"Can you not also build bridges out of stone?"

There is a Monty Python skit where a rabble of pitchfork wielding peasants present a suspected witch to a medieval knight, Sir Bedivere, and ask if they can burn her. As the only man present who “hasn’t got sh*$ all over him,” Bedivere is the defacto village authority, and it falls to him to determine if this unfortunate woman is a witch? With the jostling crowd growing angrier at every passing second, Bedivere delves deep into his stores of medieval logic and pulls out an explanation: witches burn because they are made of wood. So how to prove this woman is made of wood? “Build a bridge out of her!” one man yells. Bedivere wisely considers, but then asks, “but can you not also make bridges out of stone?”

The discussion continues in this logical fashion, with Bedivere working with the men to determine that both wood and ducks float in water, and that if she weighs as much as a duck, she is made of wood, therefore a witch, therefore burnable. A quick demonstration on a rigged set of scales follows, the men are given their permission to murder the woman, and a passing King Arthur rewards Bidevere’s wise use of science and crowd control with an offer to join his Knights of the Round Table.

One line stands out to me in this idiotic exchange: when Bedivere asks, “Can you not also make bridges out of stone?” His response subdues the crowd, creates a moment of calm, and allows them to brainstorm a solution everyone, aside from the witch, is happy with. I’m sure someone asked a similar question in the 1983 Panda Express Boardroom, when the company determined that white styrofoam containers were the best way to distribute their delicious, orange syrup chicken to the waiting masses. “But can you not also make containers out of paper?” is what someone would have said, having taken a moment to ponder what millions of indestructible styrofoam boxes would look like floating in the ocean. Some more medieval logic likely followed: a paper tray cost .03 cents more to produce than a styrofoam tray, styrofoam trays could be produced 0.1 times faster than paper, and most importantly, paper came from trees, and how would Panda be able to send junk mail to their customers if all the paper was being used to hold their food? And so the decision to create the horrid, non-microwave safe containers. The happy executives saved their money, the delighted masses ate their chicken, and we the people of 2021 have delivered unto the Pacific Ocean a trash island twice the size of Texas.

Turtles live in that ocean, and they breathe particles of that island. I watched a video of some nice young people pulling a 6 inch straw out of a turtle's nose. He was bleeding and in pain and his relief at having the offending plastic removed from his head was heartbreaking. After I saw that, I made sure to stop grabbing straws and plastic lids at fast food restaurants when I ordered a drink.

Penguins swim in the ocean. I watched a kids movie where an obese penguin voiced by Robin Williams is nearly strangled to death by a plastic 6 pack beer ring. That movie eventually veered off into other topics of human messes and how we are constantly making life harder for our tuxedoed pals, but that scene stuck. After I saw that, I started cutting those plastic 6 pack rings once I had finished all the beer. I make sure that every individual ring is broken before I throw it into the trash, so it can be thrown into the ocean safely later.

I’m an artist, I create toys and sculptures. Sometimes I grab spare bits of plastic and junk from my trash and use it as filler in my resin molds. It helps me conserve resin, which is an expensive plastic in itself, and also keeps plastic from ending up in the ocean, at least until someone throws my toys away. I can almost see the ocean from my house. I rarely go in. The water is cloudy and dark, and flooded with boat exhaust and oil from the nearby port. I remember seeing a picture of another turtle lying on a beach just like the one I live by. He was a skeleton, but his stomach still contained all the bits of wrappers, containers and waste that he ingested throughout his life. His body wasn’t able to break any of it down, so it remained in him until he passed. And now it is back in the world, ready to pass to someone else. I hope the plastic sealed in my resin toys stays there for a while before it too is given over to the stomach of a turtle.

I recycle cans, boxes and paper whenever I can. I tried creating a recycle bin for paper at my last job, but gave up when I googled recycling regulations and found out paper that has any sort of sealant, glue or finish on it can’t be recycled and will be separated out and tossed right back into the trash I had snatched it from. I make sure all the liquid is drained from cans and bottles are rinsed of excess tomato sauce or juice. The trash plants would likely not allow these things to be recycled if I didn’t. I very rarely ever buy bottled water. I have moved on to a reusable, bulletproof metal canteen for my watering needs. I’m sure there are plenty of other little things I do to protect the oceans and reduce my carbon footprint. But that is the basic sum. Pretty impressive, right? Oh, and I drive a Prius!

Now pitiful though these actions may be, they aren’t nothing. Each one is a microcosm of what ultimately needs to be done to make a difference. If I stopped doing each of those things, I would be so much worse a person than I am now, chiding myself for all the things I’m also not doing. So if you too are wondering how on earth you make a difference, keep a little list of all the little things you do, and keep adding to it so that it eventually becomes a long list of all the little things you do.

Though they are often more expensive because of the increased care and sensitivity that go into their making, eco-friendly products are popping up more and more, and usually boast some cool packaging and positive messages. These disposable straws made of paper, animal-friendly socks that donate to environmental conservation, and rugs made of recycled plastic are all purchases that lead you one solitary step in the direction of good. As a graphic designer, I’ve learned that people respond well to positivity, beneficial claims and exclusivity. So creating an eco-friendly product line or packaging that benefits the environment (or at least doesn’t leave it any worse off) is a dream of mine, and one I can actually see myself realizing. Every decision I make as a designer, whether it be replacing the transparent plastic clamshell from the inside of a phone case with paper or using recycled cardboard for a toothbrush box, would silently coax a customer to take their single solitary step towards protecting the planet.

I don’t kid myself, our species has put our planet in a precarious position and doesn’t seem all that interested in steering it away from ledge. But if we each do all we can do, maybe the global conversation will gradually change, and environmental ignorance will no longer be the norm. Companies will no longer get away with packaging their food in indestructible foam containers simply because they are cheaper. Maybe logic will win out, witches, like the earth will cease to get burned. Someone might dare to ask, “can we not bring our own reusable containers to deliver this delicious syrup covered chicken into our stomachs?” If Panda Express wants to avoid joining the ranks of fools clogging the Round Table, they will consider this question and see reason. And in true Monty Python fashion, they may ask that someone a question of their own: “Who are you who is so wise in the ways of science?”

In this day and age, I’d feel like a king if I were asked that question, wouldn’t you?