and they will be opened to magical things you’ve almost forgotten;) the reward is great.. to become one again with nature.