Life without Social Media

Today, I would like to share a topic that has been occupying my thoughts recently. However, before delving into my musings, I must preface them by explaining that I grew up without the presence of social media. Although I did create an account during my teenage years, I seldom utilized it. It was only last year that I began to consistently engage with social media, and I must say that it has been a delightful means of connecting with fellow artists and all of you. The stories and messages that you have shared have undoubtedly enriched my life. Nonetheless, I have also observed how social media can easily fuel feelings of inadequacy and comparison. As someone who has not been exposed to social media until recently, I recognize its immense power and cannot fathom the influence it has over individuals who have had it throughout their lives. It is effortless to view what others share, particularly their lifestyles, as something that one desires for oneself. However, in my case, this feeling did not dissipate even after relocating. When I resided in the city, I romanticized the idea of living in the countryside. Yet, upon moving and leaving behind my community and friends, I began to romanticize city living. In this rural area, there are few individuals, and while it is still possible to form friendships with like-minded people, it is not as effortless as in a city with hundreds of thousands of inhabitants. There are limited restaurants and shops, and traveling to large stores requires a two-hour round trip. Initially, I missed my book clubs and coworkers, and felt a sense of despair that I was missing out on life by residing in such a tranquil location.

I constantly pondered: "Despite my youth, why am I not embarking on worldly adventures and engaging in thrilling endeavors?" Upon witnessing my friends' online posts of dining at fancy restaurants and vacationing in exotic destinations, I couldn't help but feel dreadfully mundane. I found myself tirelessly working for minimum wage, solely to afford my health insurance. If you reside in America, you will understand the predicament I faced. Although my financial situation has since improved, granting me a sense of stability, I still longed for the potential careers and opportunities that could have awaited me in the city. During my previous employments, it was effortless to compare myself to friends who effortlessly afforded luxuries and held seemingly more impressive jobs. As my income increased, I experienced a greater sense of ease, yet my happiness remained unaffected. While I do not solely attribute my insecurities to social media, its exposure consistently prompted me to question my own contentment and satisfaction with life, particularly when it appeared that everyone else online was happier than I. This year, I encountered insecurities I had never before experienced. I swiftly recognized the significance of engaging solely in online communities that provided genuine value, education, or inspired my creativity. Additionally, I discovered that social media easily facilitated projecting my own dissatisfaction or insecurity onto others, rather than empowering myself to embrace my true self and acknowledge that everyone's journey unfolds at a different pace. As I delved deeper into self-discovery, I realized that I had been preoccupied with comparison and superficially judging other lifestyles based solely on the highlights I witnessed online, rather than genuinely questioning if those lives would suit me.

Would that lifestyle enable me to assist others and leave a positive impact on the world? I had to strive towards my goals while acknowledging that immediate gratification may not be attainable. If circumstances had not allowed me to relocate to the countryside when I did, I am confident that I could still find happiness in the city, embracing the different chapters of my life and gradually working towards my aspirations. This journey would also provide me with valuable experiences. This brings me to the topic of my channel and the aspects of life that I choose to emphasize. As you can observe, I predominantly share content depicting joyful or contemplative days filled with tranquility. However, I also have my fair share of challenging days, lazy days, chaotic days, and difficult moments. I do not always live up to my own expectations, and this self-criticism can be quite intense. At times, I find myself shedding tears. In fact, I cry quite frequently. These moments are usually private, and when I am upset, I seek solace in the company of someone I love, such as my boyfriend. It would feel peculiar to document these raw moments on camera while maintaining their authenticity, primarily because I want this channel to revolve around inspiration, ideas, peace, and art, rather than my personal daily struggles. Furthermore, it is of utmost importance to me that I do not coerce others into participating in my videos if it makes them uncomfortable. This is why I choose not to share everything, as I believe that when I am with someone or experiencing a truly special moment, I want to fully immerse myself in the experience. Interrupting it to capture it for posterity would detract from its essence. Instead, I understand that the only way I will continue to be motivated to create videos is by doing so when I am genuinely inspired and enjoying life. However, I prefer to communicate these difficult moments through my words, where I attempt to convey a more intimate reality. This approach brings me comfort and sustains my inspiration, I suppose? I hope this explanation is comprehensible.

Anyway, I appreciate all of you, I really do, and I hope you’re doing well and embracing

whatever chapter of your story you are currently in.

Each one is precious and has so much to give.

There is so much love and beauty in this messy world.

Take care, and have a lovely day or night.